my parents have weird parenting styles. i'm home for thanksgiving break and my 17 yo step-sis and Zac (her boyfriend) were arguing (they had been at it for about 10 min. and were screaming at each other by the time trace (her dad) walked in" they were at the point of "breaking up" when Trace (the dad) said "woah, woah, woah, what's going on here". the dialogue (not word for word):
Audrey (sis): nothing
trace: it looks like something to me
rey: zac just needs to go home and get the ---- out of my life
zac: don't worry i'm gone
trace: no, you're staying. get your butt over here. you mean to tell me that you 2 have been together for 4 mo., then when something hard comes up, you break up and move on to someone else,and you keep repeating the cycle until what? your empty and miserable. can you both honestly say you have 0 feelings for each other anymore?
zac and rey: (both remain extremely silent......)
2007-11-20 08:23:18 · 27 answers · asked by Anonymous in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Parenting
trace: i thought so. do you know what this is teaching you? it's teaching you no matter if you still like or love the person, if something hard comes up, you give up and move on. so later when you both get married (not necessarily to each other) and a few years down the road, there's a money issue. are you just gonna get a divorce and give up and find someone else? if you 2 no longer have feelings for each other, then i agree, you should break up, but if you're just having an argument and are mad, then i want you to march into that room, sit down, and have a heart to heart talk and work everything out. i don't want my daughter going from relationship to relationship just because of stupid arguments like this, and zac, you're not my son, but i care about you, and i don't want you doing that either. now go and talk it out, but if i hear shouting, i'm coming in and i'm gonna help you work it out, and you don't want that. do you? i didn't think so. now go"
2007-11-20 08:23:36 · update #1
he's the kinda guy, that when he says something, you do it. so they went and sat down and zac said "so what is it your mad about" and they just talked it out. now they are out skateboarding around the neighborhood (like they do every day). but i was just wondering if other parents agreed with how trace handled this situation.
2007-11-20 08:25:40 · update #2
i can understand where he's coming from, but everyone needs to go through these kinds of things...
2007-11-20 08:27:41 · answer #1 · answered by Amanda Nicole 4 · 4⤊ 3⤋
I wasn't a teenage mother and my children are still very small. However, I have alwasy assumed that if one of my boys ( I know its alittle different because I have boys, but I also have stepdaughter and would treat the situation the same way) got their girlfriend pregnant at a young age, I would accept it. I dont really see what the point is in getting mad and screaming about it, its done. There is no reason I can see to outlaw the boyfreind seeing as he is just as guilty in all this as the daughter. I would just g ahead and get happy, youre going to have grandchild after all! I would accept him into the family as long as he respected what that means. He would have to be supportive of my daughter while she were pregnant and really make an honest effort to be a good father when the baby was born. He would also have to be willing to stand by my daughter and support her finacially. That is what I would expect of my boys were they in that situation. Supporting the boyfriend is one way of supportng your daughter. My moms saying is and always has been... if shes(me) happy, then I'm happy. If she becomes unhappy with him (my husband or boyfriends at the time) then I become unhappy. Be there for your daughter, because not being there might drive her away. Good luck to you!
2016-04-05 00:31:15 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think that the father had a point. Many relationships are very trivial and cast aside far too easily. I whould have also pulled the girl aside after Zac left and asked her about her honest opinion on their relationship. If there was something bad going on that affected her actions and caused her to want to break up, I would gently probe to find that out. And keep an eye on them together and her actions and behavior to see if there seemed to be anything going on beyond what she'd shared.
I was raised in a very supportive, loving home that encouraged talking through your problems (which was ironic considering how often my parents fought LOL) and to me, it seems as though the father was offering a non-biased rock to help the two of them come together and strengthen their relationship. Honestly, it's probably something I would do, too, because I have been with my childhood sweetheart for a very long time now, and I think there's great value to be had in long-term relationships at a young age. They help develop a sense of what one should get out of a relationship!
2007-11-20 08:49:34 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 0⤋
Your step-dad is great. He is 100 % correct. The advise he gave was necessary. Couples will fight and if they want to put each other out with the first sign of difficulty, relationships will never work for people like that. The purpose of dating is to get to know whether or not you are compatible. Serious issues usually don't cause people to break-up -- it's the little things.
When my daughter was 16, she tried to break-up with her boyfriend of nearly 3 years. I kept that boy around, because he is a GOOD MAN. I screened calls and told every thug that called that if he wanted to talk to my girl he had to come by, and if he couldn't than he had better stay away cause I'd put something on him he wouldn't soon forget. To make a long story short, my girl found out I was right. Those other guys were merely lusting after her (she is the image of Betty Boop). She has been married to that boy I wouldn't let go since 1995. They have two beautiful daughters, their own home, and are living the American Dream.
2007-11-20 08:53:11 · answer #4 · answered by RT 66 6 · 3⤊ 0⤋
As a dad, I can't say I would've done the same thing because I don't want to even think about my daughter having a boyfriend (she's 14). However, I think that's pretty cool of your father to do and it teaches them that communication is a large part of resolving issues.
2007-11-20 08:53:28 · answer #5 · answered by Mike T 3 · 3⤊ 0⤋
If more parents took an interest in their kids and their friends, it would be better for all involved. Teenagers still need direction and guidance in their lives. This a truly inspiring story of a family helping each other to make good decisions. In answer to the question... Yes, I would encourage them to choose carefully and not make rash decisions they would later regret.
2007-11-20 08:54:00 · answer #6 · answered by f1mudvayne29 5 · 4⤊ 0⤋
Given how often people do break up after the first stumble in a relationship and given how many parents encourage their kids to end relationships without working through it I think this is great!!!! Sometimes it just needs to be pointed out that we are giving up to easily :)
2007-11-20 08:46:03 · answer #7 · answered by Opalfire 3 · 4⤊ 0⤋
its not that he is trying to keep them from breaking up, he just wants them to realize that they are just mad and being irrational and that breaking up is probably not what they really want to do. he is just tying to prevent something they might regret and make for a good holiday. things dont need to be ruined over a heated argument. if it was something that had been ongoing and it really looked like the relationship needed to end im sure he wouldnt have any problem with it.
2007-11-20 08:30:01 · answer #8 · answered by blondie 7 · 3⤊ 0⤋
i think dad was just trying to show his daughter that it is good to work out your differences instead of just throwing it all away. he is preparing her to be an adult. many marriages don't work out, because they can't talk to each other. compromise and conversation are things that will help her later in life. i think this was more about a life lesson than keeping them together
2007-11-20 08:47:02 · answer #9 · answered by old bitty 6 · 3⤊ 0⤋
No, if my daughter is unhappy in the relationship that's she's in and no longer wants to be in it then i will fully support her. Why on earth would i do otherwise to make her unhappy? Sorry to say that your dad needs to let her not be with this guy. All they have to do is when he is not around just call it quits. There really won't be much that he can do after that.
2007-11-20 10:58:46 · answer #10 · answered by sarah 5 · 1⤊ 2⤋
I think he's a Dad that really cares about his daughter and wants her and boyfriend to grow up and be responsible adults. He made them think about their actions and take responsibility, something a lot of teenagers don't do. If they're going to date, they need to realize it's not a game.
2007-11-20 08:46:56 · answer #11 · answered by Anonymous · 4⤊ 0⤋