My brother's girlfriend is coming to Thanksgiving dinner and it's not a secret that I hate her and the feeling is mutual. My parents think she's really nice and cares about my brother but she's only with him because he is a star athlete in college and I can see right through her and she knows it. My parents invited her without thinking of what I think! They just said if my boyfriend can come then so can his girlfriend but there is a difference my guy is actually NICE and cares about me and she is just a shallow groupie girl who needs to go home for Thanksgiving! We have a small family so it will be hard to avoid her. I was thinking of just going with my boyfriend to some restaurant that serves Thanksgiving dinner instead but I know that will hurt my mom. What would you do?
2007-11-19 06:12:43 · 21 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
You should go to Thanksgiving, because family, for better or for worse, and gratitude, are what this holiday is all about.
Rather than focus on how much you dislike your brother's girlfriend, focus on what you have to be grateful for. Your health, your family's health, your house, their house, the love your family shares -- there is indeed much bounty to be grateful for.
Do not tell your brother what you think about her -- this is his decision to make. Challenge yourself to find 5 good things about his girlfriend. Do not use the word "but" in any of these things. If you're really challenged, you must be able to find something, even if it's "I like the blue in her skirt".
Out of love for your family, put your impressions aside and try to keep the peace. Take the high road and you won't be sorry.
2007-11-19 06:19:43 · answer #1 · answered by Liza 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Don't you dare go to a restaurant on Thanksgiving day after your mom stands up and does all the cooking.
Why in the world would you allow this person to run you out of your own home? Remember, she is a quest, just like your boyfriend is a guest. If you can't learn to be more mature and suck it up, then you have a lot of learning to do.
If you did something like that, you do realize she won't feel bad about it only you and your family will suffer and she will always have the upper hand over you.
Let her come, that does not mean you have to speak to her.
Just be yourself, help mom out in the kitchen, enjoy the day and think of all the reasons you are thankful. One is you will get to see your brother and remember this....
At least you have are having a family to go home to and gather with, this year I am volunteering to feed the homeless because my kids and I haven't spoke since April of this year. they do not want to see me anymore. This is my first holiday alone and i mean ALONE, so I decided I could not sit here by myself all day, knowing there were tons of happy families together today feeling sorry for myself and I realized that I am not alone and there are others out there worse off than me.
So, suck it up, ignore her, show your family love and don't ever do that to your mother. Be grateful, it is a day of Thanks, try and remember that and I'm sure you will be just fine throughout the day. And when she says or does something that annoys you......stop and think about this email I'm sending to you right now and know that I am with starving people who live in a shelter and know that I am going to make the best of my day and so should you.
2007-11-19 06:28:04 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
Its the harsh truth but sometimes you've just got to suck things up.
I know the situation you're in though. I've been in your shoes before. This year I'm sourt of at the other end. My boyfriends mother invited me over for thanksgiving. I can not stand this lady! She does drugs and drinks. She treats my boyfriend like crap. She doesnt even make turkey for thanksgiving. Last year she made my boyfriend go out and buy her a turkey so she could cook it - and she made spaghetti instead. ..
My boyfriend knows how I feel, and he said that I do not have to go to his house. However, I dont want to be rude! So I am going to stop over his house for an hour or so, and then I will go and eat thanksgiving dinner with my family.
Can you and your boyfriend do something similar? Perhaps you and your boyfriend can go out for the morning (Say that you need to run to the store to get something) - return home to eat a nice thanksgiving meal with your family - chit chat a bit - and then explain to your family that your boyfriends family invited you over for dessert (or make something else up - a friend invited you over for dessert....anything so that you can leave shortly after dinner) ...
That way you can still have a dinner with your family - and you'll only have to put up with you're brothers girlfriend for a short time.
Good luck, I hope everything works out!
2007-11-19 06:26:02 · answer #3 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
get over it. Even though you love your brother, he is allowed to make his own mistakes to learn life. Who are you to stop him? I'm sure you have made decisions he did not agree with. Be the mature one, Be polite to her no matter how hard it is. If you love your brother you will give him respect for his decisions. (good or bad) I'm sure you have told him your observations of this girl. He will sooner or later recognize her for what she is. Until then the more waves you cause the more your family will focus on your negativity. Preventing them from seeing what she really is. Maybe after time you will see you are wrong about her. One or the other has to be wrong. What evidence do you have that she is using him.
I understand you probably have more incite on this than your parents & your brother is to close to see anything. Allow the girl at least a small benifet of dout. It will help you tollerate her.
2007-11-19 06:23:03 · answer #4 · answered by lil bit 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
first of all you do no longer want a 20 lb Turkey for 8 people. you may get a 12-14 lb or maybe 10-12 lb. With each and every of the factors, that would desire to be great adequate. are you able to get your palms on a huge Crock pot or a conveyable oven? i'm specific somebody you already know owns one. that's going to take longer to cook dinner. cook dinner it slower and it will likely be juicy. Then whilst that's achieved turn it as much as brown. sturdy success. additionally, i understand grocery shops are reducing up Turkeys for smaller parts. you could constantly purchase them and cook dinner in the smaller transportable oven. If all else fells ...circulate purchase a cooked Turkey at a deli.
2016-09-29 12:54:03 · answer #5 · answered by lacie 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Honey I'm sorry you feel that way, and I've been in your shoes before and the best thing to do is just say hello to her and go your way and enjoy your time with your family,for you don't know if this will be your last or your parents last Thanksgiving and you need to cherish each and very minute you can,no matter who is there or not.Honey just say hello and let her know that your thankful for her coming and you hope she enjoys herself and go on.Happy Thanksgiving to you and your family.
2007-11-19 06:19:26 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Here's my secret: whenever I feel like I can't keep my rude comments to myself, I put a piece of something in my mouth (usually ice or gum). It keeps me from speaking, calms me down, and also keeps me from making an a** out of myself. I would only use this trick when/if she makes any rude little snips at you. Most importantly remain civil and relaxed. She's the outsider here, not you. Take peace from your environment and you will add it 10 fold! Just relax and enjoy your holiday, she doesn't deserve any kind of reaction from you.
2007-11-19 06:26:45 · answer #7 · answered by Annie 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
First, by hating her you don't make yourself look very good. Plus hating takes up allot of energy that could otherwise be avoided.
Since your brother is in college I think he is old enough to make his own decisions. You should really mind your own business and worry about your relationship. I'm sure there are people that are not real thrilled with you or your boyfriend either.
Grow up!
2007-11-19 06:20:01 · answer #8 · answered by m_c_m_a_n 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Go to Thanksgiving Dinner at your Mom's house, be polite and pleasant...
The attitude you are showing now is rather shallow.. she is your BROTHER's girlfriend, not yours.... I 'm sure he had some say in choosing her.. and it's really none of your business...
2007-11-19 06:22:38 · answer #9 · answered by Sophie B 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
thanksgiving is a time to be with family so you don't want to ruin it by fighting with your brothers girl. the best way to get to her without ruining dinner is to be nice to her. have you ever heard that you should kill your enemies with kindness. just for that one night be cool with her. cause at the end of the night your brother and your mother will be proud of you for getting along with her.
2007-11-19 06:20:39 · answer #10 · answered by buddahbear 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋