I moved to Texas in July of 2003 and have not been able to find any nice women to hang out with from time to time. I am african-american and the one thing that I have noticed is that other african-american women seem to be very rude, distant and cliquish. They already have their circle of friends and don’t seem to want to meet new people. Everyone, regardless of your race, has an attitude from time to time – I know I do. But in general, I am always polite and make it a habit to speak and smile at anyone who crosses my path. Some people will smile back. Some people will speak. But out of everyone the african-american women seem to be the worst. They look right past you like you’re invisible. If they do speak back or smile they roll their eyes after doing it. I rarely go out to clubs anymore because I am married. But on occasion I will go to a bar or restaurant or something and there will be a group of african-american women.
2007-11-20 07:57:54 · 11 answers · asked by Hoping he will bless me with #1 4 in Society & Culture ➔ Etiquette
I may go up to them and speak and try to spark a conversation and they are usually very short with me, and may even move to another table or leave the area. I’m thinking, all I did was say hello. I realize that some people just aren’t friendly, but I can’t imagine why african-american women seem to be so stand-offish. With that said, I joined Meetup.com and went to an event where there were all african-american women. They were more pleasant because we were in a group setting and had to introduce ourselves, but you could tell there were some funny-acting women there too. At the end, some of the ladies were exchanging numbers so they could network. Certain people were more drawn to others. It was really weird. Eventually people from the various meetup groups that I’d joined started to e-mail me, and I met my hairdresser who is now a friend as well. But even she has some very cliquish ways.
2007-11-20 07:59:24 · update #1
It was this way to some degree back where I used to live. But it was a little different because I graduated from highschool with a lot of the women, and I knew them through somebody else or something. In general I have ten or eleven good friends that have moved to different places, but none of them live here in Texas. But three of them are from my middle school and high school days, so I can’t understand why it’s so hard to meet new people here in Texas. I met two of my really good friends in a club one night. They had moved from California and were also looking to meet people. After we really got to know each other, we became the best of friends.
2007-11-20 08:04:06 · update #2
I realize ALL women do this, but I am singling out African-American women because they seem to be the ones who are unfriendly. I don't have this problem with white women or other races.
2007-11-20 08:05:11 · update #3
Seeming I am african-american, I don't see why some of you think I am singling out anybody. It's the truth, at least from what I've experienced.
2007-11-20 08:10:24 · update #4
Thats a tough one!! But its like that with a lot of women! No matter the race... Its hard to find a new groups of friends without being introduced into the group by a mutual friend... I would try meeting people through work, or maybe joining some type of group! Book club.... anything... best of luck to you!!
2007-11-20 08:03:35 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 0⤋
Maybe these women have the Brown Paper Bag syndrome? Seriously, maybe they do? I know my best friend moved down to Georgia and all the light skinned women treat her strangely all the time, they pass over her when she is next in line and some of them are just plain rude to her. Also, if I was at the club and some lady I didn't know came up and was being friendly with me and my group of friends, I can't say that I would be like oh lets hang out, unless you came up to us and said you were new and whatever, then that would be different. Other than that it would seem like you were trying to pick one of us up! LOL! Does you husband have family in Texas, sometimes in-laws become our friends and introduce us to a larger group of friends. As well as working can to. So even if you don't have to work maybe getting a part time job would help you make some Af. Am. female friends? People just aren't that friendly, and we know women can be funny acting. I wish you the best, I hope you meet some wonderful new people soon.
2007-11-20 09:29:07 · answer #2 · answered by Miss 6 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You mean like white women, Jewish women, Native American women, Indian and Pakistani women, and Oriental women (apologies to any women I may have left off the list)?
EVERYONE is cliquish and occasionally unfriendly. If you really feel the need, figure out some way of breaking into their 'inner circle.'
2007-11-20 08:08:10 · answer #3 · answered by Lonnie P 7 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Same reason some women from any other race or social heritage are unfriendly or cliquish!
People are people -- race has nothing to do with it!
Some might even go so far as to say that GENDER has nothing to do with it!
.
2007-11-20 09:00:40 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
i think this is across the board, not just with AA women..but i do know what you mean about women being cliquey...I'm guilty of it myself. I am not AA, I am often the minority - and my go to line when i know no one is always i love those shoes/bag/pants/jacket/sweater whatever!!! (unless i hate it then i wont even say anything because obviously we have different taste and how good of friends can we be if i hate your wardrobe and cant borrow anything)
instead of these websites, just get more involved in your community depending on what it is you like to do. find co-workers with similar interests, go to the gym, if you have kids get involved with the parents...you said you are married...maybe your hubby has some friends at work with girlfriends that you can hang out with...
don't go to a bar and randomly approach groups of people that are there with each other. its weird...its stranger danger! :) maybe not so weird by you but where i come from (nj)...its weird! when people go out like that, they aren't looking for new friends...the ones they have surrounding them are just fine.
maybe its your timing...sometimes people just aren't looking to make friends. best of luck to you though!
2007-11-20 08:19:19 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
I think your focusing only on the African-American aspect because that is who you want to relate to and be friends with. In general I find most women are that way, and it simply has to do with their own insecurity's. Maybe they are afraid of making new friends. Maybe they just don't want to be friends with you. It doesn't matter because not all groups of women are that way. Try to find people one on one and get to know others that way if you find approaching groups doesn't work for you.
2007-11-20 08:05:42 · answer #6 · answered by plumsweet 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
And you conclude that this is only an african american trait because......????
It's not a racial thing. It's an outsider trying to push her way into a tight clicque.
2007-11-20 08:09:39 · answer #7 · answered by kiwi 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
First of all, it's women in general - we're just b*otches at heart. Maybe they think you will "steal" their man or something. It could also be the area you moved to - some places are just snottier than others. Sorry to hear you are having a hard time.
2007-11-20 08:02:43 · answer #8 · answered by ♥ тнє σяιgιиαℓ gιяℓfяι∂αу ♥ 7 · 3⤊ 1⤋
That's not just an African American thing sweet heart. That's a woman thing period! You shouldn't generalize that behavior to only one race.
2007-11-20 08:02:22 · answer #9 · answered by honeyb 4 · 3⤊ 3⤋
lack of self confidence
2007-11-20 08:04:36 · answer #10 · answered by tuberk768 5 · 1⤊ 3⤋