I've been with my boyfriend for four years. We've planned for the future, and he's even mentioned a wedding date he would like. Problem is, whenever I bring up marriage (which is rare), he gets irritated. We were at a wedding last weekend and I caught the bouquet, only to have it ripped out of my hands by another girl. When I looked over at my boyfriend, he looked relieved that it was taken from me. He mentioned later that his heart stopped when he saw me catch it.
Just when I lose hope, he'll say something that makes me wonder. In the car on the way back from the wedding, he asked me what type of wedding dress I wanted for our wedding. When I mentioned that I've never about it, he told me I should start looking. Then said he wanted to help plan it. He called me his spouse recently, and when I corrected him he said that I might as well be.
How do I talk to him about it? I know that he 's serious about our relationship, but I need to know if it's ever going to happen.
2007-11-20 06:54:11 · 6 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Just bring it up. Ask him why he's irritated when you bring it up but it's okay if he talks about it. Tell him you'd really like to marry him, but you don't know how serious he is because he gets mad when you mention it.
My guess is he's okay with planning it in his own mind, but when you bring it up, it becomes a reality for him and he's afraid. Let him know that's okay, but if it's going to happen, you're both going to have to talk about it.
2007-11-20 06:58:41 · answer #1 · answered by xK 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds a lot like my ex. He was always mentioning or bringing up marriage and children, but if **I** brought it up it would freak him out because it would be too real. After talking to my ex a few months after breaking up, he told me that the reason he mentioned it was because he DID want to marry me and have children, but the thought of it actually happening scared him.
Sit down with him. Bring it up. Ask him about the contradictory statements and feelings. Maybe he is just nervous or has cold feet :)
2007-11-20 07:03:50 · answer #2 · answered by bpbjess 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Look, just live your life as it is. Why do you have to go ruin it? I was in a relationship for 7 years and guess what..he died before we could get married. What made it special was that we were committed to each other and lived life. I had moved in just a year into the relationship and it was a bang. Stop pusshing committment to an already comitted dude. he'll come around when he wants to.
2007-11-20 07:00:22 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You've been with this guy for 4 years and you're afraid to talk to him about this even though he is talking to you about it? Communication is an important factor in having a successful relationship. If you can't talk about this how will you talk about having kids, money, planning for the future?
2007-11-20 07:02:13 · answer #4 · answered by J F 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It sounds to me like he is trying to throw you off. That way he can catch you off guard when he proposes.
If that isn't the case (and you know it isn't), you need to sit him down and ask him straight up. I know guys don't like to talk about it, unless its on their own terms. My husband asked me to marry him.. and then when I set a date, he looked like a deer in headlights. Guys are just weird like that.
2007-11-20 06:59:12 · answer #5 · answered by Just Tryin' to Help 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Pie. Talk to him about it with PIE!
2007-11-20 06:58:33 · answer #6 · answered by cry_wolf 4 · 2⤊ 1⤋