How do you handle a very, very, very picky eater on Turkey Day?

Question

My brother's girlfriend doesnt eat this..and she doesnt eat that... Last year she filled her plate with beans ONLY and sat at the table with an empty plate after she had finished her beans.

Am I obligated to cook special foods just for her...?

Taste the Rainbow: One would swear she is related to Ashley & Mary-Kate Olson. I think she is a vegan...

Answer 1

Just cook a variety of foods. If you want, you could cook several different kinds of beans.

Then again, I am of the opinion that most picky eaters do what they do for attention, and not necessarily because they don't like certain foods. And before anyone tears into me, they will notice that I said MOST and not ALL.

Answer 2

You are not obligated to cook or serve special foods for her, but talk to your brother and let him know that you felt that his girlfriend was somewhat left out of last year's festivities since she didn't enjoy the meal with the rest. If you're feeling generous, ask if there's an extra dish or two that you could easily add to the menu, so she won't feel excluded. Or ask him if she might want to bring a few dishes to share, to ensure she'll have plenty to eat at the meal and so that the family can enjoy sharing in with her on this special family holiday.

Answer 3

As a picky eater, myself, I have to say no, you aren't obligated to prepare special foods for her. I would find that embarassing, and never like to put others out.

My advice would be, to cook your regular meal, and not embarass her by making a fuss about her eatting habits.

Believe me, if she's been picky for long, she's used to it, and it's less emabarassing to be left to eat your beans!

I finally developed "allergies". It was so much easier to explain, "oh that looks nice, what a wonderful meal you've prepared. Oh I'd love some, but I can't, I'm allergic."
Allergies I've found are alot less embarassing than, "I'm sorry, I'm a picky eater and I think that looks grosss and couldn't possibly eat that!

Though since I've married, I have a harder time pulling off the "allergies" routine, as my husband finds it hysterical!

Answer 4

You could cook something that is not traditionally a holiday food that she might like. You don't have to cook special foods just for her, but make sure she doesn't starve. You could say to her (in private!) before the big event that she may bring her own dish or maybe give you her favorite recipe. If all else fails, make beans!

Answer 5

While it is important to take your guests into consideration when planning your menu, you do not need to cater to a single individual's preferences. Try to provide a couple of dishes that will suit the girlfriend by asking her or your brother, if you don't already know, what she liked about the beans last year. By making an effort to provide a couple of additional options for her, you are a good host. Stick with your usual fare for the remainder of the menu.

I have food allergies and am fairly picky. I am thrilled when someone takes the time to provide even one or two dishes that are prepared according to my likes. I do try to avoid calling attention to my desire to avoid certain foods, and I appreciate it when the hosts do not constantly try to offer me more or different items out of a well-meant desire to have me eat more of their offerings when I just do not want them.

Answer 6

You ignore the fact, don't say oh!, (her name) are you OK ? Can we get you anything else?.....All the food is there, she can pick and choose.....further more she was there last year and if she didn't mention anything to you or your brother about what she would prefer, she can grin and bare it or not come......It is a lot of preparation for you to do Thanksgiving Dinner, I don't think you need to start making another dinner just for her.....This is one of the reasons the Holidays are getting to me. Just the visual thought of her sitting there at the table acting like someone special who doesn't eat meat and thinking she's so great and making everyone else feel uncomfortable.( Why did you invite her again?)This sort of thing for me just ruins my Thanksgiving Dinner I don't even enjoy eating when someone is there just starring and thinking who knows what...

Answer 7

I'm actually a picky person myself. I don't eat pork, seafood, hot dogs, etc. I eat what looks good and if my fiance' or his family tell me something that such and such is good, I always try it out.
My mother in law once had a fish dinner but she was ever so kind to bake a lemon chicken.
I would sugges doing the same. You don't need to cook a seperate menu for this gal, but perhaps you can cook little chicken legs for her and your guests as way of having an option.

Answer 8

Of course you shouldn't cook special for her. This is a traditional meal with family traditional foods. If she has an eating disorder, it isn't your problem. She can eat prior to coming or just eat the beans. You have many more people to serve who are really into the dinner.

Answer 9

My family is full of picky eaters. My grandmother used to make so much food and I think it made the day just that much better. We would have turkey, ham, mashed potatoes, roasted potatoes, 10 different vegetables, 3 different stuffing's. Its was great. We would have everyone bring a dish.

As a picky eater myself, I can say she probably is not offended that you don't have what she likes. She is probably feeling just as bad and hoping she isn't offending you by not eating your food.

Answer 10

Treating her with love includes not calling attention to her childishness in front of others. But you might phone her and ask whether there's anything special that you could add to the menu to make her feel more at home. If she suggests something complicated or expensive, tell her "oh that's over my ability! What else could I fix?" If the second choice is absurd too, then just say you are looking forward to spending time with her.