Is money an issue for guys?

Question

My boyfriend and I were having a conversation tonight about his upcoming trip to NY to come visit me (long distance relationship) and I mentioned that it was smarter to fly and he could just use my old Mercedes to drive around because my dad's getting me a Jag for Christmas. He seemed a little stunned and then acted kind of weird. Normally, this isn't a topic I throw around lightly but we've been dating for a few months and he knows my financial situation. We've discussed it before but he always says he doesn't mind as long as I'm okay with him not having a lot which doesn't bother me in the least. I'm beginning to suspect it bothers him, though. After that, I said, okay, who cares about that, let's change the subject. He said, "Let's talk about Christmas." So I told him what I picked out for his daughter (we both have children) and he laughed and said "Jesus, you're killing me." And then said I needed to go to bed and get some sleep. Which he NEVER does. So what's the deal?

And by the way, I do earn my own living! I have a FANTASTIC job that I got on my own. And we are in a committed relationship. If that helps any?

Ugh! I mentioned the make of the cars because I have been talking about wanting the Jag all year and I was going to buy it on my own (he already knew about that) but my dad offered. Also, I have an Entourage minivan so he would know which one I'm talking about. Another thing, he ALWAYS pays when we're together, I never pay for anything!! That's why I didn't think the car thing would be an issue!! :(

Answer 1

I have to say yes its an issue to him because lets face it the way society is men should be the ones to take care of women. And men don't like to be supported by women, there are however a few who do, but any man who has pride in himself doesn't. Yes you may really not care that he doesn't have a lot, but he does because he wants to treat you well, to be able to take care of you and give you things. In a way to some men, their possessions reflect on themself on just how successful they are. By you throwing that out saying your dad's going to buy you a Jag for Christmas, to you its like nothing but to him its a big deal because in his eyes, its like how can I compete with that. He may have bought you something really nice that he worked hard for, but then your father's Jag just diminished what he got for you because to men we seem to think, not all of us but we seem to think the bigger the better when it comes to things like that, we don't all understand that even the littliest things count. Its a security issue, makes you feel that much less of a man when you can't take care of your girlfriend or wife because like I said the way society sees it men should take care of women. As for his daughter, maybe the two of you could pick out something for her together rather then getting her seperate gifts because even though I'm sure you're not trying to out do him, he may feel the same as he does with your father getting you a Jag.

Answer 2

Bab if you were rich or you were poor it wouldn't bother me if i loved you and we were in a committed relationship! As long as the bills get paid and we eat when we get hungry! Saying all that to say money is not always an issue to some men, but if the woman makes more then she must work more so the guy should take care of things around the house to make up his 50% of the relationship!

Answer 3

yes it does matter to some men, they like to be the ones to look after you and take care of things. My boyfriend found it hard when i told him i didnt want his money because i was making my own , and i think he would still like to be able to pay for things and buy me stuff but i dont like it. Your guy is probably feeling intimidated because you earn a lot more than him and that might make him feel unworthy. Maybe you shouldnt offer him cars and leave money out of it, focus on why you are together

Answer 4

YES money is an issue for BOTH men AND women (whether they admit it or not! and few people do) In order for a relationship to work long-term the man has to be superior to the woman in each and every way (intelligence,strength,experience,wealth etc etc) anything different from this and the relationship WILL fail one day or another

Answer 5

I don't know why you would bring up the make of your car unless you wanted him to know that you have a nice car. Wouldn't it be normal to say "you can feel free to drive my car while you're here?" And the way you discuss money it appears as though it does matter to you. Also, why does a self-sufficient woman living in her own place with her own child need her dad to buy her a new car for Christmas? After I graduated college my dad cut me off, as parents should.

Answer 6

Yeah, many men are intimidated by financially successful women because for decades men were typically the bread winners in the family, and when they weren't they were considered inabequate. They might feel less secure because you don't need them for money. They have difficulties understanding your emotional reasons to want them around. It really saddens me that many good wonderful men look at themselves from a money-making angle while overlooking their personal qualities.

Answer 7

Yeah, no man wants to be sponsored around. It always hurts our ego. We always want to do all the paying and stuff.

Yes, money is a big issue!!!

Always make sure you do not hurt him, even unintentionally. It is a very sensitive and soft corner among boys!

Answer 8

hi There, Sorry to hearken to approximately your journey! circumstances like that are in no way friendly and that they might reason us to grow to be very perplexed. besides the undeniable fact that, evolutionary psychology might carry the respond for you. In 1989, an extremely extensive-unfold psychologist named David Buss studied 37 subculture's mate alternatives. In all cultures studied, females rated economic components to be plenty greater important in a mate than did adult males. you spot, women want adult males who're good at buying economic components. Parental investment concept means that because of the fact women make investments greater of their offspring than adult males do, it may be greater devastating for a woman if their baby starved than greater a male. as a result, that's crucial that a woman choose for a mate who has good economic potentialities and is physically powerful at buying economic components. Now, that could sound somewhat weird and wonderful, yet evaluate this. women generally fee money to be the main extreme element in picking a marriage better half. If a male does not have plenty money then he's not susceptible to acquire and keep a mate. You ex-boyfriend in all probability had a persevering with chip on his shoulder. He for sure considered you to be an extremely suited woman. as a result, he in all probability inferred which you will get a mate with numerous funds. He probable feared that at your first probability, you are able to go away him for a male with additional funds. at the same time as this might have been very far out of your techniques, adult males are genetically programmed to think of in this form. He grew to become into somewhat insecure in the courting because of the fact he concept that he grew to become into especially low on the mate marketplace as a results of no longer having plenty money. He grew to become into afraid you are able to go away him for a guy with money, and did no longer choose to probability being deserted. i desire that helped you to understand his strikes, and returned, i'm sorry on your journey. in case you have the different questions, please be happy to ask. -Evopsych

Answer 9

It can be a problem for some guys.. Or people.. Especially when there not used to being treated to well or so generously..

Answer 10

i am going to be honest it does it makes him feel useless. when you just throw all those money comments at him and don't buy his daughter anything expensive that he cant afford on his own its makes him feel lesser


trust me its happened to me before and i don't have children lol