I've been dating this girl for 2 months (not long I know) but we absolutely feel for each other. I fell in love with her before the first time we had sex. I'm away at college and she's taking classes closer to her home so we're about 3 hrs away. I see her just about every weekend. Problem is that she's afraid to lose me and me the same. We've already concluded that we would not ever hurt the other person and we could really see this lasting for awhile. So we're both pretty commited. Problem is that she is constantly being asked out by guys and has a lot of guy friends. She tells them she's with me though. Also she has been with more guys then I have girls and isn't afraid to tell her business to people. When we first fell in love she was all about telling people and really excited. Now she's just kinda...eh. She still loves me and is commited but she doesn't show it like she used to. I'm seeing her today after not for 2 weeks. Helpful answers only please.
2007-11-19 08:17:57 · 10 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Yes your insecure. Being a woman I have guy friends but I know my limits. You need to trust her as that is the #1 thing in a relationship.
2007-11-19 08:22:17 · answer #1 · answered by WhAtEvEr....... 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I'm a girl just like your gf. I have a lot of guy friends and it drives my boyfriend crazy sometimes. We've been together for over 2 years though and are totally committed and live together. I have never been able to figure out why he worries so much...and I don't want your girl to feel the same way. If you know that she is being faithful...then who cares. When you catch her in a lie or find her cheating...that's when you should get worried. Another way you could look cool and understanding is to hang out with her friends sometimes and meet them and see what kind of people they are. Don't just jump to the wrong conclusion just because they are men. Who knows...you may end liking them. If it will make you feel better...you could talk to her and make sure that you two are on the same page. Make sure that what you want is what she wants and then just be happy with one another. Good Luck!
2007-11-19 16:34:44 · answer #2 · answered by carqueen66 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
If you truly trust her, then there shouldn't be a problem with the other guys. It sounds like she's telling them about you and not pretending to not have a boyfriend. The only "red flag" I see in what you've said is that you're both so in love and committed, yet you've only been dating 2 months. That's not really long enough to have known someone to be so in love. Honestly, it sounds like it started hot and heavy and now has subsided a bit and that's why she may be having an "eh" feeling. The "high" of the newness of the relationship has worn off. It sounds like to me that you both need to slow down a bit. It sounds like you're both insecure in love.
2007-11-19 16:24:28 · answer #3 · answered by First Lady 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
You said she doesn't show being in love and committed like she used to... she doesn't show YOU she's in love, or she doesn't brag about you to all her friends as much as she used to? After 2 months they probably got sick of hearing about you! LOL!
When you first start dating it's normal to totally go off the deep end and tell everyone about it, then after a while it settles down.
Unless you've got some reason to suspect some funny business then yea, you're being insecure. Trust her until you have a [REAL] reason not to.
2007-11-19 16:32:21 · answer #4 · answered by vbrown9999 1 · 0⤊ 1⤋
By asking this question, I think you must know the answer is yes. But, understand that insecurity isn't a terrible thing. Make sure that you use your insecurity to keep your relationship special and creative. I guarantee you that if you find creative things to do for her, she'll appreciate it a lot. I married my girlfriend after being in a similar situation. I made it a point to call frequently, arrange special dates, often times with her friends involved, too. I made silly cards out of pictures and construction paper for her, introduced her to my family (after about 6 months of dating) and remembered special occasions (such as birthdays of siblings&parents, monthy "anniversaries of dating", etc.)
Women generally find the little thoughtful things the most important. I guarantee you if you show her the old-style chivalry & "courting" style, you'll continue to sweep her off her feet.
Best of luck!
2007-11-19 16:27:56 · answer #5 · answered by john k 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
i love all these girls on here...blah blah blah...yada yada!!!
dude...i used to have a lot of girlfriends "as freinds mind you" but in time i nailed every single one of them...its just about being at the right place at the right time...i know guys...you know guys...we dont hang out with a girl, if she is remotely attractive, unless somehow deep down inside we want to nail them...its why we were born with a penis.
your girl might have the best intentions, but and especially if she gets high or dirnks around these guys, something down the line is going to happen...thats practically the only reason i got high and drunk and hung out with these girls.
mind you i am 32 and engaged and the whole bit...but these long distance things at a young age are akward and unrealiable. what smart guy wouldn't be a bit insecure in an age, that sex has about as much meaning to people as brushing one's teeth in the morning.
to answer your other point...can i tell you something totally honestly...two months is nothing...and i dont mean to knock the feelings that you feel...but there is one lil thing that love has taught me over the years...infatuation is not love.
i have had at least ten situations in which...for those first 3 days...3 weeks...or 3 months that i thought that i was totally head over heels in love with some girl...and she the same...but those feelings that burn so hot and fast generally fizzle about as quickly...you meet this person, they seem to be the 'one' the ultimate resolve to your emotional void and you just breath them in as if they were crack cocaine. then just around the time that reality starts to roll in, you become aware that they arent the 'answer' to your life and you begin to loose your feeling, heck even begin to loath them...
thats just life...love is something that you'll more than likely find one day, and you'll realize that love isnt this spontaneous combustion rather it is a tiny little ember that lites itself and continues to grow and progress into a steady calm and warming fire...
take it from me...continue dealing with this girl and all, try to make things work, but make sure she is willing to meet you more than half way, its the only way you'll feel assurance that it is real and meant to be...and if she isnt...DO NOT fool yourself or make excuses, especially when deep down you know the truth...keep in mind your brain is your most powerful instrument in love...your heart is ruled with the ignorance of a 5 yr old...
lots of luck to you..tell me how it goes..or email me if you need any other advice with it...
i have been there many times
2007-11-19 16:28:54 · answer #6 · answered by Thepug 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think if her having a bunch of guy friends bothers you then you should tell her so. She shouldn't be hanging out with guy friends all the time anyhow if she has a boyfriend. You should tell her how you feel and if she doesn't understand then she obviously is not right for you.
2007-11-19 16:24:57 · answer #7 · answered by sgirl714 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
well u should ask her why has she been acting sooo different lately and if she tries to change da conversation or evade the q's tell her dat u aint playin dat u really care bout but shes been different lately...dats da only way 2 find out wats goin on... dont b afraid to ask her...
2007-11-19 16:25:59 · answer #8 · answered by Milly 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
the best thing to do is for the both of you the talk...
communication is the best key to successful relationship.
dont be afraid to tell her everything thats on your mind,
who knows that might actually change things..
good luck!
2007-11-19 16:22:54 · answer #9 · answered by lej 1 · 0⤊ 1⤋
unless she leads you to think otherwise, she loves you. calm down and just relax. make sure youre on the same page and everything should be alright.
2007-11-19 16:30:14 · answer #10 · answered by everyones.aletdown 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋