He always wants to have his way even when its not the best for us. He also keeps suspecting me and never listens to my explanations. Sometimes i feel i have absolutely no say in this relationship. Please tell me how to tackel this. How can i make him listen to me and understand what is best for us.
2007-11-19 22:46:46 · 13 answers · asked by Adeline Cecilia 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
In all honesty, I would get out of a relationship with someone like that. It will eventually turn into a situation where you are subjected to far worse psychological abuse later on down the road. It could even lead to physical abuse if he gets angry enough and sees that you let him treat you like a doormat. He might start accusing you of cheating when you haven't. You didn't say what he is suspecting you of, but if his accusations are unfounded and he doesn't give you a chance to defend yourself, a guy (girls too!) with a personality like that will NEVER change and it typically gets worse. It's a form of emotional control to want to dominate the relationship and I would bet you anything that he points out your flaws frequently. He's trying to bust your self esteem so you won't feel like you can do better and that stems from his own insecurities.
Any companion that doesn't follow the rule of both parties having equal say is doomed for one of you to be miserable. Relationships aren't always 50/50 because one partner might be better suited to make judgement calls in certain situations, but shouldn't want to 100 percent of the time. For example, if my husband and I decided we wanted to buy a new computer, he would have to do at least 90 percent of the judgement call on the price, make, model and accessories because he's adept in computers. If we were to go out and buy an appliance, I would take the reins with that one because I'm the one that would be operating them a majority of the time. BUT if we were going to go buy a new car, we would discuss it and make the decision together, equally.
Hun, your boyfriend has serious control issues and is irrational and selfish.
If he's not listening to you now, he never will.
2007-11-19 23:01:18 · answer #1 · answered by Chick-A- Deedle 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He is a control freak. Sit down and have a heart to heart with him about the relationship. If he doesn't listen, then kick him to the curb. Do not rationalize by thinking you can change him, because you can't! I was in a relationship like this and eventually my ex started hitting me and I mean hard and leaving bruises. I was so scared, I used to sleep with one eye open because I feared he was going to kill me. Then once I got out of the relationship, he would stalk me. The bruises have gone, but the emotional scars are still there. Seriously, don't lead with your heart, lead with your head. Get someone to help you if you need it. Good luck.
2007-11-20 06:55:42 · answer #2 · answered by hazeleyedbeauty1967 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
These may very well be your first indications that he has a serious control issue, which can -- but may not necessarily lead to abuse. Do not stay in any "relationship" where you don't have a say- that really isn't a relationship anyway. The whole thing sounds unhealty, and he must be very low self esteem to not be able to tolerate another opinion. Consider a split. m
2007-11-20 06:53:21 · answer #3 · answered by *ifthatswhatyoureinto* 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
This is something you might not want to tackle. This is his character and it is also abusive. I think his behaviors are going to get worse. You have to let him know how you feel and if he doesn't listen then that is your answer. When two people are in a relationship, they care about what the other person is going through and if he doesn't care, you have to move on because it will only get worse.
2007-11-20 06:50:32 · answer #4 · answered by Indya M 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
From experience, I don't think it is possible to get t a man to listen. Either they are born with a listening trait or not. Most I have encountered, NO NOT LISTEN..Don't know why but they don't. They seem to shut down, just as soon as you open your mouth. I've also noticed, if you say anything and I mean anything at all, you are nagging.. I had one once..."a husband" and I often told him, he was a damn good talker but he never knew how to listen. When our youngest son was about 8 years old,he told his father...everybody can hear, but you have to train yourself to listen. Good luck to ya...I don't think there will ever be way to get him to shut up and listen...
2007-11-20 06:58:24 · answer #5 · answered by lucylocket7258 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
OPEN YOUR EYES!!!! Is this the man you want to spend the rest of your life with? Is this the way you want to live the rest of your life? Dump him and find a man who will respect your input. Stay with him and you're in for a tough life. Possible emotional and physical abuse.
2007-11-20 06:51:20 · answer #6 · answered by gimme_a_holler 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Get out now!A train wreck is about to happen,unless you are one of these girls who likes to be controlled.I would never be in a relationship with a girl that did not allow my opinion,she would be gone so fast her head would spin for days.
2007-11-20 06:52:20 · answer #7 · answered by one10soldier 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Leave the man. You can do better.
Love is a beautiful thing and it takes 2 people who love each other to make it work.
2007-11-20 06:58:15 · answer #8 · answered by Fred M 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
put him in his place and tell him that you do stuff he wants to do all the time and now it's your turn. if that doesn't work then just start doing your own thing. you aren't married yet. if you do get married it's only going to get worse.
2007-11-20 06:58:52 · answer #9 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You can't make him do anything. You can only change your reaction to what he does. You knew what you were getting when you got him. He doesn't want to hear your explanations. He believes he knows what is best for you both. Good luck to you..
2007-11-20 06:50:33 · answer #10 · answered by dallas 5 · 0⤊ 2⤋