Why are my parents hard on me?

Question

I just got my report card, I had 1 B and all of them are A's. Then my parents nag at me, they said, "you're so lucky that you're in the US, and everything is handed to you on a silver platter". Then I got lectured by them. That upsets me because they want me to be perfect all the time, I'm not perfect. I feel bad, like I'm not good enough for them. I'm so extra grateful I have them, I know they want me to be successful in life, but crying over a B, that is extreme. Is it because their Asian (no offense) or most parents are like that? Why are my parents hard on me?

I love my parents, and they're smart and successful, but they are too strict.

Answer 1

you should tell them how you feel maybe they think you are not trying but really you actuallly are .... have a word with them

good luck!

:)

Answer 2

When I was your age I felt the same way. I think all teenagers feel that way. Your parents want you to do well in school so you might have a chance of a scholarship for college and it is a very cruel world without an education. You can't become completely independent unless you have a good job with a good wage and benefits. Minimum wage wouldn't even buy you a decent place to live much less the luxuries in life. A car would be a luxury in that case. You need to make at least 50K a year to have the necesscities and some left over for savings, and whatever you do for pleasure. If your parents didn't care so much about you and want the best for you they just wouldn't say anything at all. Be THANKFUL they care so much. They are just trying to give you a bright future, maybe more so because they are Asian and they know what situation you could be in if you weren't in the USA with opportunities everywhere to imrove your life but you have to stick with it. If my children had a nickel for every time we talked to them about grades and the benefits of a college education they might have enough money to retire by now. lol
God bless you and keep up the good work. I am proud of you and I don't even know you so I can just imagine how your parents feel. The next time they lecture just remember they love you!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Respect them for it even if you do get upset when they do. You will be a parent some day and that's when you will understand why they are the way they are now.

Answer 3

I'm going to try to explain this from your parents point of view. Granted I'm not your parents, I'm not a parent, and I know this could be wrong. While I would have had a panic attack if my parents flipped over getting one b in a pool of A's, they probably just want what is best for you. You said your parents are Asian, so just like the vast majority of everyone else in the U.S at some point other your parents or your ancestors came from another country to start a new life here for opportunity. Your parents probably see your grades as opportunity and they might not have had the same ones that you do, so this makes them extra pushy about it. What I'm saying is, they probably figure if you get good grades (I don't know how old you are), you'll get into a good college, get a good job and live a comfortable life etc, because maybe your ancestors didn't get to and they want to see you succeed.

In my book, one B wouldn't be enough to flip out, but everyone's parents are different.

Answer 4

They just want you to do really well in life. Try talking to them and say how you feel about this. It's totally unfair! And your grades are way beyond disappointing! Seriously don't take whatever they say into heart. They just want the best for you, but as usual parents just go OTT -_- . I have the same problem, and my parents are Portuguese. I guess it's because our parents never received education like we have. However, my friend is English and her parents are loaded and she has the same problem. She burst out crying over an A-!!!! As her parents made such a big deal out of it. It's quite common, no matter what heritage or background etc. Parents just always want the best for you, and take things way over the top. Don't worry! A lot of people are in the same position as you. Just do your best at school and prove them wrong! You are reaching incredible grades and you have your whole future ahead of you that looks incredibly successful! Keep your head up! Your doing great girl!

Answer 5

You're not the only one with this problem out there...no worries...I mean I have been grounded for getting a B- in Calculus, where most of my class failed. They just want you to do well, but do not realise that they may be being a bit too harsh. After being grouded twice for a B- and then a B, I decided to stand up to them (mind you, it was DIFFICULT). Really, I had to pluck up every ounce of courage I had, to tell them what was on my mind. Just explain to them, that By being extra harsh/pushy, it just makes you feel that you are not good enough, which in turn leads to you not being able to perform at your very best.
It also makes a difference if you have siblings (especially older). I have always been told that I am not a good as my older brother...But on the other hand if you have younger siblings, your parents may be pushing you so much so that you are a role model.
Bottom line: try to stand up to them (politely) and give them your point of view.
hope I helped!

Answer 6

All parents want the best for there children, they probably know that you are capable of all A's. We Americans do have a great life compared to some other countries so I guess one could say that a lot is handed to us on a silver platter, but only if you set your standards high enough and put enough into them in order to achieve your goals. They are hard on you because they want you to be all that you can be.

Answer 7

You are obviously a very good student and you should be proud of yourself.

Not knowing your parents I guess they want you to get every bit out of the opportunities you have, perhaps they didn't have these chances - but it would be good to try and talk to them when you feel calm & tell them how it makes you feel. If you can't do that try writing them a letter, you can give it to them or not, but it will help you think about how to explain it to them so they can understand.

I know it's a cliche but it's still true - they do it because they love you & they want the best for you.

Good luck & WELL DONE for all those A's and the B too!

Answer 8

I remember back when I was still in school I made straight A's and got awards all the time. My parents were the exact opposite of yours, however. They never recognized any of my efforts and maybe once in a while posted something of mine on the fridge. You are so lucky to have parents that actually pay attention to your school work. Don't let them get you down, and always remember school is for YOUR benefit and YOUR future.
Also, its a parent's duty to watch out for you. I'm sure they care about you more than anything in this world, so please do your best and everything will work out.

Answer 9

It's a matter of 'generation'. They came with nothing and started to work hard and make it to where they are today. They only thing they know from then is working hard and being on top before the next guy runs you down. You cannot expect them to understand. They should love you and support you no matter what grades you get, or what profession you choose. Also its a matter of culture. For example in most Asian communities 'reputation' is everything....

Answer 10

I have 2 other siblings. I being the oldest. My parents were very strict on me. I had lots of rules & strict ones at that. Now, that im grown, Im just your average person trying to make a decent living. I am loyalty and devoted to those I love and everything that I believe in. I dont smoke, or drink, and enjoy the simple things in life, fishing, hiking, walking in the woods, my dog and close frined s and family. My younger siblings ont he other hand had things easy, my parents pretty much let them do whatever they wanted. And now, grown up they both drink, one smokes a pack a day, and lost count of all the guys she has had sex with. i love my siblings but, I have more respect for myself, and everything and one around me as opposed to my younger siblings. I think my strict parents made me turn out more mellow and level headed. Then, my parents being easy on my younger siblings.

Answer 11

Alot of this is cultural and I imagine your life is very different than theirs was. Since you seem to understand your parents pretty well, and have respect and love for them, please just give them the benefit of the doubt. They just don't know any better and they think they are helping you. If you can, tell them just what you said here, but if not, just realize that they aren't expressing their love very well, and its just a communication thing. They, more than likely, love you with all their hearts and know you are a good girl. And congrats on the great report card, good job!!