Small wedding reception?

Question

My fiance want to keep our reception relatively small, 50 maybe 75 people. We're inviting people from both our congregations and family from out of town to hear the wedding talk and the reciting of our vows. But we need to cut down on the money spent so we're only inviting close family and very close friends to the reception. How can i help people not to get mad or feel left out? I know i can't please everyone but i can try to explain somehow.

Thanks to all of those who acutally understoon what i was asking. All of your suggestions are greatly appreciated :-)

Vot Anarж I remember that watchtower. If anyone asks about why we can't have alot of people to the reception i will definately remind them of it too. Thanks so much.

Okay people seriously. I have had enough of people saying how tacky this will be. If my fiance and i can't afford to pay for the close to 200 or 250 people that will be there, then we can't do it. We are going to have to live after this day. Of course I want everyone at the wedding at the reception. But financially it will not happen. That's not to say we don't appreciate the people who come out of town, which will probably be at the reception, but for the people that we just know and don't have a close relationship with more than likely we won't be inviting them to the reception. We are both in our early 20s and we just can't do it. This is our decision and if people that are going to be directly involved with this have a problem with it can speak with us about it. If they are mature Christians they will understand. They will understand they are taking part in the most important part of the day, the Bible based talk. So if you don't have any real advice please don't post anything.

Answer 1

If you could have the ceremony one day and the next day have the reception. that was it is separate.

Answer 2

This is not selfish at all. In fact, this is becoming more and more common with couples. I know you don't want to upset anyone, but the important thing to remember is that this is your day. You have the right to have the ceremony the way you want it, and I think that choosing to have a small, intimate ceremony is great. By having the larger reception, you are still inviting others to participate in your special day. You should not have to compromise the location you really want (the small church) just to accommodate more guests, if that is not what YOU want to do. As a compromise, you could have a video made of your ceremony and show it at the reception, so that others feel that they were a part of your big day. The bottom line is that it needs to be about you and your fiance celebrating the love you have for one another in the way you choose. If it's small and intimate, then that decision is yours to make. There is always going to be decisions in the wedding planning process that not everyone agrees with, whether the ceremony is big or small. The important thing to remember is that you and your groom-to-be are happy.

Answer 3

Congratulations. I for one applaud your practical wisdom and would not feel snubbed if I was not invited to the reception of someone in my congregation. It happens. Of course if the wedding is held at the KH, then it is open to the public and anyone can attend and benefit from the Bible-based talk. Some of my Bible students have found such weddings very enlightening and enjoyable. I sometimes think that this is the reason some do feel left out, since anyone can attend the wedding and there is no distinction between those invited and those not invited.
Know that some will feel left out despite the counsel we have received from the faithful slave on this and your reminding them of it might only serve to irritate them further. No explanation is necessary about who is and isn't invited. If someone asks, just say "We're having a very small reception since this is what we can afford". Your brothers and sisters do love you and wish you well. The ones who feel left out will get over it quickly. We have many more important matters to occupy our time and attention.

Answer 4

Here's some ways to cut back on your guest list . .

Have an "adults only" reception.

Only invite your Aunts, Uncles, and cousins that you have seen or talked to or had a personal relationship with in the last two years.

Only invite those friends that you have seen or spent time with or talked to in the last two years.

Only invite your managers and/or co-workers that you socialize with "after working hours."

There will always be people who feel angry or disappointed or bewildered because they were not invited to your wedding reception, and to be honest with you there is very little that you can do about it.

Just keep in mind, those people who are invited to your wedding ceremony BUT not to your reception may not give you a wedding gift . . or it will be something small or inexpensive or insignificant because they feel cheated.

Answered by: A Certified wedding specialist / A Professional bridal consultant / A Wedding ceremony officiant

Answer 5

My niece is getting married on Feb 23rd. The whole congregation is invited to the wedding, thankfully her fiance is is now in our congregation and was originally from another state. So he won't have that many coming.

I know that in her situation, the whole congregation is invited to the wedding and some friends from the other congregation. But the reception is by invitation only. So there is only the need to send an invitation to those who are invited to attend the wedding and the reception. Most people understand with so many friends, only so many are going to fit at the reception hall. You can't really worry about it. If anyone asks, just let them know your reason for keeping it small.

Answer 6

If you want a small reception then you need to have a small wedding as well. People from your congregations understand the cost of a wedding and will understand that you can't afford to feed so many people. Only the 50 or 75 people at the reception should be at the wedding.

Answer 7

When I go to a wedding I go because I want to share in the love of the wonderful couple & I give a gift because i want to not because I want to be fed!
I feel the same if i was invited to a wedding only or both!

You could have a cake & punch reception with everyone but if you wanted to dinner that night with family close friends and out of towners!

Answer 8

Consider doing a "potluck" type of reception. I did this and it worked wonderfully. Plan on providing the cake, drinks, and some food and then ask your guests to bring at least one dish to the "potluck". You'd be surprised at how willing people will be to do this and how much fun it is. I don't think I could've asked for a better reception.
We also couldn't afford a reception and were going to just have a little party for some close friends and family members. When we told one of friends/neighbors about that. She INSISTED on taking over and giving us a reception.

The "potluck" idea was hers and she made calls to all of our neighbors and got them in on it; she had my sister call the family and friends. And while I was out running errands they took care of every last detail. I didn't know what to expect when I came back from the church... But I was pleasantly surprised to see that they had given my home a quickie makeover and it was decorated.

I've never forgotten the kindness of that woman or that of our neighbors, family, and friends. And to be honest, I'd rather have those memories any day, rather than look back on having spent an enormous amount of money on something we could not afford to. In the end.... I think all were happy.

Answer 9

Congratulations on your upcoming wedding sister.
As far as your question goes, just be honest and say exactly what you told us.
Congregation members should have enough insight to understand that times are hard for just about everybody these days and therefore they shouldn't take offense.......those who do are not mature Christians. And I say that because they have not trained their power of reasoning on all things.

We have had several congregation weddings and all were invited to the WEDDING, but it was made clear that as much as the young couples wanted too, finances did not permit them to invite all the reception. Those of us who didn't attend the reception understood clearly.

Don't worry so much dear, just enjoy your day along with your close friends and family. Agape.

Answer 10

I am in the same boat. We are just inviting who we can and than sending out announcements after the wedding saying that we got married in a small intimate wedding and now live at this address.

The way we cut the list down was we looked at who we realistically thought would come to the wedding. Than we made a back up list of who might come but not sure. That way when we get the response cards back and if we get some nos we can send out the 2nd set of invites.

Answer 11

My dad was in a similar situation when he remarried... here's what he did:

After the wedding, he and his wife had a cake, punch, and appetizers reception at the ceremony venue (downstairs in the church fellowship hall). It was very inexpensive -- his family made all the food. Everyone who came to the ceremony was included in this reception.

Later that night, the bride and groom hosted a dinner at a fancy restaurant for close family, very close friends, and out-of-town guests. By limiting the number of people included in this dinner, they were able to have an inexpensive reception for everyone and the fancy reception they really wanted -- all for a very affordable price.

One important point regarding out-of-town guests: If someone thinks you are important enough to travel from out of town to attend your wedding, you should think they are important enough to invite to your second, fancier reception.