Understanding Men Translations for women. Joke?

Question

Understanding Men

"IT'S A GUY THING"
Translated: "There is no rational thought pattern connected with it, and you have no chance at all of making it logical."

"CAN I HELP WITH DINNER?"
Translated: "Why isn't it already on the table?"

"UH HUH," "SURE, HONEY," OR "YES, DEAR"
Translated: Absolutely nothing. It's a conditioned response.

"IT WOULD TAKE TOO LONG TO EXPLAIN"
Translated: "I have no idea how it works."

"I WAS LISTENING TO YOU. IT'S JUST THAT I HAVE THINGS ON MY MIND."
Translated: "That girl standing on the corner is a real babe."

"TAKE A BREAK HONEY, YOU'RE WORKING TOO HARD."
Translated: "I can't hear the game over the vacuum cleaner."

"THAT'S INTERESTING, DEAR."
Translated: "Are you still talking?"

"YOU KNOW HOW BAD MY MEMORY IS."
Translated: "I remember the theme song to 'F Troop', the address of the first girl I ever kissed, and the vehicle identification numbers of every car I've ever owned, but I forgot our anniversary."

"I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT YOU, AND GOT YO

I WAS THINKING ABOUT YOU AND GOT YOU THESE ROSES FOR YOU
Translated: "The girl selling them on the corner was a real babe."

"OH, DON'T FUSS - I JUST CUT MYSELF, IT'S NO BIG DEAL."
Translated: "I have actually severed a limb, but will bleed to death before I admit that I'm hurt."

"I CAN'T FIND IT."
Translated: "It didn't fall into my outstretched hands, so I'm completely clueless."

"WHAT DID I DO THIS TIME?"
Translated: "What did you catch me at?"

"I HEARD YOU."
Translated: "I haven't the foggiest clue what you just said, and am hoping desperately that I can fake it well enough so that you don't spend the next three days yelling at me."

"YOU KNOW I COULD NEVER LOVE ANYONE ELSE."
Translated: "I am used to the way you yell at me, and realize it could be worse."

"YOU LOOK TERRIFIC."
Translated: "Oh, please don't try on one more outfit, I'm starving."

"I'M NOT LOST. I KNOW EXACTLY WHERE WE ARE."
Translated: "No one will ever see us alive again."

Answer 1

That's really good.

Answer 2

Lol that is funny!I have read something like that before in a magazine.I would post but I can't seem to remember.

My favourite 2 were. "WHAT DID I DO THIS TIME?"
Translated: "What did you catch me at?"

"I HEARD YOU."
Translated: "I haven't the foggiest clue what you just said, and am hoping desperately that I can fake it well enough so that you don't spend the next three days yelling at me."

Answer 3

Prophet Muhammad said " the world and everything in it are precious but the most precious thing in this world is a woman " So to answer your question - The people who would treat women like the way you describe have no respect for Islam or the Koran .

Answer 4

Here's one...
'Just be yourself dear.. Everyone will love you.' Roughly translates as you'll be the focus of attention and gossip from everyone who meets you so don't you dare put a foot wrong or I'll lose my bonus!

Answer 5

You've cracked the code! Now we just need one to translate women talk into guy speak. All I know is it will involve 95% less words.

Answer 6

Funny! 10!

Answer 7

It's too much and too good for me to digest. It's nice to find that U were thinking about me when U wrote all said above and U really got me.

Answer 8

Us boys eh! 10/10 have a star!

Answer 9

that was brilliant
pretty good have a star
id give you more but sadly cant so one is better than none at all
have a nice day

Answer 10

You sure know men!!

10/10!!

And I must admit I laughed at quite a few!!

So therefore a star is on its way..........*

Answer 11

Funny & True ^^ Consider yourself stared!