Why do nice guys finish last?

Question

I am a nice guy. I always have and always will. I come from a single parent household where my mother taught me too respect women, and treat them with the upmost respect. I want to know why women go for the ghetto thug asshole over the nice guy. I mean do you think that the cocky asshole will change? Or that you will be able to change him? Is it an image thing? I remember going on a date with a women and I was holding the door while she enter the resturant, she told me that NO guy had ever hold the door for her???? I think that only show the level of respect that she had for herself and I have noticed that a lot of women must really have low self- esteem. Women or men could you please explain?

Answer 1

First of all, there's nothing wrong with being a nice guy, in fact, it is a 'turn on' for some women...

I believe it's because nice guys are rare compared to bad ones that women are not used to being treated respectfully... As for some women, they might prefer bad guys because they think it's more cool...

Don't worry, it is common that nice guys tend to find it harder to have girlfriends but once they do have a girlfriend, it is a long lasting relationship... ^_^

Answer 2

Being nice does NOT give you a licence to be BORING! It also does NOT give you a licence to expect a girl to just fall into your lap. By gosh, If I had to have sex with every woman I thought was a good person I'd die of exhaustion.

But the fact of the matter is, there is only ONE slot for the love of my life. The fact of the matter is that the "game of love" is not fair. The fact of the matter also is that you simply would not be attracted to a girl of sufficiently poor physical appearance no matter how nice she was!

In the same way, women simply aren't attracted to someone who is not strong and confident and living on the edge. The ghetto guy already has all these things going for him. He lives an EXCITING life; he can get killed from a rival gang at this very moment. If a bunch of thugs attacked his gf he would have a better chance of protecting her than a mild mannered middle class guy.

OK, so a gang life is not your thing, but it STILL does NOT prevent you from leading an exciting life. Find a career that you TRULY enjoy and challenge yourself to the max. Go to at least one new event or thing a week to cultivate a sense fo adventure and chat up just out of fun with people you don't know. Form and expand your social circle! Pick a few cool hobbies you really want to do and cultivate them. And most importantly NEVER put a woman on a pedestal! They are human beings, no more no less. Fawning over them, being desperate about being with them, sacrificing your own integrity and wishes to please them are all roads to DISASTER!

Besides, what the hell is with this "utmost respect" bunk. Are you putting women on a pedestal? What the hell has she done to deserve this apart from having a different set of sex organs that you crave to put to use? SHE WILL NOT TRUST YOU if you kiss her a** before she has done anything to earn it! I understand that you firmly believe in all these chivalry gestures, and though I don't, I am not going to knock on you for them, but that only means you will have to work twice as hard to convince the girl that these gestures are out of politeness and NOT desperation!

Answer 3

It's many of these things and more.

Many women are taught to idealize the "bad boy", because either they find it attractive (probably because of media saturation) or because they think he's not really "all that bad" and that they can "fix him".

Also, many women, especially more normal looking women who aren't ultra skinny or super gorgeous, but just regular beautiful women (we're all beautiful one way or another!) can have very poor self esteem. This is also related to the society we live in, because we are bombarded with images of women size 0-4 as the norm, always in full makeup, designer clothes, etc etc. So yes, many women do have poor self esteem.

Do not let up the nice guy routine - just keep looking for a nice girl! There are TONS of them out there (although they might not all look like Angelina Jolie or something!), and you're sure to find one. Just don't settle for someone who doesn't appreciate the respect you're showing her. Save it for a girl who deserves it.

Answer 4

Well a lot of nice guys can be toooooo nice. That is, nice guys sometimes equate being respectful to women with being subservient to them. Essentially, they become wimps letting the women walk all over them. Most women don't want wimps, they want men.

I'm not saying you're one of these guys just that I've seen guys complain about this before and they usually fall under this description.

You can still be respectful while disagreeing or having different preferences than women. It should be a relationship between two equals, not one person above the other.

Answer 5

As a nice guy and the way you behave, you must have been brought up very well by your parents as you appear to be disciplined, showing maturity, respect for women and many others that woman would love in general but don't be possessive if you do. It is upbringing by good and loving parent that taught all that and made you a nice guy. Those from rotten homes and families and who are spoiled and wild behave like what you said. it is not suitable and they are greedy and rugged in nature. Just drop them of your list.

Answer 6

Not all women like those ghetto thug asshole guys. I would want someone who treats women with respect, maybe its just that you only focused on women who like to run after bad guys. There is always another side to the coin.

Answer 7

I'm a nice guy too who thinks from right and wrong. I've asked this question before as well. Its good that you will stay the way you are. Girls just want jerks because they think jerks will provide them with protection and give them an adventure or challenge. We don't finish last, we finish in the long run. IN the future girls will go for us and realize how wrong they were. If girls don't like you for being a great guy then they aren't the right girl for you. Good luck and take care.

Answer 8

Women mistake nice-ness for spineless-ness. They assume the nice guy will never say no and will never surprise them. So they go for the guy they think they don't understand.

But it ends up most of the time like you said, the only mystery about assholes is how women don't see them for what they are. Or that they bother to try and "change" them into some one who won't abuse them.

Either that or a lot of women are self-loathing masichists who are mental.

Answer 9

Your mother taught you right. Most woman where brought up in a home, where the father didn't treat the mother right, and it becomes a matter of how you are raised. I do believe that some woman believe that men will treat them better in the home, but then find out that it is usually worse. By then for some it is to late, or they don't know how to get out of it.

Answer 10

You sound like a real gentleman.

So you want to know why the good guy finishes last?

Heres my theory:

Women go through a phase where they chase the bad boy, want what isn't good for them and end up breaking their heart in the end. (forbidden fruit) The bad boy that turns out to be a jerk, player, full of confidence and a lot of fun. Then women finally wake up after going through a bunch of jerks to finally appreciate a good guy, after getting hurt numerous times.

Once women mature and are ready to settle down and look for a good guy (same with guys looking for a good girl).