i need help from someone who hasexperience with ppl: how do you talk to somewhone when you have nothing to say

Question

i might pass my bosses office and people at work, and there like "Hi, how are you? So what have you been up to" i dont go out, im something of a book worm, who likes watching political news and doing weird little projects around the home cause i dont have many friends and dont go out. so i have nothing to say. i turn red, and half leaning out the door...my body trying to leave, im like
"ohh, the usual"
"as in?"
"ohh around the house stuff. ya know."
and all along im wondering when theyll stop asking so i can slip away to what i was doing. my question is: whats the best thing to say in this situation- or how do i talk about the boring things i do and not feel that im making them think im a weirdo?? or if the answer is that i need to direct the conversation to 'all about them' then how do i talk to people cause im not very good with smalltalk and asking questions that make up a conversation (or answering questions).

ps: im referring mainly to when i my boss speaks to me. i turn red and start to almost panic, and i know im turning red and do know wnat to do to stop it and its embarrasing- all cause i know i havent much to say (allthought you all are giving great pointers, keep it up). im just not a good talker, i guess

Answer 1

Make your conversations about him, not yourself. That's how I do. I'm also a bit of a bookworm and don't get out much. When he asks how you've been, what you've been doing give a terse answer and ask him about his life. i.e. "How's your wife doing?" "How was your weekend?" "Watch any good movies lately?" "How are the kids?" "What're your plans for this lovely Friday?"

Just think about everything bland you don't want to hear about his life and ask him.

Or tell him what books you've been reading. Books are lovely centers of conversation.

Answer 2

Ideally you shouldn't BE talking when you have nothing to say, but what you really want to know is how to fill these awkward moments sufficiently so that they will free you to return to your own business...as soon as possible. This tactic is a bit devious, but it should work nicely. (You may want to practice your delivery a bit, though). The next time you're cornered about what you've been up to, tell them...in vivid, excruciating detail. Cover every nuance and every detail no matter how minute in your best monotone voice. Do this while maintaining perfect eye contact....(this is an important detail to include because you want to see them squirming for an escape route. Don't give them one.) They'll try to get away; you'll say, "...wait, there's more." Then give them another few chapters. They won't bother you again...in fact, they'll avoid you like the plague. If you went home and cleaned the bird cage, deliver that news to them like it was a doctoral thesis. You probably won't have to do this more than once! Good luck to you.

Answer 3

Flip the script. Give Boss the overlay for the underplay. Be cool. Take a breather and ask any question that would fit the mood! Go! Step out there and ask questions! Dare to be that person! Speak out! Come out of that shell! I am a bookworm, seamstress, cashier, and lover. And I've learned that life is too short to wonder about turning red in the face. Get busy speaking or go mute. You just might miss a wonderful person. .::.>:::.:. Love, Peace and Chicken Grease from the Family!!!!

Answer 4

All you have to do is calm yourself and answer in a truthful brief manner. Look at it this way in order to get 4 you have to add 2 and 2 together meaning, you want and need to be more sociable, so you must first learn to accept who you are and your "weird and boring" activities and secondly understand that small talk doesn't always have to be about you directly. For example when someone asks "how was your weekend" you can respond by saying "oh just fine, in the process of finishing a book im reading. how was yours anything interesting happen?" Then you don't have to sweat bullets figuring out more to say about yourself. Wish you success in your future small talk

Answer 5

when they ask about what i've been up to, i would say something like, "oh the usual, how about you?" this causes them to have to change the subject and talk about them selves. If they really push to hear what you did over the weekend, smile and say, i read part of a good book...but be ready to discuss the book... if you want to just end it short and not chat at all... just say, "a little of this and that... how was your weekend?" if they keep pushing for info, you can always look them straight in the eye, smile slightly, and say, " I have to get back to my finance report" (or payroll report or whatever generic item you do that can be named) this lets them know politely that they are being nosey. Which is what they are doing. They mean well, and are trying to get to know you to be nice. They may even be trying to make friends with you. Think about whether you might want to share something about yourself.. the name of the book you're reading, your favorite show, whatever...who knows... you might end up as friends!

Answer 6

I'm the same exact way but since I got a job in customer service, it's helped a bit. When people ask me something like that, I'll just give them a short answer and turn it around and ask them. Like:

Hey, how are you doing?
I'm good how are you?

Or you can just be honest

Say that you have been doing these little projects at home. And if they ask "like what?" Just tell them. I mean... if they think that you're weird, they'll leave you alone. I mean... if you don't talk to them, they'll think you're weird anyway... or even worse.

Answer 7

Most of the other answers here have great points, but one thing that stood out to me was for you to go to a good counselor or Dr. to be checked for Obsessive Compulsive Disorder, Anxiety, or Social Phobias. I can TOTALLY relate to turning red and having panic when a supervisor asks a friendly question or tries to make small talk. That can be a chemical disorder that responds to medicines.

Answer 8

I was once like you...You are fine just as you are, really...I learned to totally accept myself just as I am..LOL and nobody and I mean nobody has got me beat on weird. So now with tact I answer all questions. Am I accepted as I am by everybody.?..Hell no...but I am real and true to myself. I know I will not fit in the click circles but maybe later I will. First who said what you do is boring? How many people said this? Is this something you assume to be true, I hope not give yourself and others a chance...You are suppose to have Fun you know....because I do every chance I get ...LOL

Answer 9

I have always believed that I am shy, and I dont have much to say.. because I think about it and I dont have the same interests as most people.. so I dont know what to say, in certain situations, because I dont have the interest to know anything about it and I would just sit there and be quiet..

so I joined toastmasters, to help me with public speaking..

if you can, I would suggest joining.. it overcomes fear of speaking to people in an audiance.. and it has helped me in my personal life too!

I used to go blood red when I was asked something infront of other people.. now I do all the talking in front of people.. I have changed a lot! it has helped me tremendiously.

one thing I would recomend, is to start doing things with how ever many friends you have... go out and socialize!!

dress differently, stand out! change your hairstyle, do something extreme! own it! :) Boost your ego! 10X ++ and you will get more attention from people, this way, you will feel more comfortable with yourself and not worry about what to say.. things will come naturally..

ask questions.. about things they are interested in, show interest.. become interesting yourself.. you know stuff they dont.. so talk about it.. if they ask you what you been up to, say you have been reading about XXXX and this and that.. give them views about what you see in the situation..

they might know what you are talking about, and a conversation will follow from that.. if you feel like it is going to become uncomfortable as you run out of stuff, just say, well, I have to be off, catch you later.. or what ever.. and then move on..

but honestly, its not good to stay indoors all the time! :) get out, make friends, and get interested in other people's worlds and be interesting in your own way to other people too!

good luck!

---- ADDING ON :)

since you say it is mainly your boss, then I would say you are afraid to disapoint him.. and that is because you are not confident enough in yourself!!

you need to boost your ego!! seriously.. take my advice above..

if you are more confident, you wont blush, because you would feel good about yourself and believe in yoursefl!!

Answer 10

Lol sure. My ex used to name and do her homework and say, "Talk to me." Then she'd don't have anything to speak approximately or might snicker on the television. Ughh. Sometimes my dad's spouse calls and does that. Lol I love her however it is bizarre. She'll name and speak approximately stuff that I do not even recognize what to mention approximately Lmao.