Was having a baby worth it?

Question

Was it worth everything? The pain, the stretch marks, the process, the psychological strain: everything. I would really appreciate as honest an answer as you can provide. I'm fully aware that the decision will be 100% mine and mine alone (well, maybe my husband, too), but I would really like to know if your choice to have your first child was REALLY worth it. I've been thinking about the prospect of parenthood nonstop for the last couple months and have been getting advice and opinions from every possible source. I'm 23 years old and I've been married for a year, if you wanted to know a little background. I really don't want any watered-down, idealist answers. Give it to me straight.

Just FYI, I'm not planning on doing this soon. I figure it's the best idea to run around and around and around the idea. By the time it happens, IF it happens, I will have thought about it more than I've ever thought about anything. I know that my asking this means I'm probably not ready, and I know I'm not. That's why I'm asking. And about needing a therapist...right. I'm just going to go blindly into parenthood without any kind of thought or mental preparation. Pssh.

Answer 1

I was 21 when I was married and found out I was pregnant with my daughter on my 23rd birthday.
My daughter was born in November 2004. Five months after my daughter was born I found out I was pregnant with my son.
Neither one of my children were 'planned'. If I had to do all over again- I would without thinking about it.
I had two c-sections, my 2nd with more pain/complications etc. & in all honesty the pain I went through to have them- was worth it- and is only an afterthought.
My children are very close in age- and can be a huge handful at times. (Tonight they were both put to sleep and hour early due to nonstop temper tantrums) .. but in the morning their warm hugs, and smiles make even the worst nights worth it.
Having our children has enriched both mine and my husbands lives. We are a family together- its brought our marriage closer. I no longer just see my husband as my best friend and lover, (we've known each other since we were 3) but I see him as a daddy. He takes on the responsiblity of raising them with grace. It matured him and in my eyes- it makes him sexy!
My husband and I have both looked at each other during dinner (with both my kids strapped into their booster seats between us) giggling, and trying to get the food from the spoon/forks/ into their little mouths) and smiled knowing what we have at our little table is the best stuff on earth.
You can never really understand the joy of parenting until you have one.

I was an avid babysitter and babysitting is no prediction to how your future children /life will be.

My children have definately been worth the life changes! I'd do it again!

EDIT: I thought I'd add- while I hate the stretch marks, stretched out belly, the added weight gain that pregnancy left me... my husband still finds me attractive.. and the way he smiles at me while I take care of the kids- or put them to bed - or dress them - makes even the worst roll on my body worth it.

I'm a mommy- fat rolls and all- and still its worth it =)

Answer 2

I would not have a baby until you know you are ready for it, because parenthood is a non-stop committment. Plus, you have to learn how to parent, discipline, teach, love, and be patient with a little person who doesn't go away when you are tired, hungry, or need a little space. It is a huge committment.
It was totally worth it for me, but I was ready when I did it. It would have been terrible had I had kids sooner, because I wasn't ready for it earlier on.
The discomforts of pregnancy and the pain and trouble of labor are soon forgotten, especially when you look at your new little one.
If you do consider having a baby, educate yourself first. There is nothing so scary as knowing nothing before you get into it. Learn all about the different options on prenatal care, birthing options, etc. Educate yourself on childcare and take parenting classes.
If you do get pregnant, take the lamaze classes.
And have a support group. Have someone who can give you a break when you need one, especially right after you have had your baby and you are still healing from the childbirth. There will be days you need a nap. (Everyone tells you to sleep when baby does. This is right. Do so.)
But is is worth it?
Oh, yes, it is.
But it is worth it when you are ready for it. When you know that you and your husband are both ready for it (your relationship is doing good etc) then having a baby together will be an experience that draws you even closer together. There is nothing else like it. (The closest thing I can think of is having a great pet, but it's not quite the same.)

Answer 3

It was absolutely worth it. I can tell you honestly that what I went through physically, the pregnancy, the labor, and the after effects were NOTHING compared to the feeling I have being a mother. I know people say this all the time, but I really understand it to be true, now. I really never realized I could love anyone or anything more than I love my daughter. It is SO worth it. As far as the psychological strain, I didn't feel anything like that during pregnancy - but once you are a parent, there is a lot of learning and adjusting to do. However, when you do make "strides" and you see things working, you can consider yourself a great parent! It is so rewarding.
I will give one thing to you straight (since you asked). The one thing that was really hard for me was that there is a lot of blood. I took baby classes, did a lot of reading, and got tons of advice from family and friends. But one thing that I was not prepared for, that freaked me out a little was how much blood there was during and after labor. Not horrible, but the worst thing I can remember.
However, I got pregnant (intentionally) for a second time before my daughter was even a year old, so that must say something: It can't be that bad!!! Good luck to you in your decision!!

Answer 4

I totally think that my daughter was worth it. I love being a mommy. There are many headaches though!!! I unfortunately got stretch marks which totally gross me out, but hey not everyone gets them. I have a friend that has 4 kids and is still tiny, no stretch marks, and still looks great. On the other hand I wasn't that lucky. Your life at home will never be the same. It will add a strain on your marriage and take some getting used to. After my baby, my sex life was over for 2 years. I had no desire for it, but I have gotten better now. You also have to think about money. Raising a kid isn't cheap!! Those were some negative things, but honeslty I would do it over again. I would have probably just waited until I was a little older, I was 20 when I had her. Everyday she makes me laugh and impresses me with what she can do and say. They are amazing and will fullfill your life!!!! GOOD LUCK

Answer 5

Yes. I have been fairly lucky. My first pg was very easy, delivery was easy. Some morning sickness and I had acouple of bouts of really bad pelvic pain (to the point I couldn't walk) but it was atill worth it. MY first was an incredibly hard baby. She hated car seats and strollers, didn't sleep through the night (I mean right from when she went to bed until a decent hour of the morning) until she was 2 1/2. My 2nd was an even easier pg, but a slightly more painful delivery since he was induced, butit was quick so I would still call it easy. He was a very easy baby and slept well, but stopped sleeping well after he night weaned (at about 18mos) he only occasionally sleeps the whole night through (he's 3 1/2) but will go back to sleep quickly if I go cuddle him for a moment. There are some days it is so stressful being a mother that I think I'm never going to make it to bedtime, then there are other days when it's wonderful, and a whole bunch of days that are in between the two. 3yr olds are hard to deal with, forget terrible 2's, 3's are worse. But I couldn't imagine my life without my kids. They really are wonderful, even when they are screaming and fussing, I still love them more than I can imagine. It was worth it.

Answer 6

I had waited my whole freaking life to get married and have kids. I have dreamed of my babies since childhood. There is nothing else on this earth that I could do (although I do many things) that could ever be remotely as rewarding as being a mother.

Pregnancy is hard. Its not fun. In all honesty, its tolerable, and generally normal feeling until the last month- but that last month is all you really remember. And it is hell.

Labor is like a bad period. Its not bad at all. Ive had worse pains. Delivery is basically "OH GOD THIS HURTS, OH MY FLUCKING GOD THIS IS HORRIBLE, OHHHH MYYY... oh its over." Just that fast. Its the single most horrible pain you will ever experience, but again, it lasts a total of MAYBE a couple minutes, and then you forget about it. Its not bad. Pregnancy is worse.

Being a parent is wonderful. But its only what you expect it to be. I expected it to be the thing that I was meant for, and it was.

Yes, its more than worth it. I'd do it a dozen more times.

Answer 7

I think that having a baby is a lot of sacrifice and obviously, you can't go back to the life you knew after having one. I was 23 when I got pregnant with my daughter and 24 when I gave birth to her. It hasn't been 100% easy. With a baby comes new challenges and a new way of life. But I don't regret having her. I love her to pieces and can't imagine my life without her now. If you really want a child and to experience motherhood then I think of course having children is worth it! I don't think anyone is every fully prepared for the life change a baby brings about but that doesn't mean having a child isn't worth it. Good luck to you and I hope everything goes well for you!

Answer 8

I wouldnt trade my once perfect body for my daughter any day (I modeled for clothing magazines for a couple years) Now Im 20 pounds over weight with stretch marks, and I dont care. I had my fun at being skinny and able to step into a swim suit with no worries. Right now, I am a mother and she's wonderful. Its changes you in a way that those mundane things dont matter and the only thing that DOES matter is your little one.

Dont get me wrong, for a bit there i felt a little regret after a few friends and I went to the beach and I didnt want to swim. It stung a bit and my self esteem went down a little, but a couple hours later i didnt care. Threw on a tank top and shorts and went at it.

Trust me, it IS worth it. BUT ONLY IF YOUR READY!

Trading a major career like that was hard, but every time I look at her I smile.

Answer 9

I was very young when I had my first child... It was some hard times being a single teenage parent...
and it's the one thing in my life that I would not change for the world. It was all worth it. The pain, the stretchmarks, the growing up fast to be a mother so young. All worth it. A hundred times over. Being a parent is the most precious gift imaginable. You'll forget all about the pain once you see that precious baby's face for the first time. :)

Good luck to you!

Answer 10

If you really want a child, then yes, whatever you go through to get that child is well worth it. In my case, it was painful & invasive fertility tests, a year of monthly inseminations in a doctor's office (and monthly disappointments), fertility drug injections, an amnio, a c-section, and very sore nipples. Yes, I'd do it all again.

I have a good friend who went through a long, expensive, frustrating process to adopt a baby from the Ukraine. I think she feels her child was well worth it.

Since you're asking this question, waiting a bit longer might be a good idea. You've got plenty of time to decide if having a baby would be worth it for you.