me and my boyfriend of a year get into alot of arguements...most of them are because i think he doesnt show me e loves me.. yet he says he does... ive asked him to show me anytime we argue and he says he'll try harder, And what i mean by showing it is to do "cute" things or take me out... or atleast doing something i dont have to ask him to do.. how do i get him to understand what i mean???
2007-11-20 04:14:52 · 14 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
i do... i do everything i can posibly do for him, like for valintines day i got him a card, 2 concert tickets, teddy bear, and a rose... all he did for me was try and take me to a bar....
2007-11-20 04:22:49 · update #1
stop trying to change him, either except him for who he is or find someone else who is more suited to you
2007-11-20 04:19:43 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hey now. Most every guy (with a few exceptions) do exactly what he does.
Does he love you? Yes. He loves you enough to think that you at least know that. Now that IS a big compliment, to think that the the love is there, just like the earth is not flat. To us guys, that is just the way it is. We don't need any proof, because we know it.
The problem is many times that the male/female difference leads to misunderstanding. The female feels cheated. And the guy feels likes he is being put upon unfairly
And before anyone jumps on this answer? That is the way of it for most guys.
What if he says that you must understand football and be able to memorize his teams players, to show that you love him? That would be pretty stupid, right?
Guys are just not wired into constantly showing what he already feels. And thinks that you feel too.
It's when he starts missing out on dates, weeks, shows up with another lady calling him on the cell phone. That is showing that he doesn't love you. Big time.
Guys are made different from girls. Vive la difference! If a man was to be the same as a girl in everything he did? Yikes!
I have never met a woman yet that doesn't feel that she isn't being slighted by her bo friend, husband, etc. Until they get the idea.
Men do not show love by constantly proving it. They prove love by being there for you.
Now, if he isn't there for you during hard times? Then he isn't your boyfriend. Then he is a user.
Don't try to make him over in your image. If he doesn't want to be 'female minded,' he won't be. If you force him to be?
Then that is a false front. And would you want to live with a false front?
Hang in there, gal! Just because he won't cave doesn't make him less of a man. That just proves that he IS a man!
Girls = flowers. Statements. Outward signs of affection. Which anyone can get for them, without really being in love with you.
Men (real men) = One that is with you throiugh thick and thin.
Which would you rather have? The way he is or the way you want to make him over?
Of course, he always could go your way. And be utterly bummed all of the time.
That is up to you.
2007-11-20 04:37:31 · answer #2 · answered by The_Pet_Ponderer 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I just took a marriage course and this is one of the main problems in marriages - the way you show love to each other.
You need to discuss what makes you feel loved. It might be tough to get a guy to listen at first but set aside some time without people or TV or anything to get in the way. The goal should be to both communicate your love in a way that makes the other happy - it seems weird but it has worked for many people.
Gary Chapman wrote a book called "the 5 Love Languages" which addresses issues like this. It took me a while to listen to my wife about this.
I'll add a source link for a test you can take. Good luck - if you love eachother and care to try, it should all work out.
2007-11-20 04:28:26 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
This could mean one of two things and only you can know which it is. The first is that you need to be more patient with him and let him know how to show his love. The second is that it simply isn't meant to be. Perhaps you can be good friends but if he's not doing it for you, it may be time to back off. Good luck.
2007-11-20 04:21:47 · answer #4 · answered by olleicua 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think you might as well give it up. You can't badger someone into expressing feelings for you, even if he actually /has/ such feelings, he won't be honestly expressing them, just trying to keep you from getting mad at him again.
Different people have different ways of expressing themselves. Some express even deep emotion only rarely, others express affection frequently, even when it's not that sincere.
2007-11-20 04:21:33 · answer #5 · answered by B.Kevorkian 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Moose - he's a man, you should understand that as men we have different needs to women, understand this, respect it and when you next think 'I need him to be nice to me' turn it around, go grab him a beer, give him a neck rub and maybe more.. Your relationship will flourish if you follow this advice, you should also pass it on to all your friends.
2007-11-20 04:21:20 · answer #6 · answered by Jimbo 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't nag him. Ever. Be incredibly loving to him and ask if someday if he would tell you how special you are. Leave it at that. There is no way any guy would want to lose a gem like that! And if he does, he will miss you.
2007-11-20 04:21:16 · answer #7 · answered by Neil 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
SHOW him what you mean, teach by example. Love is a two way street. Do you do "cute" things for him?
2007-11-20 04:18:15 · answer #8 · answered by Tyler Y 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
it is the guys job i believe but...try planning a few dates and fun things yourself, show him what you want him to do.
Sometimes guys need to be trained lol =P
(and yes i know that im a guy)
2007-11-20 04:19:24 · answer #9 · answered by TM 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Yea I know what you mean, it's exactly the same in my relationship, but the other way around. She never goes out or commits at all, it's freakin annoyin. I dunno, but if you find out give us a shout.
2007-11-20 04:21:37 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋