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So, the first guy I've liked since my ex/son's father has decided that we should just be friends. Except we were never officially dating because neither of us wanted a relationship. I fell incredibly hard for him, and I know he didnt quite like me as much. I've never even been dumped before, so I'm not sure how to handle this.

The signs are obvious, so please nobody else tell me It's a shame not to fight for love. . .

My question is, how do I bow out gracefully when all I want to do is talk to him? He was very much a part of my daily life, and it all of a sudden just stopped. It's really hard. I know that "just be friends" doesnt ever work, and i've got self-respect so I dont plan on being that dumb girl who hangs around a guy who clearly doesnt dig her . . . but I need something to help me get over this.

2007-11-19 09:32:14 · 7 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships Singles & Dating

7 answers

You have to let it go. If you will think it through, it is probably as much about your hurt pride at being the dumpee as it is about the loss of the relationship--as you yourself stated, you went into with the idea that it wasn't to be a serious relationship.

Just drop it cold turkey. It's the only way to start the healing and moving on process. Work on yourself and your recovery and your own self-confidence, and guard your heart against another "too much, too soon" romance. It sounds like you may have a tendency to get too needy. You need to work on seeming aloof and hard to get. Trust me, that will attract more guys than the image you are portraying in this question. But seriously, don't purposely look for love--just live your life and when it's meant to be it will find you. You won't have to chase it.

2007-11-19 09:38:41 · answer #1 · answered by arklatexrat 6 · 1 0

You need to see other friends and talk about your feelings till you rid yourself of the grief. "Let's be friends" is a good idea that doesn't work out. Go out a lot for any excuse, just so you aren't sitting at home and brooding, till you overcome the sadness. It will go, but it takes time. Distraction is the key: take up activities you've neglected and ones you haven't tried before, exercise a lot (it helps morale) and spend as little time alone as you can. Good luck.

2007-11-19 09:39:35 · answer #2 · answered by jenesuispasunnombre 6 · 0 0

Only time will help u get over it.. there's no magic quick fix. Im going through the same kinda thing rite now. I have stopped drinking alcohol so i dont send him drunken text messages begging for him back LOL and every time i am tempted to talk to him i fight myself and i just remind myself who hurt me and why i be so weak. You got to shrug it off get some dignity and keep it, move on and dont look back hon! There is someone better for u.. keep that in mind.

2007-11-19 09:39:41 · answer #3 · answered by ~funkymonkey~ 4 · 0 0

Best way is to move on and don't spend too much time with him. You're right in seeing that just being friends is difficult. Hang out with other people who share your same interests. Avoid direct person-to-person interacation with this guy until your desire for him has subsided a little.

2007-11-19 09:37:12 · answer #4 · answered by Harold R 2 · 0 0

invite another guy over that has a really nice car and when he calls you dont answer so that way he will ride by and see something has arrived he will be so jealous and then blowing up your phone like crazy... sometimes men do this thinking they found the greener grass then it hits home but then its to late... or maybe he wants to play so play along with him... Lifes to short to take things so serious... Enjoy it...

2007-11-19 09:40:22 · answer #5 · answered by Sunshine(s) 2 · 0 1

hey looks like he need some time to kinda sort things out. maybe emailing or talking on the phone is wat u should do now. just act normal seeing as how u were never dating.

2007-11-19 09:37:56 · answer #6 · answered by Sparky 2 · 0 0

Jani, Try some honesty !Then you can walk away with your head held high !

2007-11-19 09:38:16 · answer #7 · answered by lonewolf 7 · 0 1

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