i want to help him and make this work i just dont know what to do
2007-11-19 23:36:41 · 51 answers · asked by J L 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
only if you want to get hit again
2007-11-19 23:39:27 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 1⤋
NO, help yourself. You deserve better. Don't let anyone abuse you and give up those feelings of helping him change. You can't help someone change. People only change when they want to. All this person does is drag you down with him and then he's willing to abuse you on top of it. Get out and be careful so that you don't get hit again. Just stay away from him, don't talk to him, no phone calls. Get busy and make yourself a better life. There are too many goodmen out there to stick yourself with an abuser. If he hit you, he probably abuses you in other ways too. They try to take your self worth. Could be why you don't know to just get rid of him. Go out with friends, clean your house, go back to school, just occupy your mind and soon you will feel relief to be rid of the drag and on your way to a much more fulfilling life with someone that treats you as you deserve to be treated. Good luck.
2007-11-19 23:46:37 · answer #2 · answered by towanda 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I understand you want to help him and be there for him, but that is one thing men and women do. They try to change the people they're with. If he had one moment of stupidity to lay a hand on you in a violent way, he'll do it again. The last thing I want or anyone want is for you to be abused again. He's not worth it.
Men and women like that don't deserve a second chance after something like that, cause they can't control themselves to not hit someone when they're upset. They think it's the best solution to solve a problem with someone. Instead of talking they want to instill fear in the person they supposedly love. When they become intoxicated or high on some kind of drug they'll revert to that state and then you have a monster on your hand. Wanting things that they would normally would talk about.
Don't even think of putting yourself in a situation like that. If you want to help him, then do it as a friend and be cautious even then.
2007-11-19 23:51:27 · answer #3 · answered by shinuyugi 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
okay, if he has hit you before nothing is going to change as soon as you get back into a relationship and fall in love to the point that you can barely leave him he will become abusive agian. He may act all happy at the moment but about 5 months to a year into the relationship the abuse will just start agian. The only reason he is acting nice now is because he knows your not madly in love with him agian. Dont fall for that lovey dovey crap its just a game.
DO NOT TAKE HIM BACK!
Find someone that will treat you with respect.
2007-11-19 23:41:36 · answer #4 · answered by RCPD Expl. Captain Beckner 5 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Of course not, If he actually hits you, he aint no man He's a coward. But if you feel you must take this scumbag back , Buy a baseball bat, I never understood you women that wanted to stick with a fella who is abusive, accept unless he has you terrified. Dont let this p---y push you around
2007-11-19 23:47:24 · answer #5 · answered by georgewarren93 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I took my man back after hitting me - 2 months later i ended up in hospital. They know its wrong in the first place, so they dont deserve a seconnd chance. No matter how sorry he is now, the fact he did it in the first place shows he's capable of doing it again. get out while you can, you'll only get hurt even more.
2007-11-19 23:42:20 · answer #6 · answered by KJ 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Long long ago a friend told me "If he hits you once, it's easier the second time." I've found that to be true. If you enjoy being a punching bag, certainly go back. You wanting to make it work won't matter - he has to want to make it work and he has to want to get help. And if he doesn't, he'll end up killing you.
2007-11-19 23:39:31 · answer #7 · answered by HipHopGrandma 7 · 3⤊ 1⤋
run. run now. Don't look back. Once he starts with the hitting, it doesn't end and it just gets worse. YOu can't help him. We can't help anyone. They have to change and they have to make it work. YOu can't make it work. YOu do know what to do. You are just waiting for me to tell you to get out. I know you WISH it would be different but it won't be. Runaway. Men are like buses, a new one comes along every ten minutes.
2007-11-19 23:40:42 · answer #8 · answered by dallas 5 · 2⤊ 1⤋
If he hit you, nine times out of ten that is to do with his underlying issues and he will do it again. You are not the one to help him, he needs to see a professional and work through his problems. Only then you can consider taking him back. But for now, you need to keep yourself safe and walk away. He has to help himself.
2007-11-19 23:40:36 · answer #9 · answered by Elle Dee 3 · 3⤊ 1⤋
If he's really really really sorry and it just happened once, and he's taking anger management classes and a million other things are checked then maybe. But I'd andvice you to get over him now. And if he EVER comes for you and does it again, then he should be out and reported immediatly!
2007-11-19 23:49:35 · answer #10 · answered by missteatime 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No.
And report every incident to the police as soon as it happens. One day you might like to have the evidence to refer to, but retrospective reports hold little legal weight - you must report every incident straight away!
Yes, he needs help, but you are not the person to give it. Put yourself first this time.
What if you take him back and one day he hurts your child?
Not all men hit their partners. You will find one who appreciates you.
2007-11-19 23:42:23 · answer #11 · answered by Jokin' Jo 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋