My boyfriend will be deployed to Iraq soon, what should I do?

Question

Hello, all.
My boyfriend is going to be deployed to, likely Iraq, soon. I don't know what to do. I can't stop him since he already enlisted. I heard that since he is in the army, maybe ask to be deployed to korea instead of iraq. Help me please?
He is coming back this christmas, what should i do and tell him?

Answer 1

He will have to go where the Army says, it's his company that is being sent not just him.

Answer 2

If his unit is deploying to Iraq, there's nothing you, or he can do about it. He'll get his turn in Korea, sooner or later, but not to get out of going to Iraq. Everyone in his unit is in the same boat.

Coupe of things you can do for him:

1) If you and he are serious about each other and plan to marry eventually, then do it before he goes. It will help him mentally while "downrange." Make sure his DEERS is accurate (to reflect his new wife) and you are listed as his Next of Kin. All of this is Just In Case, but it is much better for you to be a widow if he dies than "just" his girlfriend at the time he died.

2) Whether you get married, or not, Support him. DO NOT talk bad about the Army to him; do not talk bad about going to Iraq...regardless of how you personally feel. Give him you love and support the whole time he is preparing to deploy, while he is deployed and once he gets home!

3) When he gets ready to go, talk with the Family Readiness Group (even if you're "only" his Girlfriend, it for you too!) and get the tools they teach for you and your Soldier to cope with deployment. Make friends with the other spouses, Significant Others and family in the unit. Be active and help those who are having a harder time get through. When he goes, hide small gifts in his rucksack, duffle bag, carry one etc... things like a note, a photo, a silk flower, personal mementos etc..

4) While he's gone, stay active with the FRG. Send care packages, including books and videos (keep 'em clean ) $5 DVD from Wal-Mart are always amusing, candy, food (no pork or alcohol products) (Ramen packages, tobacco sauce, jerky, Girl Scout cookies, etc are great!). Particpate in any Video Teleconferances (VTCs) his unit sets up, email him everyday, write a letter and mail it once or twice a week, send a small package once a week, a large package (stuff he can share with buddies) 3 or 4 times while he's deployed.

5) When he gets home, Welcome him back and be understanding. Stay active with the FRG and take the classes offered to help you and your Soldier re-integrate with life at home. Take part in Couples retreats offered by the unit Chaplain, get to know each other again---you will both have changed over the year.

Save these answers for when he does deploy so you have a little checklist. It helps.

Answer 3

If he is going soon then his unit will most likely place him in
"Stop-Loss and he will not be able to ask for a reassignment. The best thing you can do is support him. Discuss a routine that you and he will have for communication while he is deployed. Get information such as mailing address and send him a care package a bit early so it is there when he gets there. My wife took a photo a day of her and my son and sent it to me when I was deployed. She would send them every Monday. I would receive a letter and it was great. I had an album that I put them in and flicked through it with her when I got back and laughed at how much my son grew. If you support your boyfriend through this very hard time and truly unselfishly love him and place his wants' needs and emotions first it will the greatest gift and keep sake he will most likely have for life.

Oh and hard letters are way bettter than emails!

Answer 4

tell him you support him in anything and everything he does. Tell him you are proud of him and what he is doing and will have to do. Asking to go to Korea is not really an option. He'll get laughed at. You go where you are told to go. (My husband is in Iraq. He is part of the solution to a very sad problem.) Tell him you will wait for him and that you will write, e-mail and send care packages as much as you can. Above all, let him know he is in your heart and MEAN IT when you say you are proud of him. I'm not going to lie, being the one left at home sux! But keep your hearts connected and you'll be fine! Good luck.

Answer 5

Your boyfriend joined the US Armed Forces. What do you think we do? Paint pretty pictures and plant flowers? Not to sound harsh or anything, but unfortunately, getting deployed and getting your life put on the line kind of comes with the job description. Being a spouse/girlfriend/boyfriend of someone in the military is in a way, like being in the military yourself. Not only does his way of life change, yours does too.

Just support him and write to him a lot if you can. Communicate with him as much as you can. Show him that you care. Show him that you trust him and he'll trust you back. Be proud of him and what hes doing. Just don't let him down.

Answer 6

HI! I know that this is a difficult time but this is his job! They all deploy and we all go on with our lives the best we can while they are gone. Don't think tjust because he is going to Iraq that he'll die. You can't ever think like that. remember he is a soldier first and he will go where he is needed.
Just support him, tell him you will do everything you can for him while he is there in Iraq, write letters, snd care packages, and love him..that's all you can do and it is the most important thing you can do!

Answer 7

He's going to be deployed where they chose to send him. If his unit goes to Iraq he will go with him. If you two are planning on staying together through this just be open, honest and faithful. It's a hard thing to deal with but it can work if you two are right for each other.

Answer 8

Sweetheart.......relax!!! My husband left 5 months ago. He has 8 more to go. Honestly u need to tell him every thought that is running through ur head. Have an open relationship and tell all. Dont hold anything back and encourage him to do the same. It is not easy and i am not going to lie to u........it will be extreamly hard. The best thing for u to do is be his #1 fan and support him in everything he does. Even if u dont like what is about to happen.....support him and encourage him. He is going to thrive on u for the support. One major thing that he is gonna need to get him through his deployment is going to be your love. Unfortunetly u can not do anything to change the fact that he is leaving with danger ahead. The best thing for the two of u to do is talk about it.....cry if u have to.....show him u love him and support him in everthing. GOOD LUCK AND BE STRONG FOR HIM AND URSELF!!!!!

Answer 9

nobody hates war as much as the warrior. im sure he isnt thrilled to have to go on duty, but he doesnt have a choice. In the mean time, you should support him, let him know you love him and care about him, talk to him (via phone, email, letters, whatever possible) as much as you can, and hope he comes back ok. Its not the easist thing in the world, especially when a loved one is half a world away in the middle of a war, but you have to be strong for him. hang in there. you should be very proud of him, he's doing a great thing.

Answer 10

If they want him in Iraq, there's not much you can do to change that. Even if he did go to Korea he would more than likely get sent to Iraq soon after he returns from Korea. My brother-in-law returned about a month ago from Korea and he's getting sent to Iraq in the spring. This is part of the military you have to deal with it.

Answer 11

well. first of all dont leave him. thats one thing that a lot of girls resort to and honestly..thats the last thing they need.

my husband just got deployed and yeah..it sucks..but its why he joined. he enlisted because he wanted to be a soldier. part of being a soldier means you are ready to deploy and defend whenever you are called to. dont make him feel bad about that. its his job. if anything..tell him you are proud of him and that hes your hero.

my rule with my husband was that there were no tears aloud the day he left. remember that on the day he leaves..its not about you. that sounds rude but really..its not about you. its about him. after he leaves..then its about you for a little while. you can cry then. but it makes it so much easier on him if you dont cry and you just let him know that you will be there when he gets home. a lot of girls leave the guy they are with (even married men and woman..you see that a lot in the military) while they are deployed.

try to stand by him. it will mean a ton to him and your relationship will be a million times stronger when he gets home. its not a guarantee..but if he does his job and doesn't screw around---he should be fine. i know it sucks..but its the life you chose. when you chose to be with him..you chose to live the life that he has given himself and if that means dealing with deployments..then take it in stride. it will all be over in 15 months and you can get back to life. thousands of families are doing the same thing..and families like mine even have kids that they have to explain daddy leaving to.

take advantage of the fact that you aren't married yet and that you dont have kids yet. get it done now so that when he gets back if you are serious enough to get married..you wont have to explain deployments to your kids.

if you need anything..i know what your going through now and after he leaves. just email me...i have lots of friends that are in the same position! good luck. my motto that i am trying to remember through this is "why whine and cry about it when no matter how many tears i cry they wont bring him home." put on a smile and go with the flow.