Disipline my 2 yr old!!!!!?

Question

My almost 2 year old is already getting an attitude to me and her dad. We have tried eveything ( spanking, time out, talking, showing and then talking, and every combo you can think of ) but nothing is getting better! She tells me no and tell her dad also she throws a fit and has started to through her self back in public and get on the floor and I have no clue what to do !!!! I do belive in spanking and I do belive in time out but I do not think it is ok to tell her to not hit then spank her for something right after!! so how do I nip this in the butt now before she gets worse!!

Ps me and daddy are tog.

Answer 1

Here is what I did, but I warn you it wasn't easy. I am a mom of 3 and each of my children went through this. First and foremost is consistency. If you say she is not going to get something, then she DOESN'T get it...no matter what. She will cry and carry on but do not give in. When I was in public, I did not think twice about finding the closest corner and standing them in it until their time was up. You will get stares from other people, half of them will agree with you and half of them won't. IGNORE them it is YOUR child your are trying to teach. Once she sees that she will be punished even in public, it will stop. As far as when you are at home, reinforce the positive. When she accepts no for the answer tell her how proud you are of her. If she is going to be told no, give her a reason why...."because I said so" doesn't count. If the answer is no because she will hurt herself, or it will spoil her dinner she should know. You don't have to get into details and tell her every little thing. Once she realizes that there are reasons behind your decisions to say "no" she will come to understand them. She may not like them, and she may try to come up with an reason of her own to get her way, but you have to be consistent. This is what worked for me.....hope it helps.

Answer 2

Ah, those were the days! The "terrible twos" are called that because this is the age when they discover their will and the fact that they don't HAVE to do what we ask or tell them to. They can say NO! This, too, shall pass. If you don't make too much of it, that is.

When my daughter threw fits, I'd tell her that if she wanted to do that, it was fine, but she'd have to do it in her room because we were busy with other things. We'd lead her there and close the door. She'd kick and scream. We'd ignore her. She'd kick the door so hard I thought it would break. I told her quietly I understood the frustration (BOY did I understand!) but I was concerned that she'd get hurt, so try not to kick so hard. Then I'd leave. It didn't take long for it to stop because she wasn't getting a reaction out of us.

Part of what's happening is they're learning where the boundaries are. They're learning about Mom and Dad's "buttons" and what happens when they're pushed. If you respond calmly instead of reacting wildly it calms them as well.

Remember "a soft answer turneth away wrath". It can also calm a "terrible two"!

Good luck to you both.

Answer 3

You can turn the terrible twos into the terrific two's just by spending more time with the child. They are trying to get your attention.

Yep, that means getting down on the floor and playing with them, reading to them, cuddletime, and teaching them things that they don't know. Two year olds are very impressionable, and they love music and singing. And they love being on a schedule.

Also, now is a good time to start having "quiet time." How do you start quiet time? First you tell them that "for instance" quiet time will be after supper. Then you have quiet time for about 15 minutes. During this time the child can read or play with toys till quiet time is over. You can create quiet time anytime of the day.

This is going to teach the child how to play quietly. They will say, "Is quiet time over yet?" You say, no, 5 more minutes... etc. Then you announce that Quiet Time is over, and then the family spends time together till bathtime and bedtime. You can increase Quiet Time by 5 minutes every day, and voila! you have a child that knows how to play quietly.

"Daycare worker for 2 yr olds, and mother of 4"

Answer 4

How can you expect her to be disciplined when you have no consistency in how you discipline her?

Okay, first let me tell you, I am anti-spanking. I don't believe that any child deserves to be hit no matter what the reason. I believe that there are many other ways of disciplining a child that work more constructively that teaching your child it's okay to hit.

With that said, you need to be consistent with what her consequences are for her actions. She should be able to predict with 100% accuracy what is going to happen if she ...... (fill in the blank).

For example: She is whining because she wants that specific Barbie. Here is how I would handle it: "I'm sorry, but we aren't going to get that Barbie today." She reacts with whining, "But, I want it." I would say, "The answer is no."

Of course, it's automatic cry fest - "I'm sorry you are upset, but the answer is still no. You know the rules. You will not get the Barbie. I am going to count to 3. If you continue to whine, then you need to select your (favorite blankey or your favorite toy) to go into time out when we get home." The whining continues. I count to 3. Then she has to pick one for time out. She won't decide? Then you choose for her. She throws a fit? Then, you have a whole room full of toys to send to time out. She can only get them back with good behavior.

She spends an evening tantrum free, she gets her choice out of time out.

Be consistent. Be patient. Stand your ground. Don't ever, ever give in.

She talks back, do the same thing. She hits, do the same thing.

Our daughter gets the 1, 2, 3, always. I tell her what she will lose, or whether she herself has to go to time out on 3. It works. Sometimes it takes a lot, but it is only tested when she is in a really tired - like tonight. She lost 2 blankets, a pillow, and her stuffed dog. But, she finally stopped the tantrum.

Don't forget, it will happen. Tantrums will happen. But, they are shortened and not as nasty when your child knows what is acceptable and what is not. And it's a heck of a lot easier when Mom is not freaking out!

Answer 5

If she is hitting then it is not wrong to spank her for her abuse of of physical force.Kids who are never spanked learn to hit and some of them are the biggest bullies.
All physical force is not bad and many times it is necessary.
You spank her hard enough to bring REAL tears she will get the message.My mom did it to me and my dad to because I refused to listen to reason I wanted what I wanted, and I was in the wrong.
You also have to be consistent.You as a parent have the RIGHT to spank her,she doesnt have the right to hit others.You are correcting her, who is she hitting and why?
If it is in self defense then she is not in the wrong,unless she is being spanked for misbehaving.
When my parents spanked me, it was hard enough that I sure didnt want another one.Sure I was angry and bitter and sometimes confused about being punished, but when I grew up I realized why they spanked me,and I was grateful they did,especially after seeing the delinquents who got no discipline going to prison.

Answer 6

ok this is just a phase and will pass, it will pass sooner if you pick one thing and stick to it, both of you together, spanking is not going to help here, she is frustrated and angry and hurting her isn't going to help the situation.
at home just let her go let her scream on the floor, walk away go into another room let her get it out, making sure shes safe of course, in public pick her up and take her straight out of there take her home and tell her if you do that we have to come home.
you say she is getting an attitude, but you don't really explain what that is, remember you and your partner are her role models do you speak politely to each other or does she see you slagging each other off? two year olds will say no to anything and everything, do not give her the chance don't offer her choices, just give her the food , or the clothes you want her to wear, by limiting the choices you limit the times shes got to say no, don't start any sentence with 'do you want....." just tell her whats going to happen. good luck.

Answer 7

Well, you've got the discipline part right... What you need to do with it is pick one or two methods... One method for usual behavior problems, and one for severe problems. Then USE THEM, and use them every time, right as the unwanted behavior happens, in the SAME EXACT manner. You must do everything the same, each and every time! If you are totally consistent with her, she will learn. Also, as they say on the commercials "Never let them see you sweat"! Don't let her know that she's gotten to you, stay calm and at least outwardly "in control" of yourself.

When she does behave nicely, or behave after you ask her, act a little silly and go overboard with the "Mommy is soooo proud of you for acting like a big girl!!" with big squeezes and happy smiley faces... happy eyes. She'll be so proud of herself, she'll want to make you happy again. Make sure when you're praising her, you say EXACTLY what made you so happy or proud, i.e. "sat in the cart" or "held my hand in the parking lot" or "sat quietly like a big girl"... I promise you... be consistent, and you'll be king and queen with a little princess again! Best of luck!

Answer 8

spanking teaches a child its ok to hit when someone isnt doing what they want,
do not hit ur child
i have some ideas

Define the boundaries before they are enforced
have rules and set them dont make them up as u go

Distinguish between willful defiance and childish irresponsibility.
there is a difference between not knowing what is right and throwing a fit because i cant have candy

Reassure and teach after the confrontation is over.
after the time out remind her what she did wrong

be consitant

Answer 9

one thing to know other than everyone keeps saying its just a phase it kind of is the thing it though that it would continue anyways because u dont stop that phase. first hold her down for a couple mintues, u and her even if she fights back keep holding her down and tell her when she ready u and her can talk. tell her how it makes u sad keep calm though dont scream back even if she does. if u see that shes about to do something wrong just warn her but not like im going to hit you if u do that more like "do u need me to hold you down" and if she say "no" then tell her "dont do that then or i will". just continue to keep calm cuz kids can sense when ur going to have breaking point which they enjoy

Answer 10

We told our daughter off, and then just ignored her. We wouldn't look at her or talk to her until she calmed down, then we would go on as normal. She soon leant that acting up wouldn't get her anything.