Why do people no longer say Thank You or send out thank you cards?

Question

Is this no longer socially acceptable? It just seems like society is so rude and in such a hurry all the time? Is this due to technology, i.e. the internet? Should manners fall by the wayside because we are all high-tech now? I am not "Miss Manners" by any means but it just seems like common courtesy is no longer.

Answer 1

In many cases, people are totally ignorant of "manners." These days, in this "informal" society, many think it is not necessary to be polite.

Manners is the "grease" that lubricates social interactions.... it has nothing to do with being "nice" or what fork to eat with. As long as humans continue to live within societies, there will be a need for "rules" of etiquette.

These days, we are experiencing yet another generation of people who have never been taught manners, and for whom manners have been looked down upon as some sort of archaic ball-and-chain that is outdated and outmoded.

It's surprising, however, when people who ignore manners are themselves the "victims" of rudeness, they yell and scream "foul" the loudest. But when asked to perform the most basic of courtesies, such as a thank-you note, they couldn't care less.

Go figgr!!


Have a polite day.

Answer 2

No, it hasn't fallen by the wayside! Sending cards or notes expressing gratitude is still the socially acceptable way to
acknowledge a gift or service or kindness.

It is deplorable that so many younger people opt out of their social responsibilities and disregard the thoughtful efforts of others. I have noticed this in many newlywed couples, especially.

Where it still seems critical is the business world, especially when searching for employment. Job-seekers still send brief letters thanking the interviewer and sometimes even send letters to their references.

"High-tech" should not have to mean "no manners". An email "thank you" is just as awful and as careless as an email invitation, in my book.

Answer 3

For wedding gifts, I think you technically have a year to send a thank-you note (because they technically have a year to send you a gift!) If it is a really special gift and you don't see the person very often, opt for 'better late than never." Even if it is years later, you can always start with "I am so sorry it took me so long to respond to the wonderful ---- you gave me. It was such a thoughtful gift etc". Just acknowledge the lateness right away, then get into oozing about the gift. But don't just expect people to forget. I have given very personal gifts and never received a thank-you note, and even years later it still stings a little. But the fact is, I don't remember when I DID receive thank-yous; I just remember that I received them! So swallow your pride, apologize right away, and you'll feel better about it immediately!

Answer 4

Good question-
to Just Me - I am a baby-boomer and my children were brought up to respect people and to treat them that way, and my 7 year-old grandson is almost too polite!
But, it does seem as though a lot of people have forgotten basic etiquette- and I may get slammed for this one - I think some of it has to do with the women's lib movement - why - because it became "unacceptable" to hold a door open for a woman - that's BS - my kids were taught to hold the door open for anyone entering or leaving the same door they were - it's rude to drop a door on somebody, and there are other things that go along with that.
It's not all due to the woman's lib movement - I guess a lot of people just forgot to teach their kids to respect themselves anhd other people. And along with that we get much more than just the lack of please and thank you -we get people getting into fights over parking spaces, people killing each other over things that shouldn't be more than just a minor disagreement. It has a lot more to do with respecting our fellow humans than manners.

Answer 5

Because they are rude period! I have always showed my appreciation. If I can't say thank you in person, I will call you or send you a note. It hurts not to be acknowledged when you put time, thought, and money into family, especially your own child, and grandchildren or even a daughter or son in law! I never received an invitation to their wedding, or the money I gave them as a gift. They live out of state. I was never allowed to come visit when my grandchildren were born, but was given an appointment to arrive , and the day to leave. I feel totally left out of a family relationship which has caused me tress and depression. I hardly get to see or talk to my grandchildren, and I have another one arriving this March. When I do go to see them, I am walking on egg shells with both of them, but mostly my daughter in law, and because of that there is also stress. I send gifts to the children and have to call and ask if they arrived. I received a card on grandparents day with the firs child and not since. Every year I ask my son for a birthday card or a mothers day card to no avail! I am ready to just give up on them, and when the children get older, go to court for grandparents visitation. They live less than a mile from her mother, my son though educated is a stay at home dad, while she travels as an auditor for a well known store. He doesn't drive, so he has to depend on her and her family. The children have been to my house once since their births. The boy will be 6 and the girl will be 4. I ignored Christmas this year because the glide bikes, helmets, etc are still in their garage unopened which I confirmed with my son. I bout them for their Birthday's last year hoping they would enjoy them for the spring and summer. My Grandson is in the autism spectrum although God's blessings have left him highly functional. They have used him for an excuse, for where they live. I see my grandson as very intelligent, he can say the alphabet both forward as well as backwards! I have met them up here when they go on vacation with her parents, but not unless they are also present. I might get a couple hours to hold a hand or two an give a hug! I have been hurt beyond these words, insulted repeatedly, but love my grands with everything I am! I don't know what to do, I don't have more than 4 pictures of them with me. I am not informed with anything concerning them, thy hardly know me or me them. I have to call and ask, they can't find time to call me! I never know what to send them, so I am about to just put money in the bank! I have tried to let all of this go, but it's eating me up alive. My son and his children have no contact with anyone on his fathers side of the family, only hers. Everyone is hurt, except for my ex husband who goes to visit and spend money on them! Any suggestions, Or do I just give the hell up? The kids are in school all day now and yet my son can't find 5 min to give to his mother?

Answer 6

The reasons that some people do not say thank you or send out thank you card is because they just do not care anymore. I may not always send out thank you cards but I always say thank you and my children are the same as me. I also call people on the phone just to tell them thank you for something that they have done for me.

Answer 7

The older generation still sends thank you cards and the little kids do for those parents that teach them to. I guess it's all the middle generation that doesn't. Funny, those are the only cards that I save because they are so meaningful.

Answer 8

I'm not sure which people you mean, but I get thank-you cards often. Perhaps you had a recent experience where you expected thanks and didn't get it. I suspect the person was grateful, but just didn't around to writing a card. Surely there's been a time in your life where you intended to call or write someone and didn't get around to it for a while.

Answer 9

Somewhere along the line, the children of babyboomers failed to pass social niceeties on to their children. If you are not taught manners you can't exercise them.

Answer 10

i honestly was never taught. I did have to call and say thank you for gifts but my parents never did thank you cards. I met my wife she sent out thank you cards. i do now especially for gifts people give me for my daughter. I think that thank you cards are still necessary now.