How Do I Dump My Lover?

Question

I've had a boyfriend for the past 5 1/2 years who I see once a week.

Recently, a new guy came into my life, and we got engaged.

Now, of course, I need to dump my old boyfriend. However, I have no idea how to do it. We have a lot of history. He's been there for me.

The reason I'm dumping him is that I want a normal relationship and marriage. He said clearly that our relationship would never go past seeing each other once a week.

Help! How do I dump him in the least painful way possible?

I never meant to be a jerk, but it seems that in not being able to confront the problem that I've made it worse. I have to talk to him.

Answer 1

It never ceases to amaze me how quickly people get "engaged"....especially when they are still hooked up to someone else. Sorry, but I see no future in any of this...it just seems like silly immature love to me.

Answer 2

Tell him exactly what you said here. You said our relationship would never go past seeing each other once a week. I cant live like this. I want a normal relationship and marriage so we have to end things. You dont need to tell him about the new guy it will only hurt him.

Answer 3

"I'm getting older now and realizing I can't be with someone I can only see once a week and doesn't want to further the relationship, sorry but that will never work for me and I need to find someone that wants to spend each day with me eventually." I wouldn't tell him that you're engaged just yet.

Answer 4

Talk to him... explain to him that you wanted more than just a once-a-week time with him. And, now you have met someone and are engaged and it is over. I feel you should have taken care of this before things started with this new guy and definitely before you got engaged. I guess I am just old fashioned.

Answer 5

wow..you have seen this guy every week and managed to meet someone else and get engaged and he never found out..pretty impressive but if he is the one that did not want to take it further.....who cares...sending him an invite to the wedding..that might get the point across......but it sounds to me like you have been stringing this guy along if he " has been there for you" plus if he was really the one who prevented it from progressing why would you feel bad....he would be getting what he deserved but for some reason you feel guilty.....This makes me wonder about you......

Answer 6

Tell him its been great and you can be friends(if thats what you still want) but you've met someone else who wants what you want. The truth is always best. He'll always be in your heart and has been an important part of your life but you need to move on. If he cares for you, he'll want you to be happy and should understand. Good luck.

Answer 7

Just let him know that you want more than a one day per week relationship. You don;t necessarily have to mention your fiance, even though that is horrible, but in the end it might be better for him not to know.

Answer 8

I would just tell him what you really want. I know it will be hard for you and especially for him, but sometimes you have to just do what's best for you even if it's going to hurt someone else.

Tell him that you want a normal relationship and you want a normal marriage. Tell him it's not fair for either of you to have to put yourselves through that.

Sorry <3

Answer 9

Tell him that you want more in life and he is a really nice guy but you need somebody to be there for you when you need them not just once a week. You can also throw in we can still be friends if you want.

Answer 10

you are a jerk. You should be the one getting dump at the altar when you and this guy getting marriage because he find some else more attractive than you.