My parents fought and my dad left!?

Question

My parents just got into a huge fight and my father left saying to my mom "you broke my heart." He drove away and we don't know where he is and he won't answer his phone. Currently, his voice mail says "I can't return your calls right now."

I'm really scared. It's just me and my sisters right now and my mom apologized, but he won't call back. We have no idea where we went and I'm really scared. I'm the oldest of four girls and right now my little sisters asking me what's going on. We're supposed to travel tomorrow to see my dad's family, but now my parents don't know if we're going on our trip afterall.

How can I help my parents? They've been married for 16 years and everything seems to be going so bad right now. Yesterday was my bad meet and now this!

What can a 14 yr old girl do to reunite her parents?

Serious answers please. Thank you.

My mother did not cheat. My dad did not cheat. My family is Catholic.

Thanks everyone for all the wonderful answers.

Answer 1

I will pray for restoration sweetheart....but it is between them. It is not your fault and your dad will call hopefully when he is calm. You don't want him to fuss at you out of being frustrated with Mom right??..
Lord,
I pray for this family that you turn the father's heart back to his children and family.
Let the relationship between husband and wife be restored and trust be restored for your will be done in this situation.
Surround these girls and give them peace and comfort that passes all understanding.
Thank You and we praise You Father God,
In Jesus's Name We Pray,
AMEN!!


†Everyday Prayer Warrior†

Answer 2

Honey, oh, I am so sorry! I am 45 and I cannot even imagine the fear you're experiencing. If your father actually said, "You broke my heart" it doesn't HAVE to mean he had an affair. She might have betrayed his trust in some other way. As I have said, I don't know the particulars of your parents marriage, but a father is a father, and he LOVES his children, so I bet when he cools down and thinks clearly he will get in touch with you and your sisters. Being a Daddy's girl myself, I know this first hand. I know this is hard. Please try to stay calm, and that will make your sisters feel safer and not so afraid. What I would do is stand by your mother and let her know you care about the situation, and then try to find out what's going on. 14 in this day and age is practically an adult- well, pretty close to it. Have a serious talk with your mom. I'm wishing you the best.

Answer 3

Don't take that upon yourself.........it isn't your fault.

2 People with 2 opinions under the same roof is a hard thing to cope.

If your mom "broke your dad's heart" I'd think only ONE thing it could be..........that she had an affair.
If that is the case.......then your dad has every right to leave.......and a clean break now is better than letting it go on....and the same thing happening over and over again, over the years....making him a bitter man.......!

You can help by being more quiet.....listening....and helping with chores around the house. Hug her a lot. Pray for her mostly.

Pray your dad might find a Real Christian gal that will be Trustworthy, Honest, and Faithful.

It is easier to leave than to stay.....and worry every minute of every day of every week, month, year. It drives you insane, and usually ends up in divorce anyway.

They could agree to get a divorce and then later just live together until you kids are out of High School. That might make them feel better about the whole thing. But do remember that if your mom did have an affair........then in God's eyes your dad can leave.

Answer 4

You are incredibly brave and thoughtful to want to help your parents.

The first thing you and your sisters need to know is that the problem between your mom and your dad is not about you. I'll repeat that, because it's important. The problem between your mom and your dad is not about you.

We like to believe that as we get older, we are more capable of fixing our problems with other people. Unfortunately, this isn't always the case. Humans are pretty miserable about being able to communicate the things that are most important to them, including how they feel about other people. Too, as the years with one another increase, so do our responsibilities. I have a daughter and four step-children, and on days when it seems like everything is about going to work, coming home from work, working to feed the kids, getting the work that should have been done AT work done at home, etc., maintaining a relationship, even an important relationship, can be really tough.

I'm sure that your parents care a whole lot for one another. It's just that sometimes, with everything else parents have to do, they forget to remind one another about how much they care. Too, we sometimes say mean things to one another, just as if we were still kids. In some ways, we will always be kids.

Your dad probably needs to blow off some steam, i.e., he has to wait until he is not as mad as he is now before his ability to act like an adult will kick in again. I can't make excuses for him -- it is not particularly responsible to just storm out -- but anger makes people do stupid things.

I think it would be a great idea if you show your mom your question and read all of the answers together, maybe with your sisters. Perhaps you can make lists of the things you really like about one another, and the things that really piss you off. You can discuss these lists and use them to try to figure out better ways to get along. I know that won't help this current problem, but maybe it will help all of you to get along better when anger issues arise in the future.

I am so sad that you had to experience this fight between your parents. I really hope that you hear from your dad soon.

Answer 5

Sorry to hear about that. It is always scary when parents fight. Often times you don't even know what is going on or what will happen. What's worse is that your father won't even talk to his own daughters. I say just give him some time, I know that it is hard to understand. Keep trying to call your dad, leave messages on his voice mail saying how much you miss him and maybe that will make him realize how much you miss him.Your mother must have done something to really hurt him bad.

You are 14 and the oldest, so I think it is time for you to have a woman to woman talk with your mom so at least you know what is going on. I think she owes you some sort of explanation for what is going on. It is not fair for her or your father to leave all of you in suspense. You need to know the truth.

Last but not least, grown up relationships are complicated. Just remember it is nothing you or your sisters did to make your father angry and leave. A lot of times kids will blame themselves and it has nothing to do with dad not loving you. It is just something that mom and dad have to work out together, if it is even possible at this point. I know these are hard, hard things to deal with. I'm sure you miss your dad a whole lot, but just hang in there. Its the only thing you can do for now. Be strong for your sisters, they need you. I hope that everything gets better for you soon.

Answer 6

Honestly, there is nothing that anyone can do to reunite their parents. I understand that children have the need and want for their parents to be together, but there is an obvious reason as to why things went this far. It is up to your parents to resolve their differences.

As a sister you can, keep your siblings as calm as possible, listen to what they have to say to you, ask your mother if there is anything you can do for her. Have you called your dad and left him a message personally? You do deserve an answer, you are old enough (at least I think) for him or your mother to let you know where things are heading.

Keep your head up! You are not the only person this has happened to. If you need someone to talk to, find other children your age who have gone through the same thing, talk to a school counselor or a pastor from your church(if you have one).

Know that you are loved!

Answer 7

this is a tough situation. Really there's nothing you can do but be strong for your siblings. They don't understand whats going on right now so they need you around, just be there for them. I'm sure your parents will work things out. Try and talk to your mom about what is going on, Let her know what kind of position she is putting you in by this. Let her know that she needs to talk to you and your siblings because everyone is worried about what is going on. And its really not fair that you have to be on the relaying back to them about everything. It seems that your mom is trying to contact your dad so that's a good thing. But as for your father there's nothing you can do because you guys cant get in touch with him. I wouldn't bring anyone else in the picture though, not yet. Not his parents are anything because that could turn really bad. Just give it one more day and if something doesn't turn around soon then maybe its time to talk to someone in the family that might be able to contact your dad better.

Answer 8

Sweetie I am sorry to hear about your parents argument. I'm sure you and your sisters are all very hurt, sad and scared. But there is nothing you can do right now. You don't want to get involved in their argument.

This happened in my house once, though I was older than you. My parents both needed time to cool off after the massive argument. But my dad did return home later. Things were tense for a while when he came back, and it took a long time for them to get better, but they're still together today.

You have to be strong and help out with your sisters. That's the best thing you can do for them right now. As a wife, it's not easy to argue with your husband. Sometimes you say horrible things to eachother just out of anger. Let them cool off and hopefully things will work out and they'll be together. But, if not, you have to realize none of this is your fault and that they both really, really love you.

Answer 9

Im sorry to hear this =[ Right now, just try to keep your head up. Lots of families fight, and your dad might just need a little time to calm down and think. He has a family and I honestly don't think he will just walk out after 16 years. This probably isn't right to suggest, but if your parents do sit you all down and have a talk about the fighting, maybe suggest marriage counseling. As your family grows, the dynamics of their relationship changes, and they might be going through some issues you can't fathom right now. Counseling can help get them through the tough time.

Right now though, you can just keep reassuring your sisters everything is fine. Don't give them too many details that they don't need to know!

I hope all goes well and that you do get to have a Happy Thanksgiving. Good luck to you and your family.

Answer 10

My first prayer is to hope by the time I have written my response, your father has returned. My second prayer, is to ask God to lay a serious reminder on your father's heart of what his responsibilities are, and to have a soul-deep understanding of the pain he is causing. and I also want to pray for you and your sisters, and mother, that together, you will all be able to weather this storm.

What can you do? For starters, disregard suggestions about staging a run away - someone there has been watching too many Hallmark movies. Second, disregard the answers from those telling you to not become involved. As a part of the family, when it comes to holding the family together, no one should be silent.

Do you have any friends your age who attend church? Ask them if they have a youth leader you can speak to. Never be surprised by what many young teens bring to a Youth Leader, and this person can also help with prayer.

On your own, there might not be a lot any one person can do... but limitations don't apply to the King of all Kings. Trust me on that one!

† Travelling Prayer Warrior †

Answer 11

There's nothing that you or your little sisters can do to reunite your parents. Your mom and dad need to work things out between themselves. You might suggest to your mom that they go to a marriage counselor to get some help sorting things out.

Sometimes parents will have a verbal fight and say things that they don't mean and then regret them. It could be that your dad will be back today or tomorrow and everything will work out. Sometimes people just need to get away from each other for a couple of days and do some serious thinking to resolve their feelings.

Good luck, honey. I hope everything works out for your family.