Infidelity is a disease?

Question

I have this close friend who can't seem to be faithful to anyone. She cheated on her husband and had another boyfriend while they were engaged. She is divorced now and has been seeing this awesome guy (who she now lives with) for about 18 months and she cheats on him everytime he leaves town. Is it possible she is suffering from some sort of psychological disorder? She doesn't feel any remorse unless she gets caught. I keep telling her to get help, but is there any?

It's strange because it only seems to be with strange men..I mean people she has only met once. Then she refuses to ever see them again. When her boyfriend returns home, its as if nothing happened. She claims to have NO thoughts of infidelity when he is at home, only when he is gone...perhaps its the attention she seeks?

Answer 1

Wow.. She should see a therepist or something about this.. because doing that kind of thing to someone you supposidly love and having no remorse whatsoever shows some serious issues.. Try to talk her into it, or tell her to stay single! That's certainly not fair to the people she's cheating on.

Answer 2

I majored in psychology, and issues like these are commonly related to psychology. I know from personal experience, since my own mother has bipolar disorder and borderline personality disorder. She's been divorced and remarried to the SAME man several times due to infidelity. I don't know why he keeps going back to her after she cheats on him. When I was seven years old she actually took me on dates with her boyfriend while she was still married to my stepfather!!! I had to go to her boyfriend's home, who was also married, and meet his wife and two daughters. Did I mention his wife had cancer? My mother has never felt any remorse for any of her actions of infidelity, and whenever she has gotten caught, she's always blamed it on someone else. She says he didn't pay enough attention to her, that someone else swept her off her feet. It's always something. It's just a sick and endless pathological need for attention. There is definitely a psychological link, because it shows a severe lack of judgment and a severe deficiency in basic human principles. Sexual promiscuity is an important component of borderline personality disorder, along with many other disorders. You may want to look up the disorder and see if she fits any of the symptoms. People with BPD often are sexually promiscuous and have very intense relationships (ranging from head over heels in love to abusive and angry relationships). I really can't say for sure what specifically, but it definitely has psychological roots. She truly needs help, because she's only hurting herself and others. Unfortunately, you can't always get people the help that they need. That's her job, and when someone's mentally ill, they're often unable to even grasp that they in fact are mentally ill.
EDIT::: People are saying she's a sex addict or a nymphomaniac, but for women, cheating is almost never about sex. It's almost always about a need for attention. I'm sure you know your friend, and you'd be able to tell if she was a sex addict. People who are sex addicts are usually sexually uninhibited and will usually talk about sex very openly without any shame. You'd almost always notice that. Furthermore, sex addicts are unable to maintain relationships for even a short period, like a month or two. They're so fixated on sex and the new experiences of sex that they can't even have sex with the same person for a week or two or more, because they're ready to move on to sex with a new person practically while they're still having sex. It doesn't sound like your friend is a sex addict at all in my professional opinion.

Answer 3

You're rite!!! And its the WORST 1, to beat!! I've been to/thru
AA, NA, and still clean & sober for almost 13 years, I've had a couple failed marriages, and 100's of failed relationships because of infidelity!!! Can't blame it on Viet Nam, not the drugs/alcohol, I battle this 1 thing as hard as I do/did the other 2, I know be clean&sober helps me stay in line, and not to follow thru with the ladies out there!! IT IS AN EVERYDAY BATTLE!!!! So far I'm able to stay clear of all 3, and life is alot less complicated!! THANK GOD!!!!!!

Answer 4

Infidelity isn't a disease. It's a symptom (or result) of another disease. She might suffer from low self-esteem, depression, low sense of self-worth. Maybe she keeps doing this to reinforce to herself that she's pretty and guys like her.

She can be helped....but she has to admit to the problem, whatever it may be.

Sit down with her and ask what's behind the cheating. Why does she keep doing it. What makes her want to do it. But try not to be judgemental. Make her feel that she can tell you everything about her infidelity.

Answer 5

If anything it could be a mental condition, not a disease per say.
Nymphomania is the need to have sex, be touched, and given orgasms, as much as possible and mostly its more satisfying with someone you just meet. The excitement of a new guy to her is very, very exciting and it is hard for her to control it.
It might be she gets by when he is home because he needs sex that much too, but also she looks forward to the next time he is leaving town because she knows she will be able to enjoy the touch of a new man.

Answer 6

I know a similar person. I think that sometimes the only way someone can change is by being on the other side of that situation. I would inform the guy (since you say he's awesome) since he should have the right to know. (STD's etc)
Maybe someday she will actually fall head over heels and try to be dedicated and it will happen to her, I think the lesson would be learned then. Of course, there is always some type of counseling but results always vary. Best of luck to them both.

Answer 7

I'm sorry to be the one to say this...but your friend is a w***e. to be totally honest i have a friend who is exactly the same way. she a really good person but when i comes to her men she just cannot stay faithful. yes i have told her too to get some help and she has but its done nothing. she cries to me every time she does it so she is remorseful but she just keeps doing it. I've even gone months without talking to her because it pisses me off. then she calls me and of course i forgive her but she just keeps doing it. she can see a counselor and maybe they can find out why she does it but maybe there isn't a reason. I'm sorry to be so mean but really there is nothing you or myself can do to stop these girls from doing it. i wish you and your friend all of the luck and i hope that she can find out why she does it and maybe she might stop.

Answer 8

Sounds like a psychological issue to me... it is just an outlet for some other problem in her life. I would suggest she get help from a psychiatrist. Sounds like she is making some very bad decisions... with her life. Regardless of why, it is wrong. No doubt it is difficult to watch her live this way... I hope she can get some much needed help. :-)

Answer 9

Some people are like that. Sometimes 'seeing' someone about it will help. But eventually, it will hit her that she needs to stop. Whether it be her getting caught enough times, a brutal break-up, or catching some STD, she will learn.

Answer 10

Yes sex addiction is a serious psycological problem. She should see a therapist, because in the end she will most likely end up either with an STD or completely alone.