17 year olds sisters feeling and probly ruin her relationship with her older sister ok here is the problem my 17 year old sister is in absolute love with this boy i know puppy love ..they see each other off and on but not committed in a relationship now my 19 year old sister has this friend which she calls her best friend .....she actually slept with the guy that my 17 year old sister is in love with and i know this because my 19 year old sisters boyfriend has a big mouth and told me by accident
now i live on my own i have a wife and a 2 year old daughter i have my own problems ...but its killing me to see my youger sister in love with kid and she has no clue it happened and i want to tell her and i cant bring myself to do it .....and my older sister doesnt seem to care she just says ...well who cares its not like they are going out ...and i was like you know how much your sister is in love with this kid ....you should tell your friend she crossed the line ..... please help
2007-11-20 08:35:20 · 38 answers · asked by Dan M 5 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
You guys and girls have good points coming from both ends ......i do mind my own business and let them live theirs ..if my 19 year old sisters boyfriend didnt tell me ..this wouldnt be weighing on my mind ....but its kinda eating me up ...and when i go over and see them snug on the couch watching a movie ....i mean they hang out alot ...my mom and dad seem to like the kid but they dont know if they did my mom would flip out ...
2007-11-20 08:46:28 · update #1
WOW! This is one of those things where you may be damned if you do, damned if you don't! Maybe you can talk to your parents and see if they have any advice? Good luck to all of you!
2007-11-20 08:40:42 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is a tough one. Stories like this usually make for good fiction but your situation is real.
If your little sister knows what's going on, how will that help her? I feel the older sister should be the one to tell her about the guy in question but I get the feeling that's not going to happen, at least not on purpose.
If you speak up expect a lot of fall out and expect the trouble to follow you home. Also the younger sister might not be all that grateful for the information.
If the older sister won't tell the younger sister about what happened the I think you should. You need to find a time when the two you can speak privately and she can't immediately confront the other parties. Up front you have let her know that she needs to handle this maturely.
Good luck, I think you'll need it.
2007-11-20 08:53:13 · answer #2 · answered by brianjames04 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Does the 17 year old think they have an "exclusive" relationship. Not committed, but really only seeing each other? I married a man who had sex with someone else (and created a child) while I thought we were having an exclusive relationship. I "forgave" because I'd already accepted his proposal and I'd convinced myself that I was "in love", but I will never forget what my Dad told me. He said, if he's done it once, he'll do it again. Find someone more trustworthy or get used to it. I wish I would have listened. I say, take your sister aside and tell her what you've heard. Tell her that you're not trying to drag her boyfriend down, or influence her choices, but she needs to know the kind of person he is in order to make the best judgment. There are also medical concerns -- you know it's true, you're not sleeping with just one person -- medically you're sleeping with EVERYONE they've ever slept with as well. STD's, even the ones that can be easily treated if caught are nothing to mess around with.
2007-11-20 08:47:29 · answer #3 · answered by Bonnie L 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Okay. So if the guy hasn't slept with your 17 year old sis and they are just friends, it's ok for her to have a crush on him and he can sleep with whomever he wants no problem. Your sis should be able to handle it and she can find out on her own if she doesn't already know... Your 19 year old sis can't always control what (or who) her friends do. She can't be held responsible for anything unless , of course, your 17 year old sis is already sleeping with or dating said guy.
My advice: Stay out of it, unless you know for a fact that he is actually cheating on her (meaning they have an actual monogamus relationship). And your 19 year old sis is not to blame at all. I am sure they will both be fine without too much drama in the family. Enjoy the holidays!
Always.
2007-11-20 15:12:25 · answer #4 · answered by pressure_works 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I can tell that you are hurting for her and that you really want to do the right thing here. But knowing the right thing isn't always easy.
I personally would have a talk with the young man face to face and tell him that you know what happened and that he needs to confess to your sister, or break it off or you will.
I would also tell your 19 year old sister that she needs to tell her friend that it wasn't appropriate for her to sleep with someone whom she knows her little sister has a crush on even if they aren't dating. What about standing up for your family?
I'd tell the older sister that she should know that one way or another her little sister is going to find out and she is going to be terribly hurt that her older sister who is supposed to have her back, knew and didn't tell her and didn't stand up for her. She has to live with that choice.
2007-11-20 08:45:50 · answer #5 · answered by wondermom 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
if i was you..i would tell your sister.but you will have to take the risk of your youngest sister getting mad at you because she might think you are lying to her..especially if your other sister wont tell her.but if i was in that situation then i would tell her..and if it ruins the relationship between your two sisters then..well..your one sister isnt actting like she cares anyways, so it shouldnt really matter if it ruins it.but i would tell your sister because what if that relationship became serious..? then wouldnt you want your sister to know even more..right? its better that you let her know now before things could get worse. i hope this helps..and im sure it will be hard to tell her and she might get mad at you..but you never know..one day she may thank you..instead of you not telling her and then one day her find out, and also find out you knew as well and didnt tell her..that would be bad.but anyways, i cant make the decision for you, but if it was me, i would tell her..i hope this helps. ♥
2007-11-20 08:47:27 · answer #6 · answered by kitten_eyes 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I get it you care about your sisters and that's cool. But they're both big girls. It's not your job to protect or rescue them.
If it's a problem for your little sister, it'll be her problem and she'll learn from it. If it's puppy love, it'll pass in a few months anyway and she'll be on to the next guy.
If you've got problems of your own, work on them. Your wife will thank you. Otherwise don't borrow trouble.
2007-11-20 08:43:43 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you should ask her if she is really into this guy. Ask her opinion about him first. Get all the info you need from her, ask her how she feels bout an open relationship (catch my hint) before you break the news to her if you. You need to tell her so she will not be made a fool. But you just gotta find the right time to tell her thats why I said find out all you can about how she feels about him then that way you willl know how to break it to her.
2007-11-20 08:45:49 · answer #8 · answered by Crystal 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i am sorry you are in this situation with your sisters. i don't know if i would come right out and tell your younger sister about the guy but maybe put some hints her way that she will catch on to but you know the old addage about you can't see what is right in front of you till it is to late and no matter how many people tell her what is going on she may not believe you till she sees it with her own eyes
2007-11-20 08:42:22 · answer #9 · answered by neesa o 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My advice. Stay well clear. You risk breaking up a whole family. The guy who told you this dirt may be lying. If he is and your sister denies it your other sister won't believe her. If your kid sister has a crush it will disappear when she finds someone she really loves. Meanwhile .... keep your mouth firmly shut.
2007-11-20 08:41:09 · answer #10 · answered by quatt47 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
At 32, you should be old enough to know when to mind your own business. How did you figure out your problems when you were 17?
2007-11-20 08:38:51 · answer #11 · answered by Mike T 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋