We haven't had any alone time except for in bed,since she's been living with us so when she asked if she could go to a pizza party at one of her guy friend's house and then spend the night with bet friend I told her yes. She's 14 and she's a pest and honestly I just wanted to get rid of her for the night, since she's never nice to be unless she wants something. Anyway when he came home last night I had a romantic candlelit dinner prepared for us and he asked about her and I told him she was out for the night and I gave her persmission then he got pissed and went to get her and hasn't talked to me since! What is his problem?
2007-11-20 03:18:57 · 40 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
It wasn't your place to allow the child to go anywhere without his permission. He is the parent.
2007-11-20 03:21:55 · answer #1 · answered by Kim S 3 · 6⤊ 1⤋
This man left his daughter in your care. Whether you like her or not - she is his daughter. And trust me, as a mother of 5.. I don't always like my own! However, you let her go to a guy friends house. Did you verify the party, talk to a parent, etc? Does this fall into the type of permissible activity that the father allows? If he has custody issues, you could have jeopradized his custody of the child. If you think she's a pain in the *** now, what about if she got pregnant? How much "alone time" do you think you'd have with him then? You knew he was a single father when you got with him. Why did you not call the father and run it by him? Becasue you were afraid he would say no? You either need to get in there and be a "co-parent".. without any selfish BS.. or you need to realize that this isn't working for any of you and get out. But above all.. stop being so dammed selfish. And then in the end you say " what's his problem?" His problem is YOU being an immature selfish brat with the intellect of a 14 year old yourself.
You are losing this man, with this type of behavior. You keep on, and he will leave you, so let this be a wake up call. To YOU, he is the most important thing.. but his daughter is the most important thing.. he loves her, AND he is RESPONSIBLE for her life. If you want to improve the relationship with this man, and you want to be trusted to make decisions for her, and maybe even have a better relationship with her.. you could have at least offerred to take her to the party, drove her to the (female) best friends house and drop her off, then you could have had the rest of the night with him.. and still running it by him. He knew that you didn't give a rats behind what she was doing, just as long as you got what you wanted. He showed evidence of being a loving and responsible parent, but going to get her... and he knows that you are not. Do you think that he will want to stay with you? Have kids with you? Sounds like you have a lot of growing up to do, and a single dad is not the situation for you. Unless you are willing to get these reality checks that people are leaving on Yahoo Answers for you, and really listen and take heart.
2007-11-20 03:31:29 · answer #2 · answered by Melissa J 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋
For one you didn't discuss it with him first, and then who's to say what's going on at this so called guy pizza party. You don't know how late they could be at the party. Geeees it's so much you didn't think about that could happen. She is only 14. A party (especially a guy party)and spending the night at a friend's house the same night never adds up to honesty. She is the child, no matter how much of a pest to you she is. Also, if you feel his daughter is such a pest, then why do you cntinue to have a relationship with him. She will always be included when it comes to him. You might want to rethink you relationship.
2007-11-20 03:28:03 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Frankly, you are not her mother, so you had no place to give her permission. The appropriate thing to do would be to tell her she needs to ask her dad.
If you want to have that responsibility, then you should have a talk with your boyfriend. Basically though, when you give her permission you are taking responsibility for anything that could happen to her when she is out. Do you really want that now?
Parents think about these things and I don't think you are ready for it. She's only 14. Pizza party at a guy's house? (sounds like a cover-up for something else) Did you find out if she got her homework done first? See? Lots of questions to ask... ...Kids can get in alot more trouble than you think and it is the parents job to find a balance between protection and freedom.
2007-11-20 03:27:38 · answer #4 · answered by Annonymous J 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You really didn't have the right to send his daughter out for the night because you wanted to be alone with him. That's rather selfish, he should have been involved in the decision. Do you know what 14 year old girls do when they "sleep over" at their friend's house? They spend the night doing and drugs and having sex. Think about the sounds of her baby crying and keeping you all up at night the next time you want to get rid of her.
2007-11-20 03:26:46 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 1⤋
She's not your daughter and you shouldn't be making big decisions without at least consulting with him first. Your obviously not very respectful of his child to call her a pest and say you just wanted to get rid of her.
You need to understand his role as a parent and try and take a supporting decision to that role. If you knew he wouldn't like her being out then you should have not let her go without speaking to him about it first. Being a step parent or almost step parent is a hard job and requires you to be just as much as a parent as her father. Allowing his child to do something just to get rid of her was a complete lack of respect for him on your part. You owe him a huge apology and need to make sure next time you talk to him about these kinds of things beforehand.
2007-11-20 03:25:51 · answer #6 · answered by w_woody 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Well for starters, that should be a "both parent" decision. Maybe he's picking up on the fact that you don't even like her.....which is a big problem. You sound maybe a bit too immature and selfish to be around a 14 year old maturing female, since you have a lot of growing up to do yourself. Sorry if I am insulting you, but raising children is hard, and she will ALWAYS come before you in this relationship....and you got a taste of that in this occurance.
2007-11-20 03:25:22 · answer #7 · answered by janjaley 2 · 3⤊ 1⤋
You should have asked him 1st. He knows her friends longer + you are not her mom or even step mom yet. It was a "guy" friends house besides and then a overnight? I would have been a little upset to.
It is his daughter. You should apologize, let him know what your intentions were and your intent was good.
Also if you truly think that way about his daughter not being nice then he can probably sense it.
Maybe ask him and set up a weekend in advance or something :)
2007-11-20 03:27:06 · answer #8 · answered by Ann 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
"i'm many times a giving guy or woman." it is a area of your difficulty. attempt to no longer be her buddy and be her mom. If her boyfriend wrecks the automobile does your coverage conceal it? Will somebody have the skill to sue YOU because of the fact of HIS wreck? I easily have an 18 y/o daughter so i understand what you're dealing with. that's complicated to declare "no" and in specific circumstances frightening if your daughter is the type to get violent whilst she does not get what she needs. you're doing her NO choose via allowing her to have her way. lifestyles is crammed with circumstances whilst human beings are not getting what they choose. We merely might desire to get use to it and are available up with a greater advantageous thank you to physique of techniques the region. -like in line with probability asking her boyfriend why he does not get a job, or a 2d activity, so as that he might desire to purchase a greater advantageous automobile and not might desire to borrow hers perpetually. I guess whilst her automobile needs maintenance he won't be everywhere around to help pay the storage invoice will he? Be good ...... be a discern.
2016-11-12 04:50:48 · answer #9 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He's mad because she's HIS daughter not yours...
HE wants to be the one laying the ground-rules. He's obviously taken what you've done as crossing the line...
Did he inform you of any rules that applied to her going out? (Even if he didn't, you can bet your behind that he had them in his head) - Not fair I know.. But that may be the reason.
Maybe he knows that you were just trying to get rid of her (Your words) and weren't doing it for her benefit...
Or he thinks that staying over in a mixed group might be a bit too much of an adult situation for a 14 year old girl...
Maybe he thinks you're being manipulative and trying to force your way between them...
Or he might just be an As*hat...
2007-11-20 03:28:41 · answer #10 · answered by Lowlevel 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Dude, you can't just get rid of his daughter because you want him to spend more time alone with you. She's the first priority in his life and she is 14 years old. That is a time when things can get wild for most kids. You can't just send her packing anywhere, you need to be a responsible adult and find out where she's going, if there will be parents there, etc. Sounds like you shouldn't be dating a man with a kid if you aren't ready to be a parent.
2007-11-20 03:24:27 · answer #11 · answered by Taste the Rainbow 5 · 4⤊ 1⤋