I n dont like playing with my daughter.I feel so guilty!!?

Question

I have a 4 yr old girl. I am a young single mom. My daughter is an only child and usually plays alone ince she doesnt have any sibblings which makes me feel sad since if she would of had sibblings she would have someone to play with and wouldnt feel so lonely. She goes to school in the morning but isnt in like ballet or any sport or activity where she can play with kids..I would enroll her in something but I cant afford it and dont have a car to take her...we dont have any neighbors that are her age and she doesnt have cousins either that are her age..I feel sad that she is so alone and sometimes she asks me to play with her but I dont usually feel like it, like I´ll play with her for awhile but then get tired/bored, she has a lot of energy so I have to keep up with her 24/7 and I cant all the time and it makes me feel guilty. I wish I could make it up to her somehow so she wouldnt feel so lonely..what can I do?...

Answer 1

When she wants to play with you, YOU pick what you play. She will enjoy you spending time with her and you won't get as bored with it. She's old enough for some easy board games - that's much more fun than playing pretend with Polly Pockets or something. Or, just get outside! Take a walk, find interesting things to collect, count yellow cars - anything!

Check into your local library for kids programs which are free. Mine has lots of different story times and activities geared to specific age groups.

Answer 2

I used to own a taxi service near Chicago. I gad 40 cars and 60 drivers. I sold it in 2008 and moved to Spokane. I still drive here, but I only own one car and drive it myself. I enjoy it as a semiretirment gig, but I wouldn't do it if I had to support a family. It has recently been reported in the news that this vocation is the third highest stressful job in the nation. Many people wouldn't believe that until they did it for a living. What people don't think about is that a cab driver lets total strangers in the car 15 to 20 times a day. You never know who you are going to get. I know drivers that have been robbed, beaten up, and even one that was shot and killed for just a gang initiation. If it was the worst job you ever had, then be glad yo are out of it.

Answer 3

Have you tried looking at some of the after school programs. I know we have then here where we live. My kids like them, and gives them something to do with other kids. Seeing as you don’t have a car, look at things that are close by. A park of something like that.. the playground at your school. Someplace you could take her to play. This will help in a few ways. First; it gives her something to do, and second; gets you some fresh air.

It sounds like based on what you are writing, your not feeling very good about the situation you are in. you might want to see if you can talk to someone… a therapist, councilor or maybe the reverend at your church or synagogue. They won’t give you much in advice, but it will help to get some of what you’re feeling out…

Answer 4

Your efforts are good indented however, the idea that you would enroll her in something but cannot afford it...is like saying you want to pass the responsibility to others; I am sure you must be tired from work and that is an issue with most young parents but you still need to make the time to play with your child. She is in her developing age and this is when early childhood experiences can create positive or negative effects when she gets older. Most would prefer to think that early childhood experiences do not affect the developing child but it does. So even though you usually do not feel like it you have to; who else is going to care and have a real interest in your child? The feelings of ...guilty should let yo know that what you are doing is not working otherwise you would not feel guilty; make the time even if you get tired. Try to find a place that have activities for single parents and their kids. You know what you have to do to help your child. Enjoy life with your child because time passes so fast and what will you have if not the memories you have created with her.

Answer 5

Wow. I would feel guilty too. When my son was that age I was a single parent too. There wasn't anything I wouldn't do for my son. I colored with him, I played games with him, I took him for walks, I took him to the park. I never got bored of him. If I got tired then I would have him take a nap with me. We usually didn't sleep but just read in bed. I don't see why you don't want to play with your own child. I don't think you have to play 24 hours a day but at least some time. Once she gets older she's not going to want to play with you. Shouldn't you take advantage of it now? I would and I did. My son and I are very close and I wouldn't change that.

Answer 6

i am a working mom...there are really times that we cannot play long with our children because we're tired from work or has a lot of household chores to take care of at home... though we can't help but feel guilty for not giving them the needed attention sometimes, but whenever we find time to play with them, we should make the most of it...

i start playing games with my son as soon as i arrived home from work.. just a simple hide and seek game or like pretending to be another person knocking on the door... i love to see his wide smile when he finds out it was mommy knocking outside... we also play while we watch the news, before we go to sleep we play on top of the bed... i love to hear his giggles and laughter... btw, my son is only 2 years old...

enjoy playing with your daughter at her age before he goes to school the whole day and you start missing the time together.

Answer 7

It is hard to keep up with a 4-year old, so don't be surprised if you are tired.

If you're worried you're not playing with her enough, make a schedule and keep to it. Show it to her, and show her how to watch a (digital) clock. Then you can show her that it is 5:30, and mommy is making dinner now so she needs to play alone, but that at 6:30 you'll read her a story, etc.

If you really don't have any other children near your home, start looking for somewhere new to live. Children love to play with other children, and there are plenty of apartments and neighborhoods with lots of children.

Even if you don't have transportation, go in to school with her, talk to her teachers and see who she is friends with. Contact the parents, and invite their children over for a play date. It is likely they have transportation and will find it easier to come over than you do. Personally, I find it easier to have 2 young children playing together than for myself to always be the playmate.

Good luck to you!

Answer 8

See if she can go round and play with her schoolfriends in the afternoon sometimes. You said you don't have a car, but maybe if it ws a special friend the friend's mum could bring her home afterwards? You can always ask...

You'll have to have them back (does she go on the bus, and could the friend come on the bus too?), and then she'll have someone to play with at your house sometimes.

Answer 9

Just do it...play with her. Even if it is just an hour a day. That would be wonderful to her. You are a mom so be a mom! You choose to be a mother now do some mothering! Do things with her that you would enjoying, like reading books to her, doing each others hairs and nails, playing board games, and so much more. Stop feeling guilty and just do it!

Answer 10

it is not the quantity of time you spend with her it is the quality.... there are lots of programs that are free that maybe you could enroll her in. Otherwise meet some new people with kids so she could have some play dates.

I have 3 kids and there are times when I am just too tired to play with them and I feel guilty too. Don't beat yourself up over it, just do fun things when you are together and make the most of your time together :)