Women: if one of your male friends confessed he's in love with you and you don't feel the same way how would y

Question

how would you respond to this??? would it ruin the friendship? would you be able to laugh it off and move on? would it make things forever awkward between the two of you??

Answer 1

You could remain friends. It might be awkward for a time, but I wouldn't want to lose a good friend over it.

When my friend told me he loved me, I married him.
Thirteen years and still going strong.
That works too.

Answer 2

I had this happen to me. I told him that I was flattered but that our friendship meant more to me. He was my best friend & I had been dating his friend. When his friend & I broke up, he wanted us to get together. It did not ruin the friendship. Our friendship was pretty solid. It's funny because I run into him all the time now- he just lives a couple streets from me & it's not awkward at all. He has a wife & 5 kids & I have a husband & 2 kids. I'm sure he still remembers because I know my answer upset him a lot. I just didn't feel the same connection. I did, however, realize that after he confessed his feelings that I wasn't so quick to talk to him about my relationships anymore because I didn't want to rub them in his face.

Answer 3

It would depend *entirely* upon which of my male friends it was, LOL. Most of them are married and I would DEFINATELY not react well to that.

But you've asked what I would do, and I assume you mean that he was "available." I guess I would first ask myself *why* I don't feel that way about him. Maybe I don't know him well enough; maybe I don't feel that we have "chemistry" together; but maybe, just maybe, I don't feel that way because I haven't really sat down and thought about it. I'm not in the habit of thinking romantically about every single man I meet, LOL, so this is more likely to be true for me than the other possibilities. I would then ask myself if I *could* think that way about him. I'm a believer in "chemistry," so the question of whether or not he and I have it, even minimally, would be key. If there's no chemistry, that's a complete "deal breaker" for me.

Would it ruin the friendship? Probably not, but I can't predict the future. Actually, the best relationship I've ever had in my life evolved from a friendship.

But what does it matter what *I* would think?

TALK TO HER.

p.s. -- just so you know, I speak from experience. This *has* happened to me several times before. Some of them I dated, others I didn't; as I wrote, it depended on *who* he was.

Answer 4

I say just take the dive and ask him on a date. He is either someone who enjoys older ladies (Most of us really do prefer older to younger) or he's one of those 18 year old chasers, which is not healthy. Most guys don't prefer women their own age. Then again I could be totally wrong, he is an individual after all, this is a generalization.

Answer 5

That is a risk I take being platonic friends with guys.
I honestly would do this: I will thank him and I will let him know I am grateful for the fact he has feelings for me; that I feel honored (as long as he's not b.s-ing with me). I would tell him I am so sorry I do not feel the same way, only liking him as a friend. If I feel like he's a really great guy, I would tell him there is a right someone for him.
I would still be friends with him without making it awkward. Those things do happen. I would still be friends with him as long as he respect my platonic boundaries.

Sometimes friendships are meant to become romantic, sometimes it's not. But it always IS a wise idea to be platonic friends first. That's what I'm going to do for now on, instead of going straight to dating!

When I was a senior in HS, my father told a friend of mine, who asked him for advice, my father told him that if his friend was his real friend, she can handle the fact that he had feelings for her, and they still be friends. I agree with my father, providing the person who has the feelings can stay within the platonic boundaries if turned down.

Answer 6

Relevant about what type of friend they are.
Giggling it off ... well, that would also depend on how smitten they were. Most men don't give up when u say, "keep praying". Should they not take cue's that I'm not into them and be persistant ... well, that would ruin the friendship. Mainly because once someone has fallen in love they can't change they way they feel.

Answer 7

When it happened to me, I was really surprised. I stammered for a minute and he already knew I didn't feel the same way about him. He started to say something about how he knew it was impossible (I was already married!), and I said, "I'm sorry if you felt I gave you any encouragement, because that was not at ALL my intention." He said no, that wasn't it, it was just comparing me to his wife made him realize the type of woman he *could* have had, and then I got ticked off and said he should NEVER compare his wife to anybody else.

Yes, his confession ruined our friendship and mightily cooled the friendship he had with my husband (whom I had to tell because he was wondering why he never heard from the other guy or why he never returned calls). They used to run into each other now and then and were polite, but we haven't seen them in years. Last I heard, he was still married to the same woman.

I would not have been able to laugh it off because he was so serious and the whole situation was so seriously wrong and tragic.

Answer 8

You have to tell him the truth: "I want to remain friends." Try not to look embarrassed when you talk to him, it will make him feel embarrassed for the both of you. My friend has a guy friend that told her he liked her and they are still friends. It may or may not ruin your friendship depending on how you approach the situation. No laughing stuff off; he has feelings for you and they will be hurt when you tell him how you feel about the relationship. But you will be able to move on.

Answer 9

I had this happen to me when I was younger ( before I was married) I had a really good friend who one day told me that he loved me, and it was cute the way he described it and I felt awful that I didn't feel the same way, and I knew it was not going to work romantically....and our friendship did end up dying which is sad as well- it was akward to be honest with you....more akward for him I think because we worked at the same place and he saw me often and I tried continuing the friendship as normal, but eventually we parted paths.....(plus we lived in separate towns and we were working in a National Park at the time)

Also there was someone else a year later that I had become friends with that admitted to being in love with me and I had to let him down gently-- very hard thing to do. He ended up quitting his job and leaving saying it was because he did not want to have to see me, because it hurt him too much. He wrote me a letter that was a bit strange, and I thought almost semi pyschotic but most people told me it was his heart poured out on paper....hmmmm....anyways we stopped hanging out as well.
He was a believer in "love at first sight" -- but it got a little weird.

Answer 10

If he says it like a joke then I could play it off like a joke. But the last time that this happened to me the guy just told a friend of mine so that she could tell me but while that didn't immediately ruin the friendship it did eventually because I didn't feel comfortable around him anymore...

Answer 11

I would tell him the truth as kindly as I could. Most likely it will change the friendship, but it's better than giving him false hope.....which is very unkind. Friends are hard to come by (the real kind) and truth is always a requirement.