Fits of rage in 8mth old.?

Question

My 8mnth old daughter gets really cross when she doesn't get her own way or if she gets told off. She shouts and frowns while getting red in the face, clinching her fists, giving me evils and shaking with rage. This lasts for about 30secs, how do i deal with this behavour? I am not going to give in to her, but do i tell her off or just ignore it? And is this normal?

Answer 1

At 8 months old, you really shouldn't be 'telling her off' or getting into a battle of wills with her. If she wants something she cannot have, distract her with something she can have. Babies this age are usually pretty easy to redirect before they lose their cool.

Answer 2

What are you telling an 8 month old off FOR? She won't understand anything more complex than No, and she most probably won't obey that.

If she does something dangerous like try to play with a socket, just pick her up and put her somewhere else, and distract her. It's not a question of "giving in to her". Just don't go there. You are the adult, you're not going to let her do whatever it was, her reaction is irrelevant.

Answer 3

Ignore it. kids will get attention any way they can, shes 8 mos old and you can chose not to react at all. Don't give an inch, go on about whatever you are doing or need to do with her as if it never happened. That takes away any reward she gets from throwing a fit. Even negative attention can sometimes be a reward. Note: She got your attention by doing that.

Answer 4

Yup. Ignore it for now. Evils eye and clenched fists are ok. Hitting or kicking or tantrums are not. Once it gets to that (which it might b/c kids feel out of control a lot of times) then you start the time outs or something like that.

Answer 5

I would ignore it. I always kids are allowed to be angry with me. that is fine. But that doesn't make me change my mind. My first child had a temper as a baby. I always let her be mad if that is what she felt. I let her be happy if that is what she felt. I would say (when she is older). It is OK if you feel that way. If your child has a temper like mine did the struggle will be when they are older. I had to teach her to deal with it without hurting others (physically or verbally). She is now 8 and is doing pretty good and deals with her emotions better.

Answer 6

Hi there,
Babies can be difficult at times...but they are babies. They have no concept of what gets on your nerves. Your daughter is only 8 months old, she is totally dependent upon you. Telling her off is not an appropriate thing to do. She has absolutely no understanding of what you are doing, but I'm sure it is making her very nervous. Babies usually cry because they need something...food, sleep, they are cold, they are hot, etc. This is their only way to communicate they have a need.
In my opinion, the best way to respond to a child is in a quiet voice. I believe that yelling at a baby would only make them nervous and unloved.
To deal with this behavior, I would first of all make sure that she is on a schedule. Babies at this age usually work well with a schedule such as this:
Wake baby up 7am, feed her, play with her for about 20 minutes, let her play. Lay baby down for about a 45min - 1hr nap at 9am, wake her up around 10am. Play with her for about 30 min. then feed her. Put her down to nap again at noon. Let her sleep to 2pm. Give her lunch by 2:30pm. Let her play until around 4:30 and she might want a 15 min. nap around 4:45. Give her a few ounces of formula at 5pm. Let her play a bit, give her a bath around 6pm and feed her well after her bath. Have her in bed by 7pm. She should start sleeping thru the nite after about a week.
Main things here... she should be getting about 2 and a half ounces of formula for every pound she weighs. ie. if she weighs 16 lbs., she needs around 40 oz. of formula a day or it's equivalent. [At this age, she should be getting at least one serving of vegitable, one fruit and one chicken serving everyday...pureed, of course! Most babies need sleep every two hours or so during the day or they become overtired, cranky and stressed...hence the 45min-1hr nap at 9am, the 2hr nap at noon and the 15 min nap at 4:45 if needed, then bedtime at 7pm. Try putting her on a schedule very close to this. You should start to see an improvement in about a week. Most babies need schedules. If she cries during her nap times, let her cry, stand firm... and by no means, please don't tell her off. If she cries her whole nap, still get her up at the appropriate time.
When she is up, I feel it is very important to hold her and play quietly with her for quite a few minutes at this point. She needs the possitive attention.
In summary, try to keep the schedule above as closely as possible. If your daughter starts getting cranky, check to see if it has been about 2 hours since she had sleep, if so, let her take a nap. If she is well rested, check to see if she might be hungry or if her diaper needs changed. If these are tended to and she is still ranting, she probably is trying to tell you she needs 'Mommy time' and she needs a little TLC and play time with you.
At this age, she could be teething as well and needs your finger to gum on! :)
So, your baby is not behaving badly at all, she is trying to tell you that she needs something, so if I were you, I would deal with it by being calm and consistant and keeping her on a schedule so that you know what her needs may be.
You should not give into her when it is nap or bed time, once she is in bed, let her cry herself to sleep.[If she cries more than 25 min, go check that she is ok, but don't talk to her or have eye contact. If she needs a diaper changed, change it quickly and with no talking or eye contact. Once you know she is ok, leave the room.] - it helps if the room is totally dark except for a night light. If she is crying because she needs more attention while she is awake, by all means GIVE INTO HER for 20 minutes or so...she needs your undivided, positive attention.
My answer to your question is it normal...I do not believe it is normal to tell off an 8 month old baby. I do believe it is normal to be so stressed in our lives that we get angry or blow up too quickly. I've found that if you get out of the house for a 30 min. run or do a Tae Bo exercise video, go to the gym every other day... SOMETHING to vent the frustration...it helps at home to be more calm. I would say at this point, it is better to ignore your child's tantrums than to tell her off, because, as I mentioned before, she is obviously lacking something and she is letting you know the only way she knows how. Remember, she wants and needs your love. As she gets older, children always have the underlying need to have their parents approval and they want you to love them.
Sorry this is so long...I hope it helps.

Answer 7

She is mimicking you when you tell her off.