I was talking to a girlfriend of mine. She is recently remarried to a great guy who has an eleven year old son. Every other weekend when the son comes over she has to sleep alone. The dad and son sleep together in a different bedroom. She hates sleeping by herself and thinks the son is old enough to sleep alone. . .I agree. . .but how could she approach this subject with her husband?
2007-11-20 08:36:52 · 14 answers · asked by sparkles9 6 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Parenting
Eeeeewwwww on the family bed, lol.
I am not putting myself in the situation . . .she was talking to me about it. . .. and I wondered if it was really weird or if I was being weird. My kids are still very young but they sleep in their own dang beds, lol.
2007-11-20 08:45:34 · update #1
I understand they only see each other every other weekend. .. BUT sleeping is not spending time.
AND, heck I don't care enough to say anything to either one of them. . .I just think it is creepy. . .the kids is almost a teenager. . .get off the boob already.
2007-11-20 08:49:06 · update #2
The kid is normal and healthy. The wife loves the hubby . . .hubby loves the wife. But, there is a boundary for them when it comes to the son. I think the person who said he drops everything for the son is spot on. . .personally I think he drops his wife when the son is home.
2007-11-20 08:51:27 · update #3
well, it sounds like the father and son have issues with boundaries. it's good that the dad wants to show his son that he cares, and that he is important, but he also needs to show the son that dad and new wife are also important, a unit, and need time together.
the dad needs to show the son that it is possible to care about two people, and that sometimes, the son's wants should come second. the dad should be modeling healthy relationship behaviors for his son, but he's instead telling the son that "regardless of what else is going on in my life, i'll always drop everything for you". while that is a nice sentiment, it is not always realistic, nor is it healthy.
in life, we have to learn that we do not always get our way, and we learn that first from our parents.
camping trips and other things like that are the appropriate way for this father to express his feelings for his son, but the father is sending the wrong message to the son. the boy needs to learn to share. and so does the dad...the dad needs to learn to share his son with his new wife, and the son needs to learn to accept seeing dad with his new wife.
he is setting up some bad precedents that could lead to resentment by all parties.
and honestly, it's a little, uh, creepy.
2007-11-20 08:47:50 · answer #1 · answered by sllieder 4 · 3⤊ 1⤋
I could understand if they weren't married and he didn't want to give his 11 year old son a bad impression, that he wouldn't share her bed while his son was there, BUT they are married.
It seems really peculiar that he would share his son's bed at that age. Does his son sleep alone when at his normal home? I can understand a father wanting to spend the time with his son, but NOT in bed. There seems to be something off there.
2007-11-20 16:59:30 · answer #2 · answered by Barb Outhere 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
That is strange. How can he kick her out of her own bed? The boy is eleven for gods sake. She should tell her husband outright that she will no longer leave her own bed. She can agree to fix up a room just for the son, or he can sleep on the couch, he'll live. She should try to find out why it is necessary for the father and son to sleep together, is the son scared? Does the father feel guilty and want to spend more alone time with son? If you want the absolute honest truth, I would be worried cause it sounds kind of pervy to me.
2007-11-20 16:47:39 · answer #3 · answered by aml0017 5 · 3⤊ 1⤋
Yes it seems strange, but there might be a reason for it that only the Dad knows.
If I got married again, my new bride would have to understand that my relationship with my children is very strong.
And many times she would need to understand that when I spend time with them.
Pastor Art
2007-11-21 01:07:59 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
It's strange but I would think she should be able to talk to her husband this without a second thought. What kind of bogus marriage is this? Do they not talk to each other?
If the kid is not somehow emotionally or physically retarded or disabled, he should be sleeping on his own. There is more to this story that you either don't know or aren't sharing in the question.
2007-11-20 16:48:37 · answer #5 · answered by Georges 3 · 3⤊ 1⤋
I'm wondering...this is your business how???
If SHE has a problem with it then let her deal with it. It's only every other weekend. You both say the child's old enough to sleep on his own, why isn't she? She can't give up two weekends a month? Sounds like she has a problem too. If the boy is old enough to sleep alone so is the woman.
2007-11-20 16:45:40 · answer #6 · answered by musicpanther67 5 · 0⤊ 3⤋
His son is old enough to sleep by himself. Maybe he sleeps with him because he wants to. If he only gets limited time with him, he may want to spend as much time as possible with him. Your friend may have to learn to live with it. That will always be his son, she may not always be his wife. Good luck and God Bless.
2007-11-20 16:44:54 · answer #7 · answered by Jennifer W 2 · 2⤊ 1⤋
Yes this sounds very very strange to me.....a father shouldnt be sleeping in his 11 year old sons bed!!!
2007-11-20 16:55:08 · answer #8 · answered by It's a Girl!!! 5 · 3⤊ 0⤋
She needs to tell him how she feels. Since she is married if he does respect her feeling he does not care for her. She need to be blunt and say I do not think you need to sleep in the same room with your son. He is old enough to sleep by himself.
2007-11-20 16:43:32 · answer #9 · answered by iknow 2 · 4⤊ 1⤋
many boys are babified and are scared to be left alone during the night. his father should of weened him off this dependancy 4 years earlier. also not to frighten you but there are several pedafiles who sleep with children. fact: more than 80% of children molested or raped whether boys or girls are done so by close relatives. father, mother, brother, uncle, stepdad, female teachers too.
2007-11-20 16:46:10 · answer #10 · answered by kat m 3 · 3⤊ 1⤋