Should I forgive her???

Question

I had a really good friend who I cared about very much. She considered me her "best friend", but never really acted like it. She always envied me. But I still cared about her alot. She was in an abusive relationship a couple of years ago but was able to get out of it. I recently started suspecting that she was talking to him again, so I confronted her. She swore to me that she wasn't, she even put it on our friendship. Turns out she was talking to that trash again, so she moved out of her parents house and moved in with him again. I was very hurt and decided that as long as she was still with him, I wouldnt talk to her. But she has been trying to talk to me through Myspace, and truth is I do miss her. She swears that he's changed, but I doubt it. I just feel like if I do talk to her, that kind of means I'm supporting what she is doing.... Am I being a bad friend????? What should I do????

Answer 1

I would leave her messages back, but on all of them say that you havent forgot what you first said that the friendship can not continue if she is still with him.

Answer 2

If your friend is in an abusive relationship, what she needs most is a friend she can count on.

Yes, let her know you don't agree with her moving in with him.
Yes, you can tell her he's not welcome around you. (Example: She can come over, he can't...)

But above all else, let her know that you are still her friend and when she needs you (and based on his past behavior, it's a good bet that it will happen again) you will be there for her.

While you can't keep her away from the abuser, you can let her know that as long as you are around, she's got a way out she needs it.

Look at it from her perspective. It could be that her b/f may have convinced her to move out. In doing so, he's gained more control over her. Depending on how things went down at home, she may not feel she can return (pride & possibly she may no longer be welcome). If she has you, she has a way to get out of the relationship.