how do you explain...?

Question

I guess I have a friend with benefits, and I'm starting to regret starting this. I'm falling for him and he just doesn't understand why I get jealous when I know he's with someone else. He says I don't have a right to be jealous because I'm with him almost every single day. That's not the point, I just can't stand the idea of him with someone else, and I don't know how else to explain it to him...Also, when I told him how I was feeling and how I didn't know if I can keep having benefits with him and he said he felt like he should just end the friendship because that's what I would end up doing anyway, when that's not true. He says he has feelings for me but couldn't care less if I hook up with someone else. What do I do? I'm in too deep and don't know how to stop.

Answer 1

There is no future in this relationship. He's told you flat out you are not his girlfriend and he will not be exclusive with you. If you can't be with him and see other people or let him see other people, then you can't be in this relationship anymore. And I don't recommend that your remain friends, you need a clean break so you can get him out of your system so you can move on. That doesn't mean that you can't be just friends later on in life, you just can't be friends right now.

this is what usually happens with these "friends with benefits" deals. Everyone is alright going into them but then someone develops deeper feelings for the other one and then the jealousy shows and then there are fights and the one who is not as emotionally invested in the deal dumps the one with the strong feelings.

Tell him straight out, "My feelings for you have grown and I can't be in this relationship with you anymore. I want to see you exlusively and I want you to see only me and I know that is not what you want. It hurts me to see you with other women, so that I can move on with my life, I need to stop seeing you for a while."

Then don't take his calls anymore, don't go to places he hangs out hoping to catch a glimpse of him, don't call him, don't ask mutual friends about him and when they bring him up--just tell them that you aren't interested in hearing about him.

If you aren't willing to do this, then be prepared for a lot of heartache, because that's all this situation is going to get you.

Good Luck.

Answer 2

This is why this almost never works out. Sex creates feelings for most people and when you think it wont matter at first, it flips around on you. Let him know how you feel. Might be a good idea for you to walk away from this one and find someone who will treat you the way you should be treated.

Answer 3

ooohhhh weeeeee...I have the same problem, the best thing to do is to stop the relationship right now. Your just diggin a biggger ditch for yourself honey...and your gonna have a hellva of a time tryin to get your self out. First step is to stop calling, flat out. If he really cared he would call you, if not he wont call, then you'll realize you dont need him. your sitting there with all those feelings and hes doing him, with who ever, whenever and I kno it hurts so your just going ot have to stop messing him....FRIENDS WITH BENEFITS NEVER WORK WITH GIRLS, unless you have a lil dude in you and you play dudes just like dudes play females....no lie

Answer 4

You need to sit with him & talk. Tell him your feelings and how you feel when he's with others. You need to decide if you want more than what he has to offer or not. If he only wants you as a Freind with benefits you then you have to let him go.

Answer 5

**** dats messed up! Well u nvr should do something like dat unless u kno u wont care since u do u should jus go back 2 being friends!

Answer 6

You need to drop him and let him move on and so do you. Just find someone else that will actually care about you.

Answer 7

You just have to stop he is using u.