How can I stop hating my step mother?

Question

I can't stand my ******* step mother. My father and I use too be able to go too baseball games and football games, whenever we wanted to, but ever since he met and married " the *****" me and him can't hang out like we used too. If I ask to go to a game with him, he says that his wife has to go? why? Plus, she follows him where ever he goes. If he goes to the kitchen, she follows, if he goes upstairs too his bedroom, she follows. She never seems too leave him alone. I know that it's him that should what things too change, but I don't see that happening. I wish that she would pack her stuff up and walk out of are lives. My father use too be a happy, fun guy too hang out with, and smoke weed with, but she changed him. he doesn't seem to notice and I an afraid too point out the truth too him...she's needy and contolling. The man is 46 years old and can't hang out with his friends, because she doesn't like them. HOW CAN I BREAK THEM UP!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Dude i'm an adult that happens to live with my father. OPPS!! I don't make enough too pay a high rent in Cali, so I rent from my day...plus I have shitty friends that don't work, so NO roommates.

Answer 1

You don't mention your age.
About all you can do is hit dad up for money to see the games and see if you can go with a friend. This approach may actually work out better. You can have the freedom and he will probably be willing to give you the money just to get you out of the house.

You just take care to do your studies and whatever chores, and stay out of trouble. Work towards getting yourself out of there immediately after graduation.

If they are still in their honeymoon period, there isn't anything you can do about it. At some point it will cool down.

Answer 2

It sounds like you have some jealousy issues here. She came and took your dad away. That sounds rather childish.

If you are a grown man then you should be able to understand that they might want to spend time away without you around. Did you ever think that if they are having problems you are the cause? I would have a hard time dealing with my husband's grown son living in my house and showing me no respect.

Perhaps she just wants the best for your dad and pot heads are not her idea of good companionship.

You didn't mention how long they have been married or how long you have been living there.

Answer 3

First of all your attitude towards them doesn't seem very nice. If your Dad is happy and in love why would you want him to lose that. (By asking how to Break them up!)

As an adult you should understand that people fall in love and without meaning to... things/people do change. It is a fact of life. Plus imagine how stressful it is for your Dad and your Stepmum to see and feel your attitude towards them. It would make her needy and controlling as she probably doesn't feel comfortable with you.

You could try talking to both your Dad and Stepmum together (to show them you are mature) and tell him you would like to spend more time with him without her but also that you don't mind spending time with her as well. (Even if you do mind, you need to make an effort!)

You should also think that maybe your Dad doesn't "hang out" with his mates anymore is because he doesn't want to smoke weed etc anymore.

As harsh as it sounds, it is time you let your Dad live his own life and maybe get one yourself. (Go to games without him, take up a sport, take up a hobby).

Answer 4

one option is to of course, get a job and find a place of your own. i'm sure you'll feel really great once this is done.
if you don't like this option then the next option is OBVIOUSLY about your dad, your stepmom and you.
the next time you ask your dad to take you to a baseball game or what have you, if he has plans with his wife or if he says his wife has to come along, that's the time to talk to him about it. don't go too hard, because since you've never mentioned it, he's probably never realized how you feel. you don't need to tell him you feel 'left out', cuz that'll make him feel terrible. just tell him that you miss spending quality time with him. (just to be nice, tell him that it may be your problem and it may be his). It'll just make him feel better, and make you feel more comfortable. hopefully he'll say something like, he will set aside time for just the two of you, without his wife. don't try to break them up, as long as he is happy with her. maybe in return, you can take him AND his wife out to dinner, or to a movie, or, a baesball game, or whatever you like. this'll show your dad that you still care about his relationship with her, that you still respect her, and that you still love him.
haha. i don't care how corny this is.. i'm pretty sure this is the best way! lol :)

hope this helps !
xx<3
good luck.

Answer 5

Easy thing. Just try to love her. Hating is in your mind i.e. in your thoughts. Think what is reason behind it. Go to the root cause and remove it. Think positively that she is loving you a lot.The vibrations of your thoughts will affect her mind and you would be surprised to observe the results.

Answer 6

I think if you're an adult then you should work toward finding a job that will enable you to pay rent on a place of your own.

Answer 7

I guess you never really learned to accept your step mother. I've never been there so I assume its really hard to do and I don't think you should be forced into anything. I always say. " once i get into college everything will go away..."

Answer 8

i felt same about my step mom i told my dad that she was a gold digger etc he never listened to me until now u just have to let Ur dad figure it out on his own.

Answer 9

i hate to say talk to your dad about it.but you should.
tell him you feel like your being left out.
you need some time too.
don't say any thing bad about her cus then you have drawn a line and he will take her side.
just explain you want quality time

Answer 10

let your dad have a life and get one yourself.