At what age will you let your child drink at holidays or the occasional dinner?

Question

Will you wait until they're 21?
Or let them drink earlier?
Do you think supervised drinking at a "young" age will lead to irresponsible party drinking or alcoholism later? Or the reverse?


My parents would serve me wine at holiday gatherings starting when I was 15 and it was never a big deal growing up; my husband's family was like this too, granted this was in London 25 years ago, but still, it seems here in the US everyone is so uptight about drinking.
We've raised our daughter the same way (she's just turned 17), a glass of wine or a beer on occasion, like when we go out, or a cocktail at family gatherings. The other day the mother of one of her friends called to chastise us and gave us a parenting lesson. Now I wonder if we're being irresponsible or naive, unintentionally giving her permission to go out and get shitfaced? (I know she drinks outside of home, and I'm fine with that. It's part of being a teenager... or am I wrong to think that, too?)

What are other parents' views?

Answer 1

absolutely 21. I am not going to get in trouble just for my daughter to be able to drink something that is bad for her, thats irresponsible, and against the law.

Answer 2

I think it really depends on the teen. Personally, my parents would offer me wine and beer when I was 16. But only on special occassions and holidays. And of course, only one glass.

I see no problem with kids drinking under their parents supervision and with proper limitations. I think it actually teaches good responsiblity in terms of liquor consumption.

Also, if you allow your children to have liquor in your presents, I feel it takes away from the "forbidden" aspect of it. Most kids start drinking b/c they have never experienced it before and it's a bit rebellious.

Either way, I don't believe offering your child a glass of wine will make them more eager to start drinking. It's all in how you handle it and what you teach.

If you teach about responsible alcohol consumptions, I think your kids will get it.

I've found the kids with the worst drinking problems (when I was in college) were the ones that had never been exposed to it. Like, your typical good-good kid. The kid that goes away to college with no experience with liquor and then starts partying hard, trying to make up for lost time or whatever.

And yes, I do think drinking outside the home is normal. Is it a bit of a problem, maybe if it gets out of hand. But, I feel like this has been going on for generations. My parents did it in the 60's.

The best way to combat underage drinking is to teach responsible consumption. In high school, I knew kids that would drink at parties. But, they would have 1 beer all night. Hardly getting shitfaced.

Also, I think it goes back to open communication. Teach your kids how dangerous drinking and driving is. Make sure they can call you if they need a ride home.

It's all about being responsible. I think drinking underage is normal. Could you imagine the 21-25 population if no one had a drink before the age of 21? You'd have a bunch of recent college grads that were "discovering their limits" with liquor. What a disaster.

Also, in many states (including mine). If a child is over 16, then the parent can legally buy him or her a drink. The child can legal drink that alcohol bevarage in the presents of their parent. This includes in and outside the home. However, it is illegal to purschase alcohol for a minor if him or her is NOT your child.

Answer 3

I had my first "interaction" with some Canadian Mist and a good friend when I was 14. It was awful. She took care of me when I got sick from it. After that, I always drink responsibly. Teach your daughter that first. To have a drink to get a buzz, but to never go more than that. Face it though, if you know she drinks, and she knows that you know, then she won't lie about doing it. You two have a level of trust there. No sneaking out to drink and smoke pot, having sex and then coming home and lying straight to your face about why her shirt is on backwards and her eyes all bloodshot and rosy red cheeks and nose. As long as she's a good kid, don't worry about it. But do worry about her friends parents, they seem uptight. They may just rat you out. Just burn their house down if they say anything. lol. Tell your daughter that she isn't supposed to tell her friends all the cool things she gets to do at home, because other people look down on it when their panties are in a bunch.

You seem to be a cool mom, very laid back, like me and my own mom. You're doing fine, just keep your family values and morals intact so she knows where she stands with it.

Answer 4

Although I must confess, I have not been blessed with children of my own. I have always worked where children were under my care and responsibility.
One of my nieces I have helped raise at times.
With all the temptations in this world and the need to succeed, not to mention my moral standing on alcohol... I would have to say the 12th of Never would I allow them to drink. I realize as a child grows into adulthood they will make their own choices. I could only hope that by that time they would have developed strong moral and understanding to always be your best and under control.

I think by giving approval for drinking at a younger age, sort of puts the stamp of approval on more than the "occasional" intake of alcohol. No one needs that for today's youth. They already have soooo much peer pressure as it is. They need to be parented in such a way that they make intelligent decisions about how they treat their bodies.

Answer 5

Besides that I believe you answered your own question, I was raised the same way as many kids from other countries. In Europe 99% of children under the age 16, drink wine. Moderation is the key. In the USA they have their heads so far up their behinds, that they believe, (even thou, history have prooved the opposite over an over again), that prohibition is a solution. The more laws and rules you establish, the less and less the people follow them. They make a big deal about everything, that kids just get soooo overwhelmed about rules that they get indifferent and don't care anymore and the consequences are disastrous.
Use common sense, that's the best I can advise.
My Kids are 31 and 27 now. They where raised the same way, and now one is a pilot in the Army, (Chopper), and my baby girl is a Lawyer in trademarks and patents, pretty good for a young aged "drinkers".

Answer 6

It's illegal before they are 21 or 18 (depending on which country you live in).

However, I had sips of alcohol when I was younger and I turned out fine. In fact, it took away the lure or the curiosity involving alcohol later on in life. While all my friends got sh*tfaced in high school and college I chose not to because it had never been a "forbidden fruit" for me.

If it's customary in your family to share a tiny taste with the younger members of the family then go for it whenever you're comfortable to do so.

Answer 7

I say 21 just like the law says. I'm not going to jail because I gave my kid a drink!

I wouldn't allow kids to drink in my house at all. If my child was found to be drinking he'd be in trouble. If another adult gave my child a drink they'd be in trouble!

I don't want to judge you. I just know that it's illegal, I don't think it's immoral. It's not something I would do. That doesn't mean that you are a bad parent, it just means we have different ideas. I just would not allow my teen to drink. I don't believe it has to be a part of being a teenager.

Answer 8

I think my daughter was allowed to have a small glass of wine ( or whatever, like eggnog?) at family gatherings when she was about 16, and I think ( like most parents) I was aware that she sometimes drank outside of home ( most definitely NOT with my permission) Teenager will be teenagers, no matter what parental limits are.It's a time to test limits and find out who you are. Do I condone underage drinking? NO!! My daughter is now 22, NOT an irresponsible drinker, has her own apartment, pays her own bills, works full time, goes to school full time AND maintains a B average. I don't think I did such a bad job!

Answer 9

I was never allowed to drink before I was 21. Being a parent now I don't think that I would let my child drink unless it was a sip of wine or something on a holiday and only if they were 18 or older. There are those parents out there that buy booze for their kids and let them drink at home as long as they stay home and I don't think that is a good idea at all. We need to set good examples for our children.

Answer 10

Depends where I live. Some provinces are 18 and others are 19.
Honestly as long as my child doesn't get drunk and stays in the house I don't care within reason. No drinking before 16.

Answer 11

The Brits have their heads screwed on straight when it comes to teenage drinking. I firmly believe people here in the US are so uptight about alcohol and the legal age should be 18 again.
I was 21 before my parents offered me a drink, but by (English) fiance grew up across the pond, started drinking at 16 and couldn't be more perfect.

overall, you're not a bad parent, you just need to be aware that drinking under 21 isn't legal in the US and there are severe laws in some states to punish parents who allow it.

nannytiff --- if teenagers aren't capable of making good decisions why are they allowed behind the wheel of a car??