my girlfriend is getting really close with her ex i dont no what to do?

Question

well...
my girfriend was going out with her ex for quite a while , and they were in love. they broke up and now im with her. i know her ex and i know what hes capable of.

she constantly tells him what i say and some of my secrets which she says it between us. she then goes out and tells him.
they tell eaxhother eachs secrets and shes constantly leaving me for him so i stand there....

when i confront her about it she gets angry and an argument settles in. i feel like i cant talk to her about it. he constantly treats her like **** and when hes ready to talk to her she runs straight back to him and becomes his best friend . i ask her why she can just run back to him and shes i dont no its hard to explain...

i dont no if that means that she still has feelings for him or if shes too attached to him still

thing is ive already forgiven her already for her being really drunk and trying something on with him....

Answer 1

If you can't see that she's still hung up on him bro, I don't know what the online community is going to offer you to clear up your vision. You said it plain as day, he treats her like crap, but then she runs back to be his "friend".

If she's telling your business to her ex, that's WICKED DISRESPECTFUL and you shouldn't stand for it. If she had any concern for your feelings she wouldn't act like that. You don't need a girl like that, you need a girl that truly loves you and respects you.

It's obvious to me that she can't be trusted (based on your rendition), you should cut her loose. I don't care how drunk she was, I wouldn't let her pull that on me. Don't let her use alcohol as her excuse.

Just curious, what would she say if you put a move on an ex-girlfriend??? If she comes up with a B.S. answer, then you know to cut her loose.

Save yourself the heartache, grow some stones ditch her now.

Answer 2

You are being played here, and badly.

I'm not usually so blunt, but I think you not only can take it, but NEED it...

BE A FREAKING MAN!!!

YIKES guy, who would put up with her crap? No one, so why you then? She has lost any respect she may have had for you or she would never do these things. Do you have an agreement to be exclusive? Is she breaking it?

If you really want to keep her (I do understand how powerful love can be), then my suggestion would be to give her only one chance to redeem herself by dumping him in your presence and the next time she goes behind your back, make sure she knows she will be left behind without so much as a word.

One of two things will happen....she will gulp huge, wondering where this MAN came from as there was a tiny mouse here a moment ago, and she will meekly agree. Change achieved.

OR

She will say yes, but mean no and do what she wants.

In this case, carry thru as you have lost nothing and I do mean NOTHING at all. She is taking advantage of a gentle man (you) betraying a decent person (YOU) and only making herself look like a slut and what does that make YOU?

I think you know where this is going...like straight down. I don't think you will ever get what you want from her and would really be better off to let her go, hurt a little and find someone who respects your privacy and treats you well. We all deserve AT LEAST that much. CLAIM YOURS.

Answer 3

Sounds like she still has feelings. You need to lay down the law on this one. If she is going to be telling her ex all your secrets, then it's either him or you. And if she won't listen, dump her sorry butt. It may sound harsh, but the alternative is you getting used and ending up being the one getting dumped. Honestly, it sounds like you may not have the winning horse this time. It may be time to move on, but if you really love her, give her one chance. But she had better take that chance, or she's not worth it. Don't be a sap and wait around forever for her to make up her mind.

Good luck!

Answer 4

It sounds like she likes being treated like sh--...... There is nothing u can do. Girls like this will go for a good guy once in a while, but they always seem to go back to shi--... I know I had a girlfriend that always seem to pick up trash, and when a good guy would come along she would always use the excuse that the good guy was smothering her. They like the chase of a bad guy and nothing else will do. U sound like a good guy find a real girl. She will only break ur heart. Take care K

Answer 5

She's probably co-dependent. Look here:

http://www.selfgrowth.com/articles/Sebastian3.html

You could be co-dependent too. Confront her with this once you do some research. Don't be angry and don't move too fast, she'll go on the defensive. She needs to be open to the idea or she just won't change.

If she won't change you need to dump her. Don't feel responsible for what happens to her after she's gone. You aren't married (thank God) and owe her nothing.

Try to help... once. If she doesn't respond in a positive manner or reverts back to her old ways, kick her to the curb. Oh, and find a girl who doesn't have issues and really does like herself. They're out there, and they aren't out of your league. Most men are intimidated by them and they really do need love.

Answer 6

Sorry to know all about this. She's still "blindly" in love with the ex so I guess you better make a decision now: Let her go before you get hurt all over again. :(

Answer 7

ok..i dunno but you sound like your young...if i were you i'd tell her..to choose...him or YOU. If she won't choose...leave her!!! I don't like sounds of the situation. I wouldn't put up with it...not at all!! She is in a relationship with you...ex's should be off limits!!! Especially if she knows how you feel about him. It seems like she is using you but how do i really know. Talk to her calmly and straightforward...tell her how you feel...and what she is doing had to stop!!. If she throws a fit again...and keeps doing what she is doing....tell here enough is enough...YOU deserve better. Good luck.

Answer 8

if she is really like this then you should break up with her it may not sound too great but she will just kepp on doing it you should confront her and tell her how you feel if she loves him and not you forget her she doesnt sound that great of a girlfriend

Answer 9

well i think you should talk to her, ACTUALLY talk to her. if she does say anything talk to her ex (unless your to scared for some reason) and if they get to actached to each other and shes not spending any time with you than dump her, shes not worth fighting for.(unless you want to get hurt again!!)

Answer 10

They say you don't know what your doing when you are drunk...but the one that says that is the one that was drunk. You know exactly what your doing when your drunk...if she was with him and says it was because she was drunk and you bought it...I have some things I'll sell to you here on line OK.