Me and my bf have been together for nearly a year and a half. For my entire life, i have been unable to orgasm vaginally. this fustrates him very much, because it makes him think that i am unsatisfied and might cheat on him to "get it". I want to make him AND me happy, but i can't seem to do it. I really want to be able to do this, because I know it would make us both happy. Help?
2007-11-20 01:32:00 · 15 answers · asked by soinlove 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Don't worry...
There are many women out there who have a hard time reaching orgasm through intercourse. The answer however is simple...Try other things!
Wether it is oral sex, different positions, toys, whatever...try it all!
The best thing that you can do for your sex life together is to talk about it.... I mean before, during and after! Don't be afraid to tell him what you want, what you like, what you don't...the key to a good sex life is the same as the key to a good relationship....COMMUNICATION!!!
Once to can learn to be completely free and open with him sexually, I guarantee he won't worry about you going anywhere else!
2007-11-20 01:50:07 · answer #1 · answered by Nichole 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
There are some great books out there that might be able to help you with this problem. It is very difficult for most women to have an orgasm vaginally. Make sure that you have plenty of clitoral stimulation. Have an orgasm before you try intercourse, this should open the pathway to having a vaginal orgasm.
Try different positions as well. Some positions are better than others for achieving this goal. Anything that might hit the g spot is probably better for you. Try toys to see if they might make a difference, try creams to help you get more in the mood.
2007-11-20 09:40:01 · answer #2 · answered by Storm 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Vaginal orgasm is not something that all women can do. You are possibly one of those women. It's not anything he did, it's not anything you did, it's just the way it is. But you've developed a defeatist attitude about it - you really want to do it, so you're really focused on that while you're having sex, and it's just not going to work.
There are things you can try, but the penis is not the best tool to use because of its shape and size. Have him hunt it out with his fingers; he can feel for the difference in texture and size, and he can actually move to the right spot when you find it. One article I read said you should not have any kind of orgasm while you're practicing this, so your body gets used to the stimulation in that one place. Make sure your hips are elevated.
But please don't think that you're somehow deficient because you can't do this, and definitely talk to him about feeling insecure about the fact that he can't make you do it. It just may not be possible.
2007-11-20 09:45:14 · answer #3 · answered by xK 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Ummm.. have to tried it with yourself and your still unable? If so then maybe you should try some self-help books or see a sex therapist if he feels that way. Just keep reinforcing that it truly is not him because he will start to think it is. It is true about relaxing, if you are tense it will only make matters worse and you won't acheive an orgasm.
2007-11-20 09:36:21 · answer #4 · answered by Nikki 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
u need to put urself in the mood. u cant think about and fixate on tryin to c u m for him just enjoy the moment
do lots of foreplay like him playin with ur clit or goin down on you for a while
c u m during foreplay or get close that way when you start to have sex u will be warmed up and it will make it alot easier on him
my girl can c u m within a minute or two after proper foreplay
foreplay is the key
2007-11-20 09:40:56 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
First of all, don't think about it too much or it will never happen. You'll start trying too hard and stuff like that. But try more foreplay. The closer you get to an orgasm before you two have intercourse, the easier it will be.
2007-11-20 09:35:09 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
Are you able to orgasm on your own through masturbation? If so, you may wish to combine that with having sex with your boyfriend. Alternatively you might like to try sex toys for yourself until you find one that gives you the kind of satisfaction you're looking for, and then encompass it into your lovemaking. You should explain to your boyfriend up front that that is no reflection on his prowess, though, and he shouldn't take it that way.
2007-11-20 09:37:15 · answer #7 · answered by thingfishy 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Sex is not always abt the satisfaction .. love him more dat will give him more satisfaction and do not have the guilt feeling. If your boy frnd thk that u will cheat him give him the sense of gud feeling and assure him that dis is just a small thing and life has more to do.. than sex
2007-11-20 09:45:10 · answer #8 · answered by sanjeevcbop 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Have your bf pay for you to go to a Chippendale's Stripper Club with a girl friend or two. After the show meet him alone.
You will see the Stars and Stripes that nite !!
The Woodster
2007-11-20 09:39:06 · answer #9 · answered by woodster 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
do whatever excites you two and explore ways in having great fun.
having an orgasm not only needs peneration but by other ways.....oral is one....toys may help...need to explore....
sex s about learning from each another and exploring what we need....
2007-11-20 09:39:10 · answer #10 · answered by coffee_tea_or 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋