Adult Question :Promiscuity - need advice on stopping!?

Question

I moved to the Caribbean a few months ago and since then I have had a sexual reawakening.
I have had more lovers in the past five months here than I have had in 4+ years at home! I have had sex with 6 men and one of those occasions was a threesome with 2 men.(this is a first). I have also been intimate with another and kissed a girl!
Honestly?Its been mostly drunk or under the influence encounters - I've been going out 1000% more than I was at home and get 100 times more attention than I did at home. Basically I've turned into a party girl and want her to stop.
I'm very fit and young looking and very attractive so I get a lot of compliments (rarely got this at home though it did happen)
I need to stop (obviously) before I get myself a disease or a bad name or knocked up. I want to stop.
Alcohol doesnt help and I get flattered and turned on and feel a sense of wild adventure so I've 'gone for it'.
I need to say no from now on...any constructive advice?

the clothes, the weather, the music, parties, swimming pools - its not ireland I can tell you! think it all went to my head!

I'm on the pill but havent used condoms - this has to stop.

Answer 1

You lack self-love. It's common with people who are promiscuous that they don't have enough love from themselves so they look to the passion and sexual desires for a sense of "love" or comfort for the temporary moment.
If alcohol is a problem, you should stop drinking so much because you're right, if you keep going the way you're going then you will end up with an STD and possibly even worse.
I believe that the compliments you are getting and the sex makes you feel good about yourself but there are other ways to feel good about yourself besides being sexually involved with random people.

Answer 2

Well... I'm an 18 yr. old guy in college and I'm a virgin... this is very difficult because there's so many options it's not even funny and guys are somehow seen as less than men if they haven't had sex yet... so both peer pressure and temptation seem to matter here.
However, I don't listen to people and focus on what I have to do... be a little more picky about guys (like extremely high standards) and try to look for a serious relationship. Focus on your career or your job extremely so... or just chase your interests and meet a person that is both a great lover and loves what you do too... Then you'll meet the real Mr. Right and stop trying to compensate with temporary lovers that might get you undesireably pregnant or w/an STD or both...

Answer 3

Seems like you need to change your location.
Obviously it's just too easy to get drunk and laid.
You're probably a really good person, but what I'm reading doesn't say much for you through my eyes.
I personally think you need to maybe move and try to get a grip.
Nothing wrong with partying, but it seems a bit out of control and you've just been lucky nothing tragic has happened.
It's unfortunate to me this is the kind of attention you seek.
You seem to know you're living a very risky life, so while you're thinking straight make a change.
There's no reason you can't tame your behavior.
For safety sake if anything.
You lived on the wild side for awhile and survived.
Try to put yourself in a more controlled environment so you can live to tell your stories.

Answer 4

Why not just have a drink while you are out and just talk to the guy and see if that will go anywhere other than a one-night stand. You are correct that you need to stop especially if you aren't using protection and I assume you're not since you mentioned you could get a disease or pregnant.

If you like your lifestyle now though, at least protect yourself. Start taking birth control and carrying around condoms. Just know that you will earn the name of being easy though.

And with the situations you are putting yourself into, you could end up getting gang raped or worse since you are under the influence. Stop!

Answer 5

You are in a bad place for STDs.
How do you know don't already have a bad reputation?
Are you sure you aren't "knocked up"?
What do you really think of yourself?

You need to stop this for at least three months to see if you are sick and that means ZERO sex until you can establish a base line. And for GOD sake don't sleep with anyone you care about.

Sorry, I don't know what else to do but try to scare the socks off of you. You could very easily be in a DEATH spiral.

Answer 6

Sounds like your conscience is giving you a wake up call. As for the bad reputation it may already be too late, islands are small places. I hope for your sake you haven't already gotten some STD but only time will tell. I would lay off the booze since you have no control of yourself while under the influence.

Answer 7

Im sorry, but I hope you admit that you may have a problem.
I think you do realize that, and im glad you do.

Some women are permiscuous because they are addicted to sex, or do it simply out of wanting to feel loved or gain attention. And it's even worse when you are having sex while under the influence most of the time. I'd get some professional help before it gets worse.

good luck

Answer 8

Definitely be careful. You're right about the risks. It's difficult when you're getting this kind of attention, because sure - it feels good. I'm not sure of your age, but the main thing to focus on is school or work. Keep yourself busy - volunteer or join a church or spiritual group. This will occupy your time, and you won't feel as compelled to go out as much.

Answer 9

Nobody else has been hurt, you arent hurt.... Youre happy and living life. If youre enjoying yourself I dont see the harm in it. Dont stop purely because most of society says you arent being proper. I have friends whos best estimate would put them at somewhere between 60 and 80 sexual partners, I have other friends who have only been with the one guy. I dont judge any of them. Each to their own, I say. Examine your reasons for wanting to stop, and also your reasons for doing what youre doing. Then work out what is best for you.

Answer 10

It sounds to me like you are already trying to slow yourself down. While it probably won't happen all at once but over time you will get to the point that you feel that you are in control of yourself again. It's good to know that it weighs on your mind, that is a good sign. Use protection if the urge to have sex just feels overwhelming to you at times.