My friend confessed she dropped the N*bomb and, while embarrassed, just changed the subject...?

Question

What SHOULD she have done?
Friend "A" (white) was at my house for a party and I guess she dropped the N*bomb in front of friend "B" (black) and the room just got quiet for a minute and she changed the subject. From what she told me (and from what I know of her), she didn't say it in a mean way or with any hate in her heart whatsoever, it was just one of those things where it's like, "I've seen the movie 'Friday' ONE too many times" and I guess it just kind of came out. Also, friend "A" is closer to friend "B" than me- that's how I know friend "B".
I wasn't in the room when it happened...but had I been, is there anything I could have said or done to fix it and not destroy the mood of the party? What should friend "A" said? Friend "A" said that friend "B" didn't say anything, but friend "B" is really quiet and easygoing anyway. Any thoughts?

Answer 1

Depends on how uptight the crowd was. I wouldn't react at all to it, but some people are getting hypersensitive to it lately, with help from the media.

Answer 2

I think friend "a" did the right thing in ignoring it and not making an uncomfortable situation worse. She should have, at her first chance, pulled aside friend "b" and told her she was sorry since you say they are good friends. Friend "b" sounds like she knows "a" well enough to know she meant no harm.
As for people who say "stop blaming the movie Friday" quite frankly we are bombarded with the word from the Black community. At least that's the only place I ever hear it. Then it's like hey, we want you to buy our cd's and watch our movies but you can only say 'x, y, z'.. Oh but don't say such and so cause we'll get mad. So which is it? we're all on our toes to make sure not to offend and are hyper-sensitive in the process. Yet other races are still being made fun of in movies, such as Latinos and Asians and it's supposed to be funny. I don't get that...
There is a difference between how it's said also so I'm assuming by the story that she said "n---a" and not the other.. which shows she was probably just trying to be "cool" and not mean.

Answer 3

Friend A, went about it the easiest way she knew how, changed the subject but if I was in the room I would have called her card but since Friend B said nothing it made no difference what was said. If you were in the room I would have express your dis-concern on the subject not rowdy but as to let Friend A know she was wrong and no more Friday movies...

Answer 4

Imo, as long as the word isn't used in an insulting fashion, I think it's fine. The people in the room just paused because they're white. And white people are dumb, generally.

Though, it's often pretty humorous to watch these reactions. Basically the whole room just put the black person on the spotlight, and that's usually more troubling then not.

Just have your friend apologize to the black person, if they felt bad about it.

Answer 5

She can't blame it on 'Friday', but she's probably getting a little too comfortable with it. I doubt friend 'B' is really making too big of a deal about it.

She should just move on. There's no reason for friend 'A' to apologize unless she thinks it will make her feel better but it would probably just be embarrassing for 'B'. If they're friends before I doubt this will mess things up too much. She should just use a lot more tact in her social situations.

Answer 6

Let it go. Some people embrace their heritage more than others. Quiet doesn't mean anything. If the AFRICAN AMERICAN friend appeared indignant, then just explain your other friend is slightly ignorant and has gone off her meds or something.

WHAT?! A thumbs down for that?

Answer 7

I think an "Oh my god, I'm so sorry," would have been appropriate before changing the subject.

Answer 8

Learn from her mistake. JUST don't ever say the ugly thing again!

Answer 9

...treat it as if it never happened, and move forward!!