Hi, my bf & I have been dating for 5 yrs plus, and well, we're actually thinking to start planning for marriage soon, but something personal between us cropped up, that makes me wana hold on to our wedding plans until we're sure that we want to get married and grow old with each other.
However, frens, relatives and esp elders have been asking, esp during meet ups and gatherings, on when we're getting married, or we've been together for a long time & it's time for us to get married etc etc... All these have been really fustrating, is there a way to "shut ppl up in a nice way" yet without explaining why we're holding on to the plans?
Many thanks...
2007-11-19 19:49:49 · 25 answers · asked by Jean 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
Hi all, thanks for the answers, i'm looking for some answers that are more relax, it'll be best if I can counter their questions with a joke, also hinting them not to prompt further... Seriously have tried the suggested ones, but they've always tried to prompt further and "show concern" (hope u know wat i mean)
To kimber & kyle forever: I'm 25, and my bf's 29.
To revsuzanne: yes, u're right, 5 yrs and I wanted to settle down wif tis man, but as said, something unexpected came up, which, well, let it be a test of our relationship...
2007-11-19 20:27:04 · update #1
"When are you two going to get married?"
"When the divorce rate goes down" (and LAUGH)
I used to get these questions a lot. The main thing is to just grin it and bear it. You don't have to pour your heart out to people when they ask a simple question, you just have to "shut them up" and avoid the question LOL.
Good luck!
2007-11-20 02:12:26 · answer #1 · answered by kiki 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I went through something similar (was with my husband for 6 years before we were engaged), and when people asked that question - which they will b/c of the length of time, we would just smile. That's really all you can do. If someone is aggressively pursuing an answer, I used to say "we've talked about it, and definitely plan on doing it when the time is right." That same statement holds true for you. If they press past that, you can simply tell them that any decision is up to you and your boyfriend.
Don't worry about people that think that after 2-3 years you should already "know" if you should be married. Unfortunately every relationship is different, and people go at different speeds. You can spend 1-2 years with someone before you actually see the true person, or something happens that makes you think. I would rather couples take their time and be sure, then assume that there's an actual time limit on dating before taking it to the next step.
Best of luck!
2007-11-20 01:13:24 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
"Enough" is a perfectly acceptable answer, as is "I could afford it." If this co-worker doesn't get the hint to stop asking, truthfully, I don't think you are out of line to say, calmly and politely, "I'm sorry, it's just that I'm really not comfortable discussing money." Hopefully, THAT will get the message across and prevent any future questions.
2016-04-04 23:45:32 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
We get the same comments. I usually brush it off with something like
"Get married? That would mean a wedding and I would have to put on a dress!"
or
"Do you know how many pictures they take at weddings?!"
I'm not a girly girl and loathe having my picture taken more than you can imagine so it works for our situation. We don't want kids so with my HTB he always said something like
"As soon as we have the dough saved up for the vasectomy"
2007-11-20 00:34:12 · answer #4 · answered by pspoptart 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Tell them that you want to wait until you're older! It used to work for me. Although, you always have the jerk who says "if you wait too long, you won't be able to have babies!". It is the mentality of the older generation who were married at 18 and had 5 kids by 25.
2007-11-20 00:26:05 · answer #5 · answered by duritzgirl4 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just say you enjoy being with each other without the added responsibilities of marriage, and that you don't feel as though you need to rush it. How old are you two? If you don't feel ready for marriage, then don't let anyone pressure you into it. It's YOUR relationship-and they don't really have anything to do with it. Good luck with all of it!!!
2007-11-19 20:19:06 · answer #6 · answered by Happy. Finally. 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Tell them that you will get married when you are ready. That you do not want to be one of those couples who rushes into marriage before they are ready. In the end they have to respect your decision to wait. There are always going to be people trying to push you, so try to take it with a grain of salt. Good luck!
2007-11-20 01:19:35 · answer #7 · answered by vaya 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'd just say, "we'll make sure you're one of the first to know as soon as we're ready" then smile! There's no need to be hostile or rude, as most people are asking out of concern for you, even if it does feel intrusive.
2007-11-20 01:16:20 · answer #8 · answered by melouofs 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Before I got married, that question drove me up the wall for 9yrs! Grrr. My response would be either " I don't know,..why?"
or "Next month, I just haven't told (boyfriends name) yet, because I don't want to hurt his feelings". This one usually distracts people enough that they forget the original question.And last but not least "My, aren't you nosy!?"
2007-11-20 00:24:51 · answer #9 · answered by mysteryperson 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
my man and i were together for 6 or 7 years before we got married.
i had no intention of marrying anyone ever (until he proposed and suddenly all my ideas changed! lol) so when people asked me/ nagged me i always answered "Never".
that shut em up pretty quick.
now they ask "when are you going to have a baby?"
so i say "never". and they shut up.
I say, always say "never" with a smile and they'll leave you alone.
2007-11-19 21:49:56 · answer #10 · answered by chilly 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋