I used to be calm but now i just fly off the handle at her. I've tried counting to 10, tried asking nicely 1st then firmly, grounding her, taking her stuff away and all the rest. I stick by what i say and the sad thing is she's such a clever girl and she loves Athletics. I have promised her if her attitude changes i'll pay the money for her to join the South East Essex Athletic training squad she's been accepted into as she's so fast and good at it. Has anyone any ideas what else i can do as i don't want to go downhill anymore.
2007-11-20 02:58:41 · 11 answers · asked by talktoomuch 3 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Grade-Schooler
I don't punish her straight away, she has 3 chances at all times & little treats when she does something extra good . I have the same problem with homework as my parents had with me - change in how to do maths etc & i never done well at school so it makes it harder to help her. I am going to start at her school as they have evening classes on the work the kids are doing at school so that may help, and her teacher has no problems with her apart from talking too much (lol that me all over) I know i am the problem, this is why i asked for help :-) and Try it once - I totally agree with you
2007-11-20 03:31:07 · update #1
Its getting her to keep her room tidy which is the biggest problem. If she was a naughty girl I think i could handle it better but she's so polite and sooooo sorry after all the time &we chat after, asking "why couldn't you just do what you was asked in the first place as u know you'l have to do it" (i.e getting ready for school)& the answer is always "I don't know" I think we talk too much sometimes which may be the problem as we are friends again 5 mins later and its forgotten, until she remembers shes grounded lol
2007-11-20 22:43:11 · update #2
I have an 8 a 10 and a 12 yr old. and I'll tell you what! It is about to get a whole lot HARDER!!!!! I am struggling with my 8 yr old son with the same thing, and you know the only thing that seems to be working for me is changing the environment! I have my daughter who has endless patience work with him from time to time so he has a change of attitudes> LOL. He works very well with her, and I think he feels my anxiety, and she has such a calmness, shes 12 and so AMAZING! I think if you try someone else working with her from time to time and also, I have to agree with the girl above me only becaue, if you allow the sport now, and they see how FUN it is, they are more apt to work harder to keep it. My son was in BMX for 2 years and did everything he could to keep it.
Maybe put her into it and then say this is what you need to keep it. Don't put her into anything team related because then your punishing the whole team for her school work and coaches get frustrated and I understand why. Make it an individual sport, like his BMX, it's all up to what you put into it.
I do see this a lot at that age though, my daughter never had homework at that age but both my sons did. It's good that your concerned about it now because it is VERY DIFFICULT in middle school!
2007-11-20 10:02:59 · answer #1 · answered by darlin 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Talk to her teacher and see if she is having problems at school and meanwhile keep calm if you can. 9-year olds and tantrums go together. Forcing her to do the homework will not yield much good as she will not learn from it. Rather have a go at doing it with her and make it a laughing game as you try to answer the questions or write the essay etc. with her and make sure you know less that her. That way she may get a kick out of being 'brighter than Mum'. Good luck and remember in time she will be the mother of a 9-year old possibly acting like her!!
2007-11-20 03:07:00 · answer #2 · answered by SYJ 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Let her have her sports, and tell her if homework suffers from it, then she will not be able to continue going. When she messes up once, then don't let her go. Tell the instructor what is going on in private, so she will know that this is an insentive for your daughter, she might be able to help. This is a time to let your daughter know that money isn't the issue, it is her becoming a better person. The instructor will work with you to encourage the students, if she really cares about them, if not then time to pull her out.
2007-11-20 03:13:13 · answer #3 · answered by LIPPIE 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
wow i have one of those their great arnt they lol i read through all th answers and Ive tried all of them different things work for different kids I'm in the middle of trying a new thing when she give check or misbehave or what ever 3 chances after that she has to clean something (windows , dishes , bath ) whatever you wont i have found that taking them away from the situation and making them do something they hate they are learning very quickly the diff between good and bad its also working for my 6year old son give it a go what have you got to lose i think girls that age need alot of mum time without siblings so as a reward when she has been good let her decide on something she wants to do with you good luck
2007-11-20 22:25:49 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
My son knows that he doesn't get to do ANYTHING else except homework when he gets home from school. It took a long time to settle in to this routine. He gets a chance to get a snack and everything, then it's homework time. He can't talk about the weather, go see his friends, or do anything until he's done. That's it. If he gives me trouble then it's time to start with punishment.
2007-11-20 08:15:06 · answer #5 · answered by teresa 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
We have had similar problems with our son. What works best (& it really does work) is that he has the choice to do what we asked or sit and do absolutely nothing until he accomplishes what we asked him to do. No punishment other than that, BUT it really does work. No phone calls, no TV, no playing with toys, absolutely nothing until he does the task. Whether its homework, setting the table, ect...
The other thing is, does your daughter have responsibilities other than her homework like keeping her room clean and helping with the dishes? Kids need to have responsibilities, not so many that they don't have time for fun, but they do need them.
2007-11-20 06:17:01 · answer #6 · answered by Jenn 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I feel your pain !!!
It seems like i am constantly yelling at my 9 yo son. I have gotten so tired of it that I started asking my therapist about what to do. She said to give as I get, meaning start treating him like he is treating me. He only has an attitude with me, not my husband. As soon as I started to pull an attitude with him, he started to take notice of his behavior. I mande sure I asked him how my attitude made him feel, and made sure that he realized that it was disrespectful to me nad his siblings and I would no longer tolerate it. I would also monitor her behavior to see if her attitude changes after watching certain programs or hanging out with certain friends. She might just be testing her boundries.
Good Luck
2007-11-20 03:14:10 · answer #7 · answered by my4ccoa 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You're not gonna like my answer: you're the problem and solution. Why do you instantly think punishment, grounding and the like? Punishment is the seldom-used, last-resort of the best parents.
http://www.amazon.com/How-Talk-Kids-Will-Listen/dp/0380811960
You you you must first change your attitude and words to change your daughter's behavior. Or you can ignore the solid advice from Faber and Mazlish and continue to lose your temper, scream and emotionally punish. As I said, the solution lies in your decisions.
Edit:
I re-read your question and you had to add the parenthetical "like most I know" Dear, you have an attitude problem that your daughter learned directly from you. Look in the mirror for solutions.
2007-11-20 03:10:42 · answer #8 · answered by TryItOnce 5 · 1⤊ 2⤋
Forget the three chances. Once she does something wrong, tell her what will happen if she does it again - and follow through.
My Dad always said: Say what you mean and mean what you say.
2007-11-20 07:15:55 · answer #9 · answered by Fanzeeable 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
effect intercession laryngofission quission Thats all different attainable ones... you could not get them from all letters of the alphabet. perhaps you have been asked to locate 26 words with ssion in them?
2016-10-04 21:56:32 · answer #10 · answered by agudelo 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋