My best friend is an amazing mother, friend, and person. She is outgoing, dedicated, and just a beautiful person... but I'm very concerned that she is depressed. I am not a doctor, I can't diagnose her, but she's so sad, has no ambition or motivation anymore. Its gotten so bad that the past few weeks she barely gets her kids out the door to school and then goes back to bed, but she doesn't sleep, she just lays there. She takes care of her children, but not herself. She has a very unstable relationship with her husband and has endured every type of abuse imaginable from him... She's scared to leave him because they have 3 small children together and she doesnt' think she can do it alone. She has no family or friends to help her, except me. I don't live close to her anymore, but we talk daily on the phone... I've felt her slipping and it scares me. If she won't help herself, what do I do?
2007-11-20 05:12:58 · 9 answers · asked by Sugar 5 in Health ➔ Mental Health
What ever you do keep trying. Go visit her and have a real heart to heart. You never know this is what she may need to get out of the situation and let her know that no matter what you will always be there for her.
2007-11-20 07:15:07 · answer #1 · answered by Floating Cloud 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Although you are hugely worried about her, there isn't anything you can do apart from being the most supportive friend you can be.
It does sound like she is severely depressed and her judgement is impaired because of it. She's at the point where she can't see that this is an extremely toxic environment for her children. If kids witness abuse, they will become abusers or victims themselves.
The next time he pulls something, she MUST call 911. It's very important that his behavior is called to the authorities' attention and documented. In order to get anything done about his behavior, there must be a paper trail.
If you can, find a social services agency that can help her get out of the horrible situation she's in. I'm sure there must be a battered women's agency somewhere near her. Even calling adult and child protective services may get the ball rolling.
Point out to your friend that the abuse can only get worse if she stays-- it certainly won't get better. She MUST do what's right for her kids and their mother. There is money, food stamps, subsidized housing, etc. available through social services. The agencies in question will pursue her husband for repayment.
Perhaps you could offer a place for her and the kids to stay while the ball gets rolling. She may need to be dragged, since she doesn't have the physical wherewithal to get out by herself. Depression can be paralyzing.
She needs to get the hell away from that monster, and he deserves to go to jail.
2007-11-20 13:31:45 · answer #2 · answered by boogeywoogy 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
This is a not too uncommon marriage structure. The chance is that he will want to leave her if she allows herself to gain too much weight. He can also see that if she becomes psychotic he can have the children taken from her. As a friend you can help her not to believe in false hopes and the depression will go away. God has given her three children so she will not lose her mind.
2007-11-20 13:37:10 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
People don't initiate change until they can't take it anymore.
I don't know how far apart you live, but if I were in your shoes, I'd pack my bags and head to visit her for a few days. Help her clean the house and get her to go out and do something. Tell her how you feel and what you can do to help her, if you are in a position to do so. She's probably depressed because she sees no options and feels she has no control over the situation. She needs to know that she does.
2007-11-20 13:26:32 · answer #4 · answered by Sandy Sandals 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well, there's not much you can do except be there for her if she needs to talk. Encourage her to go see a doctor, or you could try talking to her husband and encourage him to get her to a doctor. Explain you are worried about how she is doing and if he is concerned as well.
2007-11-20 14:27:53 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
First thing is she needs to admit she has a problem or nothing or no one can help her. That's the first step. You might need to Baker act her into treatment for her kids sake.
2007-11-20 13:23:06 · answer #6 · answered by Christopher D 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
sadly, i do not think you can help someone who will not help themselves. fortunately, she has one friend in you that has not given up. generally, abusers work very hard at cutting the abused off from all of their support. keep trying to get her to help herself. it does not sound as if there is a network of others to help. best of luck. jd
2007-11-20 13:19:19 · answer #7 · answered by Jd S 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Dear Sister,
Your friend needs prayer! I'm wondering if she knows the Lord Jesus as her Savior? Dear friend God loves you and your friend
and wants very much to heal her. All you have to do is believe that Jesus died on the cross for your sins and is alive today seated at the right hand of God. If you believe this then ask him to come into your heart and forgive you of all of you sins. Now you need to get into a good church and one that teaches the Bible and nothing BUT the BIBLE!!! Sweetie you and your friend just need the Lord. His word says " and by his Stripes we were healed! Just ask and believe. HE IS KNOCKING ON
THE DOOR TO YOUR HEART! Call on the name Jesus!
Your Sister in Christ Jesus, Tree :)
2007-11-20 13:31:15 · answer #8 · answered by treeo 1 · 0⤊ 2⤋
id find her family talk to them
i talk with her about seing someone to get check
but it hard when they dont want to do it
2007-11-20 16:09:54 · answer #9 · answered by 10tolife 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋