My brother in law (of 20+ years)was just convicted?

Question

of being a serial rapist-Should I send him a Christmas card?What would I say? Serious answers please-

Having a hard time believing if he is really guilty or not, I have known him for over 20 years, but the evidence...

Just don't know what to say to someone who has been sentenced to over 200 years in Prison. "Happy Holidays" "Hope you have a Joyous New Year"?

Wife believes 100% in his innocence. Oh-did I say he comes up for trial next year on 9 murder charges...

Thanks everyone for not slamming us or making me feel worse. It is a hard time on all of us.

Answer 1

Even a serial rapist is a human being. If he did what he was convicted of doing, he belongs in jail. If you care about him and want to stay in touch to help him, send him a card where you write the message instead of one already printed up. Tell him what you feel. Tell him you're thinking of him and treat him with compassion. There had to have been something in his past that led him to acting the way he did. That doesn't help his victims but if you're able to treat him as a person with feelings and let him know he can still be thought of kindly by someone, it will help his time in jail go by a little more easily. God bless you that you're willing to support him.

Answer 2

Before you can write to him you will need to know his convict Dept. of Corrections inmate number. Where he is housed and bldg number, etc. Of course send him a XMas card. Just don't mention his problem. Say you hope all is going well, and that you will be there for his wife and family. Let him know you are neutral in all this. Tell him you will write to him every so often and he can write to you. You can find out how to send him money for the commissary, you can deposit a small amount of money say $10.00 every now and then for him to buy toiletries or cigarettes, or things he needs for hygiene. You will have to find out how to do this, there is a set procedure for sending money to an inmate. Check it out. Jail is very strict on letters and gifts so be careful what you say in the letters and don't send him anything they will not give it to him. Letters are all read by the Corrections Department Personnel, so careful what you say in the letters. Also, they will check you out if you are writing to him. So if you have any "outstanding warrants or tickets", don't write to him. But other than the above, show some sympathy for his plight. Tell him you will help him on the outside if he needs something done for his wife or family, within reason. Let him know you are there for him. Talk to his wife and let her know too. Don't go to visit him unless you can handle it. They will treat you like a prisoner yourself, and you are restricted in many ways. If you do go, offer to drive his wife and family with you. That would be nice. Also, if money is tight for his wife, just give her a few dollars once in a while to help. Good Luck.

Answer 3

Hi Debi,
I have had a close relative that was incarcerated. Most of them feel about as low as they can get. I would send a card. Family is family. It doesn't seem that you have anything personal against him. I would say Merry Christmas. Many times prisoners are forgotten about, as many in nursing homes. It is good therapy for people to know that there is someone that cares for therm.
I will pray for comfort for all involved in this. E mail me if you like.

†Prayer Warrior At Your Request†

Answer 4

You could send him a card that says "Thinking of you at the holidays." One, you won't be lying, because you are thinking about him, i.e., whether or not he truly is a scumbag or was framed; and two, it will alleviate any guilt you may have if you don't acknowledge him, esp. considering your sister believes he is innocent and probably wants her family to stand behind her belief.

Answer 5

Hate the sin, love the sinner. This is a very hard time for you and your family. Your brother-in-law has done terrible things but don't let him make you and your family victims also. forgive and send him a card.

Answer 6

First, I am so impressed this question has been up for so many hours without any of the usual snide remarks.

I guess many of us forget, after the conviction, the family is left to sort out the wreckage of what was left behind. I want to pray the God helps to mend the many broken hearts. I also know what it feels like to have a family member be in such a deep state of denial of someone's wrong doing.

But remember this, God never gave up on me, and I will never give up on my brother. I can't act like his past has not occured, but I can't forget that my past wasn't used to determine if I was worthy of God's grace. My second prayer is you will hear the advice regarding giving him a Bible. My third prayer is one for your brother-in-law to surrender himself and seek after God's love.

Since it looks like he will be in prison for a very long time, you might be one of the few people left to let him know he is still a person and one who can be loved by God.

† Travelling Prayer Warrior †

Answer 7

I think that would be up to you, personally I wouldn't, but if you think that he's innocent or something or just feel you should, than do, but I think only you can really decide how you feel about the matter.

How is your sister taking it, how does she feel about his guilt or innocence? That might make a difference as well in the decision I would make.

Answer 8

Send him a card and say to him that God loves him. Say that Jesus came to earth to make things right between all of us and God.

Answer 9

if your husband sends his brother a card,then just sign your name on the card too.That way it doesn't seem like your disregarding him.You don't have to say anything just let the card speak for you.

Answer 10

He would be so happy to receive a Christmas card from you, and you could enclose a picture of your family with it. I would simply tell him that your family will miss spending Christmas with him, and that you all will be praying for him. I will be praying for him too. God bless you!!!

Lovingly,
Virginia