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2007-11-20 03:52:48 · 42 answers · asked by Anonymous in Entertainment & Music Jokes & Riddles

Kelly J: Come on, I wanted you to use your imagination.

2007-11-20 04:22:43 · update #1

42 answers

because I say so.

2007-11-20 03:54:50 · answer #1 · answered by Jon C 4 · 1 0

The chicken did not cross the road. The road moved. The chicken quite sensibly stayed exactly where she was. Moving roads are dangerous and it's best to freeze solid when they kove in case they notice you and gobble you up. After the road got tired of moving, it happened that the chicken was on the other side. That's all there was to it.

2007-11-20 04:01:09 · answer #2 · answered by Always Hopeful 6 · 1 0

Plato: For the greater good.

Karl Marx: It was a historical inevitability.

Machiavelli: So that its subjects will view it with admiration,
as a chicken which has the daring and courage to
boldly cross the road, but also with fear, for whom
among them has the strength to contend with such a
paragon of avian virtue? In such a manner is the
princely chicken's dominion maintained.

Hippocrates: Because of an excess of light pink gooey stuff in its
pancreas.

Jacques Derrida: Any number of contending discourses may be discovered
within the act of the chicken crossing the road, and
each interpretation is equally valid as the authorial
intent can never be discerned, because structuralism
is DEAD, DAMMIT, DEAD!

Thomas de Torquemada: Give me ten minutes with the chicken and I'll find out.

Timothy Leary: Because that's the only kind of trip the Establishment
would let it take.

Douglas Adams: Forty-two.

Nietzsche: Because if you gaze too long across the Road, the Road
gazes also across you.

Oliver North: National Security was at stake.

B.F. Skinner: Because the external influences which had pervaded its
sensorium from birth had caused it to develop in such a
fashion that it would tend to cross roads, even while
believing these actions to be of its own free will.

Carl Jung: The confluence of events in the cultural gestalt
necessitated that individual chickens cross roads at
this historical juncture, and therefore
synchronicitously brought such occurrences into being.

Jean-Paul Sartre: In order to act in good faith and be true to itself, the chicken found it necessary to cross the road.
Ludwig Wittgenstein: The possibility of "crossing" was encoded into the objects "chicken" and "road", and circumstances cameinto being which caused the actualization of this potential occurrence.
Albert Einstein: Whether the chicken crossed the road or the road crossed the chicken depends upon your frame of reference.
Aristotle: To actualize its potential.
Buddha: If you ask this question, you deny your own chicken- nature.
Howard Cosell: It may very well have been one of the most astonishing events to grace the annals of history. An historic,unprecedented avian biped with the temerity to attempt such an herculean achievement formerly relegated to homo sapien pedestrians is truly a remarkable occurence.
Darwin: It was the logical next step after coming down from the trees.
Emily Dickinson: Because it could not stop for death.
Epicurus: For fun.
Ralph Waldo Emerson: It didn't cross the road; it transcended it.
Johann von Goethe: The eternal hen-principle made it do it.
Ernest Hemingway: To die. In the rain.
Werner Heisenberg: We are not sure which side of the road the chicken was on, but it was moving very fast.
David Hume: Out of custom and habit.
Jack Nicholson: 'Cause it (censored) wanted to. That's the (censored) reason.
Pyrrho the Skeptic: What road?
John Sununu: The Air Force was only too happy to provide thetransportation, so quite understandably the chickenavailed himself of the opportunity.

The Sphinx: You tell me.
Mr. T: If you saw me coming you'd cross the road too!
Henry David Thoreau: To live deliberately ... and suck all the marrow out of life.
Mark Twain: The news of its crossing has been greatly exaggerated.
Molly Yard: It was a hen!
Zeno of Elea: To prove it could never reach the other side.
Chaucer: So priketh hem nature in hir corages.
Wordsworth: To wander lonely as a cloud.
The Godfather: I didn't want its mother to see it like that.
Keats: Philosophy will clip a chicken's wings.
Blake: To see heaven in a wild fowl.
Othello: Jealousy.
Dr Johnson: Sir, had you known the Chicken for as long as I have, you would not so readily enquire, but feel rather the Need to resist such a public Display of your own lamentable and incorrigible Ignorance.
Mrs Thatcher: This chicken's not for turning.
Supreme Soviet: There has never been a chicken in this photograph.
Oscar Wilde: Why, indeed? One's social engagements whilst in town ought never expose one to such barbarous
inconvenience - although, perhaps, if one must cross a
road, one may do far worse than to cross it as the chicken in question.
Kafka: Hardly the most urgent enquiry to make of a low-grade insurance clerk who woke up that morning as a hen.
Swift: It is, of course, inevitable that such a loathsome, filth-ridden and degraded creature as Man should assume to question the actions of one in all respects his superior.
Macbeth: To have turned back were as tedious as to go o'er.
Whitehead: Clearly, having fallen victim to the fallacy of
misplaced concreteness.
Freud: An die andere Seite zu kommen. (Much laughter)
Hamlet: That is not the question.
Donne: It crosseth for thee.
Pope: It was mimicking my Lord Hervey.
Constable: To get a better view.

2007-11-20 04:00:40 · answer #3 · answered by IJToomer 5 · 2 0

My chickens cross the road to eat the bugs in the grass on the other side.

2007-11-20 03:54:54 · answer #4 · answered by ima_super_geek 4 · 1 0

The chicken didn't cross that road, the road crossed that chicken

2007-11-20 03:57:34 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1 0

A chicken wouldnt cross the road he would be to scared. x

2007-11-20 03:56:36 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1 0

To enter Fenway Park to watch a Red Sox game.

2007-11-20 03:56:40 · answer #7 · answered by Let's go Red Sox! 4 · 2 0

There are many answers to this joke.

1.) To get to the other side.

2.) To show the opossum it can be done.

3.) To read the newspaper's "Egg-stra" edition.

I hope this helps you.

2007-11-20 03:58:53 · answer #8 · answered by catluvr2 2 · 1 0

Because the hunter mistook it for a turkey XD

nothing like sum thanksgivin' humor lol

2007-11-20 03:56:12 · answer #9 · answered by kttyboy 2 · 1 0

He didn't because he was too chicken or to get to the other side.

2007-11-20 03:55:58 · answer #10 · answered by drunksurf 2 · 2 0

cause he was 2 chicken 2 stay put .

2007-11-20 04:33:41 · answer #11 · answered by robert c 3 · 1 0

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