3 sisters and we've always been really close growing up.But as we grew older and became adults, we are distant now.My younger sister and her boyfriend stole from me and the entire family knew about it.Well the entire family became real angry with me because I pressed charges on my sister.Well my other sister took her side and was angry with me as well.None of us have talked since that happen.That was a yr ago.The other sister got married,not the theif but the other one and I wasn't invited.She even had my sister to stand in her wedding and the thief of a boyfriend 2.I have always help them with everything,I gave then a place to live when they did not have anywhere else to go.I gave them money and with no questions ask either.Well the other day,my sister invited me 2 her house 4 Thanksgiving.Not the thief,but the other one.now keep in mind that the 2 of them hasn't spoke 2 me in a yr.now they keep calling and wanting to know if I am going 2 b there b-cuz they really would like me ther
2007-11-20 03:15:42 · 12 answers · asked by loretta l 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
Honey, there are no issues within a family that can not be forgiven. You have to let go, wipe the slate clean, and continue on. Learn to love your family even with all their outrageous flaws. Seems to me that your sister is reaching out to you, otherwise she wouldn't be inviting you to dinner. Go, enjoy. Family is very precious and can not be replaced. I hear the desire in your details to do just that. Don't mention what has taken place and is now past, there's no point to it and it will accomplish nothing. Be thankful that you have family and be willing to go with an open mind and an open heart. Happy Thanksgiving to you and your family.
2007-11-20 03:24:17 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It sounds like they've gotten to a place where they're ready to put the past behind them and move forward. Are you there yet? This all happened over a year ago. How long do you intend to hold onto the past and how is that serving you?
Understandably you're hurt about having money stolen from you and then being rejected by your family for taking action to prosecute. Everyone had their own reactions to what happened. Now, they would really like you to see you again. It's possible they miss the closeness you all used to have. It's possible the younger sister has done some growing up and realized the bad influence the boyfriend had on her. If you don't go you may never know. It's possible they want to apologize for the way they treated you at the time. Are you willing to forgive them and yourself and move forward so you can repair the relationship you used to have with your sisters?
You're the only one who can answer whether or not you should go for dinner. Follow your instincts. Think about how you would like things to be. Think about what's holding you back from going. Think about what it might be like if you go. Think about what Thanksgiving is all about. You have the answer. Just follow your intution.
2007-11-20 12:11:48 · answer #2 · answered by innerradiancecoaching 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you think they are trying to make things right and patch things up with you, I think it would be an excellent opportunity to do so. Besides, it's nearing Christmas, and the holidays are a time for family and friends and loved ones. Granted they treated you bad, but who are we to hold grudges especially when it comes to family.
I would say be the bigger person in this situation. Yeah they weren't being very "family," don't stoop to their level. Then again, don't allow them to step all over you like a doormat, either.
Go over and after you've all eaten and whatnot and things are cooling down, have a talk with them and let them know how hurt you are that you were considering not even coming to dinner. I think you deserve a chance to be heard and to get it all off your chest (if you haven't done so already..). It's awful that you were left out the way you have been, despite your giving nature to provide them a place to stay in their time of need, and I'm sorry you had to go through that.. and still are.
Just put your differences aside for now. It means something that she invited you over. Use it to your advantage. Good luck with whatever you decide to do.. =)
2007-11-20 11:27:25 · answer #3 · answered by iammai 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Be the bigger person here. You did what you had to do. Your family could have helped sort it all out before it went that far. Still, your sister has taken the first step. Put it in the past. There will come a time when you can calmly talk it out without another major blowup. Thanksgiving, a time to be thankful, isn't the time. Go, enjoy.
2007-11-20 12:01:11 · answer #4 · answered by Lady G 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you want to try to mend things with your family, then go. This may be their way of saying "Let's forgive each other & move forward."
If you are driving yourself - then you always have a way to leave. If things get tense or verbal, etc... Just get up & excuse yourself & go home! It's not like you HAVE to stay if things turn sour.
Hope things work out for you!! Just be calm & level headed. Be friendly & loving. You can't change the way other people will be, but you can control your own actions & emotions. So, if they show you love & affection - give it right back. If they start acting nasty, don't bite. Just be pleasant, thank them for inviting you & leave immediately. Just don't participate in any arguments or fighting (if it goes that direction!) - it will just make things worse for everyone involved.
2007-11-20 11:27:35 · answer #5 · answered by Rue 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I personally would go. Why? because family is very important. Try to mend bridges where you can.
I find no fault with you for pressing charges. You did what you thought was right. I may not have done it but I would have loved to have had a friend like you who stood up for her beliefs! I find it shameful that your family took her side in this matter. You know sometimes it is best to not dwell on such things. I was always trying to make my family happy. Always putting them first. And it was putting a strain on my mental health. Finally I cut them loose. Knowing they are adults and I will always be there for them but that my family now comes first. But in times of trouble I will always be there for them.
If I were you I would tell them how you truly feel. Do not get mad or angry just be honest. Tell them that you will always be there for them but you expect them to treat you like they should and stealing is not right and is a stab to the back to all that you have done for them. Tell them truthfully. get it off your chest. It will make you feel better and hopefully it will get them to understand that they were in the wrong.
2007-11-20 11:29:46 · answer #6 · answered by Sandra R 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Go! Sounds like you-all need some healing from what happened in the past and by you showing up the healing process will start. Think about it if your sisters both died tomorrow (God forbid) how would you feel. When we see our family and friends, it really doesn't cross our minds if that will be the last and final time we see them. God bless you and your family and happy Thanksgiving!
2007-11-20 11:30:41 · answer #7 · answered by JustMe 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
hello,,the thief stoled your heart too? You who gave them money when they needed it? have held a grudge for a year against the only sisters you have in this life and imagine the turmoil your soul would have if something happened to one of them!!The path of reconciliation is smooth and not as rough as the road of someone carrying hatred on their shoulders. Now what do you think? forget them and let them die without you ? or try out of the natural goodness of your heart to forgive and forget to the extent of having your family back. You can always deny any loans for them in the future with just cause as your excuse.
2007-11-20 12:08:50 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It is time to move past this. You were in the right to press charges. Join the family for Thanksgiving. They want you to be part of the family. Don't talk about the thievery, just be nice and enjoy your family. Good luck.
2007-11-20 11:23:09 · answer #9 · answered by Pam H 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
so sorry to hear your plight dear friend, I had similar circumstances to yours....You know its all about what you want and what your willing to put up with....you teach others how to treat you and you could always take a raincheck on the invite and just send a card, keep it cordial, u know! if you really wanna go, then I suggest you focus on the here and now, if the past doesnt matter or if you cant learn from it and move on ....what really matters is that connection, you can still keep it without getting caught up in the holidays...
2007-11-20 11:24:25 · answer #10 · answered by thatsmissustoyou 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋