Is it really all my fault? My mum and dad argue?

Question

My mum and dad have an argument at least once a week shouting at each other, it usually only happens when they get drunk. I am 17 and they sometimes start shouting at me after it and say its all my fault they argue because i smoke weed and they find pipes or bongs in my room sometimes. But the arguments are never about that it's always about other stupid things never about me, so i dont get why its meant to be my fault. I think it might be from them drinking so much do you think it is my fault?

Answer 1

it has nothing to do with you......... don't ever blame yourself.....its issues they have, your fine...... maybe you can stay at a friends house when you see it coming..... but its the drink has nothing to do with you!!!! please believe me

Answer 2

no it is not your fault.

too many kids feel guilty about their parents' fighting. Please understand that if they are not getting along, that reflects their own problems. period.

It is natural when we are kids to relate to our parents AS our parents and not to consider them as individuals in their own right. We all do that as we are growing up. We have never known our parents in any capacity other than as our caregivers. And that's not bad....until something like this happens. Then it is all too easy to assume that their problems are also part of their role as our caregivers. But that's usually a false assumption.

If my wife and I found bongs in our daughter's room, we would be concerned, but it would not cause the two of us to argue with each other. Your parents can't credibly use that as an excuse.

When we discoverd our daughter was drinking, the resulting conversations brought the family closer together. It did not cause my wife and I to argue.

I'm sorry you have to deal with this. But it is not your fault that your parents argue.

Answer 3

It's not your fault at all and never think that.
When people drink they do stupid things and start arguments for no reason. They get out what's been bottled up inside of them because alcohol changes them. That's why they argue with eachother. They blame it on you because they would hate to blame themselves and the alcohol. They refuse to think that it's their own faults.

Answer 4

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Answer 5

its not your fault. my parents do the same thing. they always fight and sometimes blame it on me. but trust me its not your fault. if their always fighting when their drunk then its most likely that it is the beer or whatever drink that they were having. so dont make your self feel bad when they tell you that its your fault cause its not.

Answer 6

I'm sure it's just from the drinking. They are probably mad about you smoking pot, depending on how old you are, but I don't think it's your fault. I think that's just their excuse. It's definitely the alcohol.