My mother thinks I am selling myself short by dating a man who looks at porn.?

Question

Me and my boyfriend have dated off and on for over two years now. At first it was nothing serious, but at the beginning of last year it got more intense. We were very much in love with each other, but we weren't quite mature enough to handle dealing with problems. We held a lot in and I caught him downloading pornography onto his computer, something he promised he wouldn't do anymore, and I broke up with him over it. I was really hurt that he would look at it in general. I shared this with my mother and she was proud of me for getting away from a relationship where pornography was involved. This past few weeks I have been seeing him again, and I still feel very strongly for him. I want my mother to be involved in my life, so i told her about my feelings and wanting to get back together with him. She told me that she felt sorry for me and like I was selling myself short by staying with a man who looked and pornography. Then she told me that she was never going to accept him or love him

Answer 1

all guys look at porn!!! even your dad!

Answer 2

You may have the best interests of others at heart, but there is no easy way to do what you want to do. If authorities acted on every anonymous tip they got, we would have a police state. Plus do consider that years ago only those driven by extremely prurient desires would go to the extremes necessary to get kiddie porn. Now, with everything so available, even people with just an idle curiosity may visit websites that have kiddie porn. They may not even realize they are instant criminals. I am not saying it is right, but your friend may never have any intention of acting on his fantasy, and what you do could ruin his life.

Answer 3

Why are you discussing this with your mother? You're relationship should only have 2 people in it. Relationships don't usually work when there is a parent involved.

As far as the porn stuff - you've already told him you don't like it. Most men get a rise out of that stuff and most men are faithful. You can't be everything to someone. It's a fantasy and then he turns it off and is with you. It's not like cheating. He will most likely continue to do it but cover his tracks better to make you happy - which is what is important - him trying to make you happy.

Have a talk with him and keep your mom out of your relationship.

Answer 4

The big lesson you should learn from this is not to discuss your dating life with your mommy.

It is true that in today's world, a lot of men look at porn. It is instantly available 24/7. Probably a very high percentage of men look at porn online--I would be more concerned about how much porn he looks at, and more importantly, how does looking at porn effect the way he treats you and interacts with you. Most guys just look at it as eye candy to pass a little spare time once in awhile. If it doesn't effect his interest in you, or it doesn't lead to him trying to make you do stuff you don't feel comfortable doing, then you might not want to treat it like a deal breaker. Either way, stuff like this is **** you should figure out on your own, without involving mommy. Once you go crying to your mommy about a guy you were involved in, she is not going to ever warm to him if you change your mind about him.

Answer 5

Is this the twilight zone?? I am confused! Your mom hates your boyfriend cause he looks at porn??? I think 96% of the male population does this. It's so sad that you all would judge so easily. I think you and your mommy would have a heart attack if you came to my house because instead of getting offended when my fiance watches porn...I watch with him. Sex is a part of every relationship and different people are into different things. If you can't except him for who he is you don't deserve to be with him anyway. Unless he has a serious addiction there is nothing wrong with a young man being curious. Your insecurity will eventually break up the relationship anyways because I would bet he doesn't stop looking but instead hides it from you. It will never work!

Answer 6

Why would you tell your mother anything like that?

Clearly, there's a huge generational gap on the opinion of porn so the only thing you accomplished by telling your mommy was to embarrass your boyfriend and alienate your mother against him.

Not a good way to start a relationship!

Honestly, if I was dating you and you told your mother something like that I'd dump you on the spot and then sign your father up for a yearly subscription to Big Wet Jugs Magazine as a parting gift.

Answer 7

Why do men look at porn? Why would they need to look at other woman and their naked bodies having sex with many men when they got a woman at home.

I'm sorry, but woman acting like men looking at porn is no big deal is denial. A man looking at porn is like he's not attracted to the woman he's with so he's getting off on nasty over paid prostitutes.

Answer 8

Porn isn't like the world's worst sin or anything. What's the big deal. All men watch them at the sperm bank! Lol! If he's a good guy in general, why should this thing matter? I think porn is acceptable, cos everyone has watched them in their lifetime. But if a man abuses a woman, then, that's wrong. That is the kind of man you shouldn't be with.

Answer 9

I am not trying to be funny when I say this, a lot of people that have severe hang ups about porn don't realize the benefits of it. Of course too much of anything is not good. But, a small porn collection and a bottle of wine can keep a lot of men at home that would otherwise have fidelity issues.

Answer 10

That's why it's never a good idea to give mom too much 'non-important personal' info on yourself and who you are dating.

I think porn is pretty common for a lot of people and I don't see anything wrong with it. I'd be more concerned about why he felt the need to lie about the fact that he was looking at it.

I watch/look at porn with my husband all of the time. I don't really see it as being a big deal unless you are addicted to it, or looking at kiddy porn. But an adult looking at another adult in the privacy of their own home? What's the big deal?

Answer 11

You need to look inside yourself and decide what you want to do. Your mother seems truthful with you and will support anything that you do even though she won't agree with your choice. This is your call. You need to ask yourself...what can you handle? Can you handle him looking at porn? Look inside yourself and answer those questions. It obviously is a big deal with you....so all I am asking is for you to think real hard before doing anything drastic.