Am I asking to much from my gf. Be honest?

Question

1) On my day off work ( I work 6 days a week) I do not want to be nagged into putting book shelves up etc etc.
2) I do not want the house to smell like an ashtray, If you must smoke. Do not smoke in the house.
3) I keep myself in very good shape by going to the gym and exercising, So I look attractive to you. Can you do the same
4) Can we both agree that the car has AT LEAST a quarter of a tank of petrol in at ALL times.
5) I reserve the right to go around to your mums house if I feel tired or stressed.

Answer 1

Here are her rules in return:

1) No farting, scratching of the testicles, picking the nose, or hogging the remote.
2) If I don't like your loser friends, you must lose the loser.
3) I eat tofu and celery so I can look attractive to you. Can you do the same?
4) Can we both agree that you will not nag me about my spending habits?
5) If I'm tired or stressed, no sex. Unless I want it.

Answer 2

1) Fair enough, you want to rest on your day off but DIY still has to be done. 2) Agree with you on the smoking thing. Hate that smell. 3) I agree some people do let themselves go after being in a relationship for some time, but the gym is not for everybody. 4) The petrol in the tank makes sense.
5) Why would you need to go to her mums when your tired or stressed? Why not your own? Or to the gym?

You make yourself sound like a bit of a control freak.

Answer 3

It's hard to answer on some of these, not knowing both sides. Without taking sides, but rather in an investigative sense, your questions inspire further questions.
1) Those six days you work come to a total of how many hours? How much do you contribute around the house on your work days? Whether it's hanging around the bowling alley or around the workplace, if you're avoiding spending time at home then that's a problem, a BIG problem. And why does your wife have to "nag" to get you to do things? How are these things going to get done if you don't do them? If you hate hearing "we really need to get these bookshelves up" for the hundredth time, imagine how much she hates having to SAY it for the hundredth time. And if you're making a lot of money working long hours, where does this money go? Investments, equity in a home, retirement savings? Or adult toys? (I mean like electronic gadgets, the latest fashion in shoes, sporting goods, jewelry, etc, not "Pussycat Boutique" stuff.) Both of you can cut back on spending so that you BOTH have more time to do stuff around the house.
2) Did you two agree to have a 'no smoking' home when you first moved in together? If you knew she smoked at home, and you knew you didn't like the effect, then why didn't you say something THEN. How would you feel about it she decided to quit watching TV and insisted that there be no TV in the house? If the TV rule had been discussed prior to setting up housekeeping together, that is one thing. But to bring it up AFTER, and to bring it up as a command rather than as a request to make some mild modifications (like confine TV watching to certain rooms) would be to create a power struggle out of nothing.
3) If you don't like your GFs looks, you haven't made any "for better or for worse" promises not to move on. Either leave her or don't leave her, but quit nagging -- it isn't helpful. Besides, I thought you worked all these beastly long hours. If you can find time to go the the gym, then why can't you find time to put up those bookshelves?
4) If getting in the car and finding the fuel indicator below 1/4 bothers you so much, maybe YOU should top off the tank when it gets to 1/2. Or do you enjoy the "Ah ha, you forgot to fuel up again, you inconsiderate cow" scene too much to take this simple preventive measure?
5) If you mean "am I allowed to just walk away from conflict instead of sitting down and negotiating differences in good faith" then the answer is no. If you're not willing to work out differences then you aren't willing to have a relationship. You may be willing to share living quarters and spend a lot of time with someone, but that's NOT a relationship and it isn't going anywhere.

I'd be very interested in hearing your GFs side of this as well.

Answer 4

With the first one, it is often nice to have some help around the house. Does she get a day off? Make sure it's fair between you two. If you get a day off then give her a day off where you're not pestering her about work around the house. The third one is pushing it. I understand wanting to keep in shape but if she has so much to do that she literally doesn't have time, then either leave her alone about it. You should love her unconditionally and by saying what you are, you're putting a condition on your love. This would upset me so much if I were her, I'd leave you. Number four just seems picky. I can understand your reasoning but if this is a problem for you then your problems aren't that bad.

Answer 5

yes, you are.
1) do you expect her to put up the shelves? you are the man, there are things you should do around the house. You can find time for the gym, but not to put some shelves up for the woman you love. how selfish.
2) did she just start smoking? you knew she smoked when she moved in with you. You accepted that there would be smoke in your life. If you don't like it, build her a covered screened in porch so she doens't have to be in teh elements to smoke.
3) Obviously you thought she was attractive enough when you got together, maybey your constant complaining has led to her depression and lack of will to do something about her appearance. Or maybey she is so busy doing the things you should be doing around the house she doesn't have time to go to the gym.
4) If you are so concerned about the amount of petrol in the tank, fill it up. when it gets a little low, fill it up again. Don't expect for her to have the same obsession with a quarter tank as you. She may be ok with it getting closer to empty (which is better for the car). If you keep the tank filled all the time, some of the gas will get stale and effect performance.
5) I see no reason you should have the right to go to HER mums house. That is HER mother, not yours. If you want to go somewhere to destress, so to another friend's house. Oh, with as much as you complain do you even Have other friends?

Men like you are why I'm lesbian

Answer 6

sounds like you two have major issues.
1. you sure she is nagging and not just asking, and I would of thought that a couple of hours putting up book shelves is no heart ache.
2. Must agree about smoking, but wouldn't it be better to try to help her quit for her health?
3. That is a big no no, never start judging others by your appearance. That is well out of order telling her she she doesn't look attractive, that just sounds like you are a poser and maybe less time at gym might help with Q1.
4. That isn't unreasonable providing that you both stick to it.
5. We all deserve a bolt hole, but RIGHT I don't think you should be quoting rights, just talk to her and explain.
Hope this helps dude

Answer 7

1. Do it when you get home from work. My husband and I do all of the chores and shopping on work days. We only have one day a week off together and we use that as downtime for us.
2. You knew she smoked when you got with her. If you do not like it, you leave --- same for number 3.
4. If you are obsessed, make it your job to fill it up. I know several women who never pump gas, their husbands always take the car and do the fillups.
5. Sounds like you are a whinny big baby.


Overall, I think you are not ready for a relationship, much less living with someone.
Living with someone requires compromise, and you seem quite selfish.
She should be leaving you, I know I would.
Also, I bet you were an only child or their are a lot of years between you and your siblings.

Answer 8

1. do it already, do it after work if you dont want to have to do it on your day off. Probably she has been waiting ages for you to do these jobs if you are anything like most men, you need to be nagged to get anything done.
2. fair enough, although presumably she smoked when you met her so why is it an effort for you to put up with now? maybe you should be helping her give up, that is what a caring boyfriend would do.
3. You sound so up yourself. sounds to me like you are in love with yourself and think you are too good for this lady....sounds to me like she could do better.
4. fair enough, but it is not something to go crazy about if it is forgotten....sheesh, it is not the end of the world.
5. This is odd......does her mum do massages or something? Is she a hooker? Why would you need to go to her mums if you are stressed? Or are you wanting her to go there and get out of the way when you are stressed....if that is the case, you are a controlling arsehole.

Actually you sound like a controlling arsehole accross the board. Seriously. I was once married to a man like you. I divorced him....now I have a real man. a loving man.
You need to lighten up and lose the authoritarian routine.
You are treating her like a possession, someone who must obey your commands. I hope she comes to her senses and ditches you soon and finds a man that will love her for being herself, and lets her be herself.

Answer 9

1) i agree with that, wait until u ahve a few days spare, but do take a share in the household chores.
2)agree, i have to smoke outside wateva the weather
3)thats out of order basically ur telling her u dont fancy her anymore
4)depends on who uses the car the most and who usually fill the tank up, but htere shud alway be enough to get u from a to b.
5) her mums no, as she may feel u r all ganging up against her, ur mums maybe yes for some time out

Answer 10

Rules, is she 12? Come on, she's your equal and having a list like this is very immature & unnecessary.

I have a breakdown for you--

#1--Do as YOUR TOLD so she don't have to nag!
#2--I'm okay with this one. Smoking is bad for you & everyone around it.
#3--Really ticks me off...you work out bc YOU want to...why is she to be forced into it? You must accept someone unconditionally or NOT AT ALL! If you're not attracted to her--break it off--I'm sure she can find someone that treats her w/ respect.
#4--Who pays the car payment? If you drive--you BUY! My Fiance drives my new car & puts gas into it...it seems like you're not wanting to take any responsiblities. Hummm...
#5--I think you're extremely too selfish to be in a relationship. A relationship is all about compromise and sometimes doing things you don't necessarily want to do but you do for the other person. It's a two way street buddy!

Answer 11

1)people do, do things on their day off but make sure she helps as well after all when she has watched you, she can do it herself the next time!!!
2)i am a smoker and i do smoke outside for that reason i don't want my house to smell like an astray.
3)you cant ask her to do that it is unfair, she should not have to do that 4 you it should Be for herself!!!
4)get a diesel they are cheaper it might not be cheaper to buy but it last longer!!!
5)why would you go round to her mum's? why not try to talk about things instead of going away