I made some wrong moves on my first date with an older man.This guy and I have been flirting for months and he finally asked me out on a date.The first date was great we were at his place having some cocktails and talking.We talked about the most personal stuff and I felt close to him.Before you knew it we were kiss and that led to having sex.He was very loving so it didn't seem wrong.After a few days we saw each other at work and it was cool.The problems laids with the fact that now that we have had sex where do we go from here.I don't know what his intentions are and if he wants to get to know me and maybe have a relationship or if it was just sex.If it was just sex that's cool cause I made the mistake with sleeping with him.To make matters worse I called for a bootie call and when he answered I told him what I wanted and he said he would call back but never did.So do men continue to date someone they have already slept with or do they blow them off?
2007-11-19 21:40:12 · 12 answers · asked by Mia 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Look I'm an adult not looking for answers from teens or people that believe in marriage before sex.
2007-11-19 22:03:47 · update #1
The important thing before, during and after quick sex is COMMUNICATION! NATURALLY, you do not know each other that well, so you can't fall back on societal expectations but MUST communicate explicitly where you want this relationship to go! Saves a lot of head and heart ache later on.
USUALLY, it's good etiquette during make-out when it's apparent sex will take place and soon to let the other person know whether you are open or not towards further interaction. I.e. it's either a "no" or a "maybe, we'll see (let's for now just enjoy ourselves)", a "yes" usuallly scares the other person off, even if it's a guy telling the girl, let alone the opposite!
Well after a first-date sex you can settle into either one of these three things:
1) Nothing. Either one or both parties does not want anything to do with the other anymore or believes that that holds true for the OTHER party so they break off the communication. I've had plenty of cases where I wanted further interaction that would potentially blossom into a relationship, but the girl didn't; even though she liked me and liked the sex, she regarded me as just a notch.
2) Booty call relationship. All about the sex. Friendship optional.
3) Trial relationship. You guys are into each other and like each other and enjoy each other's presence, so much in fact you quickly slept with each other. However, because things are still fresh, you don't call each other gf and bf but just interact with each other spontaneously, have sex, spend time, go on dates, and so on. No social pressure, no expectations, just bliss. These are great! These are the starts of REALLY great and solid relationships! A few months later you "wake up" and realize you have been acting like a bf and gf all along and might as well make it official.
It sounds to me like he was debating with himself between 1 and 3, but your "booty call", i.e. a push for 2, scared him off and pushed him into 1. That was not a good idea, you did that THINKING that he would want the same just because he was a guy but you just came across as pressuring him to go into a relationship. It would have been the best to simply have a talk with him first in which you both communicate to each other the way you felt about the entire experience and what your expectations and hopes were now!
OK, let me tell you what goes on in a man's mind. Sex makes men FEEL all sorts of things. Feelings make men VULNERABLE. Men respond in either two ways. Either they TRUST the woman that she will not stop loving him or view him as less attractive if he shares his feelings and open up OR they close off completely, meaning they ACT as if or really believe that the girl was nothing but a notch.
2007-11-20 00:18:26 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
men date slept date
2016-02-03 08:15:05 · answer #2 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Men are individuals. And you can't generalize about all of them.
You just happened to meet a jerk. And he took advantage of you. But this doesn't mean that the next man you meet will also treat you like that. Well, not if you understand what kind of a man he is and avoid such men in the future.
2007-11-19 21:49:02 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 0⤋
I met some guys on some bbw dating sites, most of them had the bed request. Then they disappeared from my world. I was at a loss until I met my man on largesingle.com. Dating is a kind of risk. No one can say it clearly. Believe your feeling.
2007-11-19 21:54:06 · answer #4 · answered by jim g 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think that a woman cheapens herself big time, when she weakens and succumbs to a mans advances on a first date! You should learn to keep your head straight, tell the guy NO, and MEAN it! If the guy wanted to continue seeing you and possible have a relationship with you, he would stop and you 'could' have continued to see each other. Sex is taken too lightly these days!! Start respecting yourself!!
2007-11-19 21:53:34 · answer #5 · answered by what u talkin' bout? 7 · 2⤊ 1⤋
Some guys are really sticklers about this me I could care less. I like being around real people who do what they feel like doing. If you wanted to FK me, then that's your choice, you're a grown woman. If I like hanging out with you then I will, if I don't then maybe we can be FK buddies or not.
2007-11-19 21:52:18 · answer #6 · answered by huckleberryjoe 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
sounds like that was a bad move. most guys do not get serious usually with a girl if they have sex on the first date. and since you called for a booty call...that made it even worse. he doesn't see you as someone he wants to date, but rather a random hookup. especially if he's and older guy, he's not going to be interested in a woman who has sex on the first date. most older men go for conservative women who tend to wait. sorry but it sounds like you might have ruined your chances with this guy. you might want to explain yourself to him, and smooth things over, but don't expect the result you're hoping for.
2007-11-19 21:48:26 · answer #7 · answered by in2you86 3 · 2⤊ 1⤋
No. men usually do not want to date someone after they slept with them. They usually date someone in order to get them to sleep with them. He's already gotten to know what he wants to know about you.
2007-11-19 21:49:37 · answer #8 · answered by dallas 5 · 1⤊ 1⤋
If you were good in bed they will remain with you, if they are tired of you then they will try for a different action. I'm glad I'm a virgin teen.
2007-11-19 21:46:18 · answer #9 · answered by Closed 5 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Mine married me.
2016-01-30 14:39:51 · answer #10 · answered by Rebecca 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋