IMPORTANT(to me) HOW can I deal with my feelings of being VULNERABLE?

Question

How to deal?
I've had a lot of issues with relationships. I'm single...so obviously something went wrong.
All starting with the one that died in a car wreck, the next hit me around, the next didnt give a damn about me and my son(a "man's man"), the next two guys i dated cheated on me,& got me pregnant again(i'm to blame too) abused me mentally, emotionally and sexually, after that i was alone for a year. DONE! Then I met someone else, who played me for a fool and then said he couldnt be with me because my children caused "problems with his families beliefs" (lie).
I obviously am going to have trust issues, sex issues, & more. I've reciently met someone who seems promising, he enjoys my kids, respects me and what i stand for(or dont) but as soon as i started feeling happy i kind of freaked and got paranoid. I've said nothing to him about it and have taken no further action with how i feel[vulnerable&scared]Has anyone ever felt like this? Normal?
What should i do to get through this

a lot of my problem is that i like being single i dont have to tell anyone what i'm doing or anything. i'm comfortable with my life, and by chance i met someone.

I have actually turned down everyone but this guy in the past, 6 months.
I've got much higher expectations now that i've been through everything.

attracting child abusers is my worst fear ever, along with them getting attached. I dont want them thinking that someone is going to stay around when they really arent.
actually the guy i met, his father told him not to let my kids think of him as anything but a friend until he knows if he's going to be sticking around. I guess his father had gone through something like that, and the little girl got attached and it was really hard on her.

and i'm so tired of hearing 'think about your kids" thats ALL i do
thats why i've been alone, tryin to protect them.
I wont date men with kids because kids get attached to each other and thats just not fair.
more insight for you

Answer 1

Well, first of all, you probably don't want to hear this but raising your kids is so much more important than worrying about dating stupid boys/ "men". I'd be more worried about all of those nasty pedophiles out there who like little kids and be trying to protect them from your dates-esp. with the luck you have. Mine is no better and I enjoy being single, in fact so much that I almost just got used to it. The first step would be to actually get to know and like who you are. Then realize that you are worthy and too good to keep settling for these losers you attract. After you figure out how to love yourself and be alone and like it, maybe you can branch out and start looking for a guy who has very acceptable qualities for you and your children. But please by no means settle for anything less than what your family deserves. The key is picking the guy-not letting him pick you!!!

Answer 2

Just tell him that you need reassurance that he won't be like the other guys you've dated. These feelings are completely normal especially after what you've been through.

Answer 3

everyone feels vulnerable when they fall in love --- they open up their lives for someone and hope they dont trample on them ---- in this case he really needs to know --- otherwise he will think you are not interested ---- its a lot to put on him BUT if he truly cares he will respect how you feel and work through the problems ---- best wishes

Answer 4

From reading all that you've been through I'd say it is normal for you to feel like you do. Maybe talk to him about it? Be honest and maybe by talking to him about it you will feel better.

Answer 5

Talk about it to someone. Either to him, or to a therapist. If you're serious about this guy, you may want to look into couple counseling.