My girlfriend kissed another guy. What should i do?

Question

I went out with my friends this saturday and she went out with hers. the next day she told me she saw her ex-boyfriend of 5 years(her first) and they began talking.

then she said he wanted to talk and it was closing time so they went to her house(she lives with her parents) and hung out on the patio. she said he leaned in and they kissed a few times for a total of under 10 seconds. only that one time. then she said he slept on her bed until 6 in the morning because she didn't want him to drive home until he sobered up a little. she said that they never did anything other than that under 10 second kiss and he just fell right asleep on her bed until she woke him to leave.

i believe her when she says that is all they did but i still don't get why she didn't turn away when he tried to kiss her. what should i do? what would you do? any help? thanks.

Answer 1

leave

Answer 2

First, i believe you should at least give credit to your gf, as she was honest and courageous enough to tell you this. This indicates a true mark of reconciliation. For that alone, I say forgiveness isn't so bad. At the very least, she had no intention of cheating on you (and even if she had, she still had the guts to tell you which indicates that she is really sorry). But here are additional points to consider. 1.) This event may have been due to residual feelings she has for her ex, which would mean she's not totally over him. Don't fret, I had a similar situation once, but I didn't really mind it, and it all came out just fine. 2.) maybe she is the passionate type, you know, can't resist kisses (but I wouldn't bet on that) 3.) this just means impulses tend to get the best of her will. Now, what I can say is that in my opinion, she would merit my forgiveness. But really, she has a lot of catching up to do. Maybe she just needed that kiss as a sort of closure. It may sound odd but it could be possible. You might get the impression that your relationship is now officially volatile, but try your best not to make it volatile. Try to renew your relationship, make it brand new. At least you know she loves you enough to be honest with you. And I believe she was able to tell you because she trusted in you. And by your statement I see that you also trust her. A good sign of a good relationship.. I congratulate you. Your forgiveness now will let her know how much you love her, and it will always be in her thoughts. Try reversing the situation, try being her for a change and see how you would feel when she would forgive you. Sometimes, you don't need to get why she did things, because understanding is not equal to knowing. Loving encompasses even things you can't know, and loving helps you to understand, even if you don't know. It's a kiss, it's something important, yet it's only a small act compared to her bravery of admitting she did it. To tell you honestly, I'd be devastated if I learned my gf kissed another guy, but my forgiveness is more often quicker than my judgement.

Answer 3

Oh man. That's not the girlfriend you would like to keep hanging out. Depending on your values, but for what your concern is at this time, the road ahead doesn't look good for you with that person and this is the first signs (if you haven't seen others already). A woman sleeping in another place except yours, kissing another guy, getting rid of the guilt by confessing (because that's not to do it the favor so you know, it was to just get rid of the feelings of guilt) it only looks like you will see from now on, more of the same and it will get intense with time. It may be time to leave her and see who else is out there. You should have been important enough (you are-but I mean for her), to just let the other guy know upfront "how you are doing, I'm in a relationship" and put that very clear and since she can see things comming up, she should have done something to prevent it, like not staying alone with the guy, be with her friends while talking, don't talk to him for more minutes than what the situation should have deserve to not to misslead the guy in a wrong direction. And now you are saying she spend the night somewhere else?. Who cares if the guy was the first boyfriend of 5 years, you are her current boyfriend (it's actually worst it was an ex). Why she was dumped or why did she dumped him - any patterns?. Have you tried to talk to a person who later you find out she is in a relationship (even an ex of you) how different are and how much sometimes they care about their boyfriends that they put in clear where they are standing for you to not to be missleaded?, I think that's cool, why don't you go out and find one of those that are so much better. What you are presenting here is nothing but dissapointments in the future, pain and a possible heart-break on your side, same as lot of power on her side over you since she has shown no respect or ignore limits of what she should do and what to avoid in such an early stage. As human and as persons we aer, what happened here is very hurtful for most of the human beings. It all depends who you are, and what you want for your future. There are woman out there who wouldn't have done it, as simple as that. You choose that one, so it's your decision of who you would like to be with. Probably they didn't do anything, but now it would take litte things to happen to do it. It's a mater to just meet again or cross path on the streeet and finish what they couldn't start the last time for reasons that are obvious, but the temptation most likely is there and most likely it will be satisfied and they will talk about it (most likely), dump her now, don't wait for the storm if you already have dark clouds over you and can hear the rain, you don't want to deal with all that kind of things. Enjoy a relationship, don't suffer, a girlfriend should be an allied of you, should be on your side, you should come first and before any other guy. Also don't give many excuses, just tell her up front you don't feel comfortable and you need a separation, if she ask why, just tell her what she did was just unacceptable and it's easier for you to break the relationship than have to deal with things you already decided to not to deal in your life (beacuse life is SO great and beautiful to have to be dealing with this kind of things!!)

Answer 4

Well, she told you about it when she could have been deceiving and kept it to herself, that is a plus. But then again, with you two being a couple, the ex, the kissing and the staying over until 6:00, would not sit well with me. Not to put ideas in your head and not to give you anymore to contemplate, if this isn't sitting well with you, then rethink this relationship, if she did it once, she "WILL" do it again. Oh they are still that close that he can stay, in her house, on her bed, haven't seen each other for a while, and nothing happened, I don't have to believe that you have to. Now what is it that you want in this relationship? God Bless.

Answer 5

Mike,
It is obvious that you love and care for her, but if you are going to tolerate that from your girlfriend, then there is nothing no one can really say to help you.
It was wrong for her to have carried a conversation past the club with her ex-boyfriend. To top it all off, she allowed him to sleep in her bed.
You are crazy, if you believe nothing happened past that so-called 10 second kiss. You cannot really be that naive to believe that her ex was going home with your girlfriend just to fall asleep on her bed.
I wouldn't believe that for a second.
If you are willing to over look her unfaithfulness behavior than that is all up to you. -Good luck.

Answer 6

First of all if she kissed another man besides her dad, her brother, or her grandad then she cheated on you! She probably just told you thats all they did so you can still hold a little trust for her! So you mean to tell me everytime she run across this guy they gonna talk then kiss, and its okay to lay in her bed! I WOULD DEFINITELY LEAVE HER A@@ ALONE!!!!! Remember she kissed him a couple of times, i dont care how many years she gave him- she suppose to be your girl now!!!!!

Answer 7

It sounds like alcohol was involved. Five years is a long time. It is good that you believe her. It's good that you feel she is telling you the truth. Do you think you can forgive her? This must shake your trust quite a bit. In the end your decision must be whether or not you can trust her to not do that again. If you believe you can do that, move past what she has done, then you have a chance. Hopefully she'll see this as a sign of your love for her and not as a weakness. Good luck...

Answer 8

Sorry to pay attention that guy, yet i like your selection to decrease back off and that i think of your ideal by utilising doing so because of the fact: a million) Your maximum probable upset, indignant and usual harm and would desire to declare/do some thing which you will sense sorry approximately later. 2) Your sending a message of disapproval that's easily what you sense. 3) Your amassing your concepts so as which you will make a sensible selection as to what you extremely need. 4) in case you do desire to stay mutually, then your thinking approximately being in the answer quite than the priority by utilising brainstorming the main intense inquiries to ask her and stipulations to point to her to agree on. So in all, i'd do merely what your doing. Taking a step decrease back, getting some perspectives, settling your concepts on the placement and rather shifting forward from thereon. the main intense element is that in case you do come to a decision to flow on together with her mutually is which you will not use this as a weapon in terms of protecting it against her, making her sense valueless or perhaps having a probably deep seated resentment that would reason you to retaliate by utilising night the score. yet another suggestion properly worth pondering, is a few thing I as quickly as study in some e book approximately infidelity. (there are various an remarkable books accessible) It stated as an aleviation exercising that the guy who have been cheated on replaced into given purely quarter-hour an afternoon with the cheater to particular the soreness and soreness felt by way of action. of course, this would not be an oppurtunity which you will attack her yet quite a thank you to disspate the feelings of injury, advance her point of empathy in direction of you and additionally deliver you men mutually greater initmately. merely be advantageous you reside in the "I felt..." and you will desire to be superb. reliable success!

Answer 9

I would break up with her. It will show her how much it hurts you and she'll think twice about her actions. Being that the other guy was drunk, she may have been drunk as well and you lose your inhibitions when you're drunk. I'm not buying the whole "they didn't do anything" bit. If he slept over on HER bed, they've had to do something. Especially if both of them were drunk. I hate to say it, but once a cheater always a cheater.

Answer 10

She spent the night in the same bed as her ex and kissed him. If you've been together less than a year I'd trade her in, but if you think she made a mistake she's not likely to repeat than maybe she should get a 2nd chance.

Answer 11

It depend on ur personality..if that happen to me, i would just say good bye to the relationship (there is no second chances for things like this).BTY i find it hard to believe that noting happened in the bed after the kissing.