How do you tell your gf you'd like her to lose weight without hurting her feelings or offending her?

Answer 1

Instead of telling her to lose weight try suggestions. Instead of sitting at home watching a movie, go play tennis, and go walk around a park, go play golf, raquet ball, or go swimming, just try to get out more together. You get to enjoy one another and it's good for both of you.

Answer 2

I wouldn't really tell her.
If I were you I would talk to her. Gently. Girls are really sensitive so if you don't want to hurt her feelings you have to make sure that you make yourself very clear to her that you're not thinking that she doesn't look good if she doesn't lose weight.

Talk to her about how she feels about herself and just get to know how good her self-esteem is. If it's not really good then I'm afraid you have to tackle the problem from the core. Obesity isn't something just on the outside, because most of the time there's always a problem deep inside that nobody else knows about or sees that's causing the weight problems.

You should also understand first hand that losing weight is easier for guys than it is for girls. It takes a lot of motivation and support. And if you really want her to lose weight, you shouldn't say that this is a problem that she should solve on her own. Give her a hand. Remind her that she's beautiful. Make her feel good about herself.

Suggest that you guys could go swimming together, or cycling, or jogging. Or you could show her how to eat healthy if you also eat healthily. Let her know that her health (not just yours) also matters to you. Just offer to be there with her and not just expect that at the end of the year you want to see some sexy slim girl standing in front of you.

It doesn't work like that. I know guys just want to slap on solutions on girls all the time, but girls need much more than that. Sorry but that's the fact.

So be supportive, be helpful and most of all be very sensitive. It's not that easy but it isn't possible. I'm sure if the both of you can communicate well, this shouldn't be a problem. And if you really do care about her, you won't push it. Coz in the end if she just can't do it (and you should expect this too, nothing goes perfectly all the time) you should still ask yourself will I still love her regardless of how she looks?

Good luck!

Answer 3

You don't. You can't. SHE has to want to lose the weight and find the motivation to do so. If you tell her you want her to lose weight, it could depress her and make her eat more (i.e. I'm depressed, so I'll eat lots of chocolate).

What you CAN do is invite her to go for a long walk whenever possible, or play a sport together (tennis or even ping pong).

When you go out you can try to make healthier food choices and suggest those you like to her, e.g. "Hey, do you know what I do? I ask for my salad dressing on the side, then the salad's not soaking in it!" Or, if she insists on having some kind of dessert, suggest that you share it-- one dessert with two forks is so much more romantic!

If SHE brings up the subject that she would like to lose weight, ask what you can do to help her in her efforts. Don't nag .. no-one wants to be the victim of nagging!

Answer 4

Perhaps you can be in support of her losing weight by tell her that YOU want to get fit and in shape and ask her if she would like to do the same to support you by walking, joining the gym, etc. That way the weight won't just focus on her and you will both benefit. When it comes to eating, have her help you with a meal plan so that you can both share or start taking her out to more nutritious places with salad bars or even Subway instead of a burger joint.

Answer 5

You have to take a gamble. Tell her "honey, you need to lose weight or you will go beyond the point of no return ie morbid obesity." If she's offended, let her go. You don't need a fat gf or wife. If she's smart enough to take heed, she would follow your advice as a good gf or wife would. Taking someone's good advice is also a show of maturity. Getting offended for getting a good advice or constructive criticism is not being mature.

Answer 6

There is NO good way to do that. The only thing I can think of that you MIGHT try is to start some sort of workout plan together and pretend it is for you. Stop taking her to junk food places to eat, and don't eat it yourself in front of her if you don't want to tempt her. If you think she might be receptive, you could buy some sort of workout machine or gym membership for both of you, but I wouldn't push it.
My husband is in the military and has to stay in good shape--we are both in our 40's. I need to lose about 30 pounds but haven't had much success so far. He has been really sweet about it, and I know how he feels without him having to say anything, but there is something about when somebody pushes me that makes me get all defensive and be more likely to give up than try harder. If she is anything like me, chances are she knows, and you will help her more by being supportive like I said and setting a good example without calling her attention to it and hurting her feelings.

Answer 7

If she were really putting on the pounds (I'm talking skyrocketing numbers here) then I think you HAVE to tell her. If you're asking for her to be near anorexic, then that's just stupid. The only way you'll be able to get somewhere decent asking a question like that would be if you truly cared about her health and think it would improve her self-esteem if she changed a bit. I wouldn't mind if a boyfriend told me to lose weight if I really needed to, but if he's asking me to go from 125 to 105, then there's gonna be a problem...

You have to be genuinely concerned in her interests or else..

Answer 8

If you truly love her it shouldn't matter, but if it's for her health maybe you should ask her what her New Years Resolutions are. You want it to be her goal because in the end if it's your idea you're $cre!#* especially when she gets moody from dieting.

P.S. Also it's around the Holiday time and where I live it gets dark early in NY and ppl become depressed. So maybe she's eating b/c of stress try to be understanding.

Answer 9

You don't. If your girlfriend is truly overweight, she knows it. I can't imagine you've been together that long that her appearance has changed so much. So she must have been at this weight for awhile. If she is unhealthy, she needs to see a doctor to decide on a suitable weight-loss plan, but it's her decision to make. If you can't handle the way she looks, you may just have to break up. Accept her or move on.

Answer 10

Good luck brother. Its a difficult battle a head of you.

The best suggestion is for you to start taking an intrest in your own health and invite her to do the same with you. Of course this requires you to do the same, but everyone can afford to loose a couple pounds.

If you tell her she is fat, your only going to be doing the next guy the favor. She'll leave you so quick, then shed the pounds and be slim for her next boyfriend.

If your in a strong relationship, you might even be able to tell her out right. Still though, if you want her to shed the pounds she'll need support which leads right back to both of you exerciseing and dieting.

Answer 11

haha. don't do it. believe me, you'd rather have her a couple lbs heavy than deal with THAT.
i guess you could ask her if she wants to come to the gym with you. if she declines, go anyway so it doesn't look like you were only going for her. you can try it again (wait a week), but if she refuses a second time, drop it all together. if you're a little fat (or unhealthy or something) tell her you're going on a diet and ask if she wants to be buddies with you (ie she goes on a diet too, then you talk to each other for support).